Pursuit of Happiness
by Kazy
Summary: "If I had accepted my life, I would be a cocktail waitress in Vegas like my mother, and I never would have gone to college, and I never would have moved a thousand miles away to work at Queen Consolidated, and I never would have believed some crazy guy in a hood when he told me I could be more than just some IT girl." [Pre-season 3] Oliver/Felicity
1. Part I

**And I'm back! It took three months, but I'm done with that Felicity!centric fic. It'll be five chapters long and hopefully a ton of fun. Each part will focus on a specific "era" of Felicity's life over the past ten years, and give a glimpse of what each year taught Felicity. There are a few spoilers for season 3 but if you don't already know what they are you won't be shocked and appalled by them. It's basically me going nuts because we didn't have a backstory for Felicity so be sure that season 3 will prove me entirely wrong. This is my vision of how and why Felicity Smoak came to fit in that well with Team Arrow.**

**I'm really nervous about posting this story. I hope you'll enjoy it and have a few laughs.**

**PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS**

**PART I.**

"_If I had accepted my life, I would be a cocktail waitress in Vegas like my mother, and I never would have gone to college, and I never would have moved a thousand miles away to work at Queen Consolidated, and I never would have believed some crazy guy in a hood when he told me I could be more than just some IT girl_."

— Felicity Smoak, episode 2.21

**MAY 2005**

Felicity slumped on the bench in the food court, dropping her backpack unceremoniously on the floor, and heaved out her most desperate sigh.

"God it's too hot in here," she grumbled.

Taylor looked up from her nails, arching an eyebrow.

"We live in the middle of the desert. _Why_ do you always say that like it's a surprise?"

Her best friend eyed her murderously.

"Because it is insufferable and it makes me miserable, _and I hate that heat_. I feel like I'm choking."

"Aww, look at you, poor thing," Taylor cooed sarcastically. "Come on, let's go home girlfriend, I'll make you some lemonade."

She put the brush of the nail paint back in its bottle without finishing her hand and stood up, grabbing her handbag in the same movement. Felicity frowned disapprovingly.

"You have history last period, T."

"Do I?" Taylor blinked with a blinding smile, flipping her long raven hair behind her shoulder.

"You're never going to go college if you keep skipping…" Felicity mumbled, standing up to follow her friend's peppy lead.

"Oh honey, that ship has sailed the day these two little bars appeared on that stupid stick."

They found Felicity's tiny, old car and opened its doors with technique (a hit with the hip and then a fierce pull), letting the hot air out for a few seconds before daring to step inside. Felicity's shitty car didn't have air conditioning. Or an engine that was worth anything, for that matter. But she paid it herself with her shifts at Frankie's Diner and she wouldn't trade it for the world.

Felicity sighed as she started driving her noisy car out of the parking lot and Taylor began fidgeting with the radio. That was almost broken too, it was so difficult to get any radio station they usually didn't even try, and it would only take tapes. Which Felicity didn't have anymore. Because of course, she thought that she wouldn't need tapes in two thousand freaking five.

"You went to school and kept up with your homework throughout your pregnancy. Why would you give up now? I told you some universities have great programs for single mothers and…"

"I'm not giving up!" Taylor cut with energy. "I just have different priorities. I'm a mom now. And I'm going to college! Just not the kind we envisioned growing up in my fancy backyard. I looked up Northwest Career College — the address is _smoke_ ranch road, I think it's fitting — it's not that far from home I'll be able to go to work, take care of Lilly and get a barely higher education."

Felicity said nothing, heading towards Taylor's place as she sighed again, prompting her friend to ditch her fight with the radio.

"Oh my god, Smoak, lighten up!" Taylor shrieked. "What's with the grumpiness today? The sun is shining bright in the sky, it's almost summer, and you are looking at a perfectly wonderful life to come! I should be the grumpy one! You're ditching me for freakin' MIT in a few months!"

Felicity didn't answer, and refused to meet her best friend's gaze as she drove up north, which only worried Taylor.

"Did you and Creepy break up?"

Felicity spun her head to look at her friends in shock.

"_Stop calling him that_. And no! Why would you ask that?"

"Because you're only this quiet when something's wrong, dummy! You were fine this morning and at lunch. Then you went to talk to _Mark_" cue in disgust and loathing, "and now that's what I get. Please tell me you guys broke up."

Felicity rolled her eyes and snorted.

"How can you wish me that?"

"Because I love you?" Taylor answered, undeterred. "You deserve so much better than that dickwad."

"Taylor!"

The girl tilted her head and barked out a happy laugh, sticking her face out the rolled-down window.

"You know, sometimes you really sound exactly like my mother it's scary."

"Well sometimes you sound like mine!"

"Wow, low blow, Smoak! Low blow!" Taylor laughed. "Aaah but you're right. I can be really annoying when I'm drunk. Not that I remember what that's like. It's been so long. Let's get drunk again, Felicity," she pleaded dramatically, clutching at Felicity's arm and shaking it. "I've popped my kid out! I'm not breast feeding!"

"And your mom is definitely going to give you back your fake ID and babysit your daughter while you go on the Strip illegally," Felicity quipped. "Again."

Taylor grimaced, amused.

"You know, I love my daughter, but I'm so freaking sad that I can't tell my mom that I'm going to your place for a sleepover anymore — she'll tell me to take Lilly with me since I'm a mother and stuff. But what would we do with her? Leave her in the car? I so wish you had a little brother to do our dirty work."

"You're calling babysitting your own daughter 'dirty work'?" Felicity arched her eyebrow.

Taylor shrugged, unapologetic.

"Well I guess I did dirty, dirty work to get her!"

"Ew, gross, T!"

"Come on, you do the same with Creepy."

"Stop calling him that! Mark is not creepy!"

Taylor eyed Felicity diabolically and put her head really close to her friend's face, her voice dropping a few octaves, throaty and eerie.

"'_Your hair is so soft Felicity I just love it so much_', '_can I touch your fingers_?'"

Felicity pushed Taylor's face away from her with a disgusted grimace, laughing genuinely despite herself at her friend's antics.

"It was _one_ time three years ago when he was high! Will you freaking let it go?"

"Anyone that was creepy once can be creepy later. And he's nerdy!"

"I'm nerdy too!"

"Yeah but you're hot-secretary nerdy! You might dress in grey and black because you want to blend in and not be noticed…"

Felicity pulled her head back and let out an annoyed groan at the repetitive conversation.

"And he noticed me. So I guess I'm doing something right!"

"Urgh," Taylor reacted, putting her index in her mouth to fake vomit. "There's nothing right about you and Creepy. That's one of the silver linings of you going to MIT, you know. You're never going to work."

Felicity rolled her eyes as they reached Taylor's street and shook her head.

"You can be such a bitch sometimes."

"Yop, but I'm a bitch with wi-fi, you _need_ me. Sometimes, I wonder if you only come visit because your mom forgets to pay the internet," Taylor sighed exaggeratedly, shaking her head in false despair.

"My mom can't _always afford_ the internet, there's a difference," Felicity snorted, parking the car in Taylor's huge front yard. "I'm the one dealing with the bills. And I come every freaking day! You're such a drama queen."

"Yeah but a drama queen who makes you laugh, entertains you and fucks up more than you."

Felicity's face softened as she looked at her friend.

"I would never think of you as a fuck up. But you're right. You make me laugh and you entertain me to no end."

Taylor let her head drop against the headrest, her bright green eyes meeting Felicity's with shy emotion. Taylor was such a vivacious, loud and exhausting presence that Felicity often forgot how emotional she could get and how much of her attitude was bravado.

"You're gonna miss me, huh Felicity?"

Oh, she was pulling the 'Felicity' card. She put her hand on her friend's and pressed it quietly.

"I _always_ miss you."

Taylor's devilish grin broke the moment.

"Are you missing me right now?"

Felicity grinned right back at her, pushing her glasses up her nose.

"Yes, you dork, despite the fact that you insulted my boyfriend. _Again_. You scare him you know."

Felicity opened the doors and got out, pointedly ignoring Taylor's very proud smirk.

"Well if he's scared of me, it's because he knows he's doing something wrong!"

Taylor barged into her home noisily, shouting in the entrance that she was back as she dropped her bag on the floor and stepped out of her shoes.

"Now, where's my baby!" she exclaimed giddily.

Like every afternoon in the past nine months, Felicity looked at her seventeen year-old best friend bounce on her heels and step inside the living room excitedly, and felt her heart pinch when she saw the beaming smile of Taylor's daughter once she caught sight of her mother.

She couldn't believe she ever gave that kind of smile to her own eighteen year old mother. Or father, for that matter. And yet… She must have been just like Lilly at one point, right? If her mother had called her "Felicity" and not freaking Dolores or Scram, maybe that was because, at some point her parents had wanted her to be that for them? Or maybe it was them being drunk and ironic and thinking they could get a stupid riddle out of the mess they were starting?

Felicity guessed she'd never know. But she was glad that, for one, Lilly had a mother who was happy to have her — even if it had been way too early for her and even if her mother kicked her out of the house for most of her pregnancy.

"Hi baby!" Taylor cooed, jumping over the sofa to catch a few toys on the floor beside the little girl. "Did you miss your momma? Did you? Did you drive grandma Yell-a-Lot nuts? That's my girl!"

Felicity chuckled despite herself and picked up Taylor's handbag to bring it to the living room.

"Taylor, is that you?" came Mrs Young's voice from the next room.

"Yeah! I'm with F Smoak too!"

Taylor's mother stepped into the room, carrying an enormous basket of clean laundry and blinked at Felicity.

"Oh. Hi Felicity, are you staying long?"

Felicity smiled tightly, and shook her head no. Taylor's mother blamed Felicity for Taylor getting pregnant — which both Taylor and Felicity found ridiculous. But Mrs Young had always counted on Felicity's stable personality to temper Taylor's overly outgoing one and keep her out of trouble. Which Felicity honestly tried her best to do. But trying to control Taylor was like trying to control an enraged bull. Sometimes, the best thing you could do was follow the lead and do damage control.

Felicity thought that it was easier to blame the best friend for not keeping Taylor on a tight leash than actually blame Taylor for not being willing to say who the father was. She claimed that she didn't know, didn't remember, but Felicity knew it was only to anger her mother. However, that was the only secret that Taylor had kept from Felicity and she didn't know how else to support her than to keep being her friend – and to secretly host her at her own place while Mrs Young still blamed her daughter and not just Felicity and kicked Taylor out of her place.

"Aunt Felicity is going to stay with us so we can do good homework, right Lilly? Say 'yes, mommy'."

"She's nine months old, T," Felicity snorted awkwardly, "let her grow up. Soon she's going to talk back to you with attitude."

Taylor snorted and settled on the floor, her back against the couch so she could comfortably pick the baby up and smother her with kisses.

"No she won't! She'll never talk back to her momma, no, she won't! 'Cause Aunt Felicity's going to scold her and teach her how to be smart!"

Felicity's face softened and she settled on the floor close to her friend while Mrs Young made a disapproving sound.

"You know Taylor, that's exactly what I said when you were Lilly's age. Look where that got you. Community college. After everything your father and I sacrificed for you."

Felicity cringed while Taylor smirked evilly, but Mrs Young was already gone out of the room, and getting prepared for an important shindig that she was supposed to attend as someone important in the county's community.

So, maybe Mrs Young also blamed Felicity for her daughter's refusal to actually go to college when they could afford different solutions, especially considering the fact that Felicity — whom she'd always considered as a charity case at best — was awaited at MIT with a full scholarship.

And maybe Felicity felt really, really guilty about it.

"Pff the only thing they sacrificed is their reputation as self-righteous judgmental parents," she mumbled.

"Taylor," Felicity whispered, "she has a point. You can raise Lilly and go to college!"

"No. They won't allow it. They want me to go to college far away by myself, and brainwash her for four years and then throw the fact that they were there for me at my face for the rest of my life."

Felicity sighed and dug a few of their books out of their bags, setting everything up on the coffee table in front of the TV. Taylor gave a side eye to the books and grabbed the remote, putting E! on with a sly grin in Felicity's direction. Felicity hated E! She made it a point not to know who celebrities were — they never stayed famous long enough for her to even think it was relevant. By the time she remembered their names, they'd already disappeared into celebrity limbo and she had other stuff to focus on. Like computers. Intel cores. Understanding how the internet worked. How to make a program do what you wanted it to do.

That, to Felicity, was poetry.

Some stupid rich punk peeing on a cop car with his best friend? That didn't even get on her radar.

"Come on, T.! Help me out, here! You don't want to go to class, fine, but at least try to get good grades and read my notes! And I don't have a ton of time before my shift at Frankie's."

But as she pulled her hand back to make Lilly bounce on her, Taylor frowned, seizing a letter that emerged from between two books.

"What is that?" she wondered out loud, opening the letter, Lilly tucked between her chest and her arms.

"Mmh?" Felicity answered, a pencil between her teeth. "Also, don't think I've forgotten that I was promised lemonade."

"Felicity Meghan Smoak, you filthy, disgusting, dirty hypocrite!"

Felicity's eyes flew to meet Taylor's shocked, disappointed look and agape mouth. She blinked in surprise.

"What?"

Taylor picked her daughter and set her up in Felicity's arms decidedly.

"Here, you have Lilly, so you can't be mad or else she'll cry and you'll have to be the one to soothe her so think very carefully of your next words!"

Felicity frowned at the child who babbled happily and gnawed at her fist, unaware of her mother's tension.

"Okay… So I may have skipped a few classes too but how does that make me filthy? It wasn't so I could do stuff with Mark!"

If possible, Taylor's mouth opened wider, and she looked even more appalled than a second ago.

"Wait, you skipped classes and didn't do anything with Creepy and you didn't tell me so I could tag along?"

Felicity tilted her head.

"Hold on, I'm confused. You didn't know?"

"No! How the hell would I know, I'm not the one stalking my friends' attendance records!"

Felicity rolled her eyes.

"I did that _ONCE_, and you know it was to save your ass!"

"Whatever! You skipping class makes you even more of a disgusting, dirty, filthy hypocrite!"

"Wow, you really insist on the unsanitary part of that hypocrisy," Felicity mumbled.

"And I should! I can't believe I've let you berate me on my not going to college! What the hell is that reminding letter from MIT saying they still haven't gotten your YES I WILL ATTEND package when you're supposed to be leaving in a few months?"

Felicity opened her mouth to answer but couldn't find the words, and to her complete surprise, Taylor looked even more angered at her reaction.

"Oh my god you're blushing and you're feeling guilty because you didn't plan on telling me! What the hell are you doing, Smoak? And remember, no yelling because of Lilly!"

Felicity blinked, and gulped, and looked away.

"I'm not going, T," she eventually said.

She didn't yell. The truth was, she'd been trying to talk about it to Taylor for weeks, but she couldn't bring herself to. Who did that? Who was handed a get out of jail free card in the form of an M.I.T scholarship and let it pass?

But, as usual, Taylor didn't let her get away with contrition and obvious unease. Nope. She was going to dig deeper, and force her to open up and Felicity wasn't sure she could.

"Oh like hell you're not!" Taylor growled. "Why on earth would you not go? Can't be because of the money — everything's taken care of!"

"I'll still have some student loans for the living expenses," Felicity argued.

"Which you'll have paid back in three years once you've been recruited by the best companies in the world so that's not an excuse."

"You don't understand," Felicity trailed off.

"Then make me! Fucking make me understand why you're choosing not to go as far away from the life that you loathe right this second! God, Felicity we've dreamed of leaving Vegas for years! You dreamed it even before me! So what changed?"

A look of horror draped Taylor's face then.

"Is it because of _Creepy_?" she asked, spatting his name.

Felicity groaned in anger and decided to put Lilly back in her park because there was no way she was staying calm for this.

"God Taylor, will you leave Mark out of this?"

But Taylor looked offended, and her bottom lip wobbled with stuff that she could just not keep in anymore. Felicity tried to brace herself because it was long time coming — and she still couldn't believe it took Taylor almost a year to speak her mind that much.

"You know why I don't like Creepy? It's not because he probably has a shrine for you in his closet like the crazy chick in that Hey Arnold! cartoon that we used to watch. I mean, it's a little bit because of that, but not the single reason. It's because he's _nice _and boring and he doesn't push you to be better." Taylor brushed her hair out of her eyes angrily, like she always did when she was opening herself up. "You're… You're not nice, you're _wonderful_. You're not boring you're hilarious and awkward. And worst of all, he lets you blend in because he doesn't want anyone else to notice you. And he sulks because MIT has noticed how remarkable you are and he's as aware as I am that the moment you leave Vegas you're not coming back!"

Felicity cast her eyes on the floor, incapable of holding her best friend's fierce gaze.

"I just…"

"So if it's not the money, and if it's not Creepy, there's only two reasons left. Is it me? Are you ditching your dream because of me?"

She couldn't help the flicker of her eyes in Taylor's direction and she knew that she'd triggered the Taylor Tornado of Torment.

"So what, you take pity on me for being a teen mom and you decide you might as well do the same? Settle over here, feel miserable, and think that we'll both stay happy because I made bad choices?"

"You didn't make bad choices," Felicity counters weakly.

"Oh stop it, Felicity! Stop! Stop defending me! I had unprotected sex, and I noticed that I was pregnant too late to get an abortion because I was scared and I wanted the choice taken away from me and now I'm making the best of it! So that means no fancy college for me, but I don't care. I'm going to be happy, dammit! I'm going to love my daughter, and I'm going to raise her better and teach her how to fucking use birth control and neither she or I will be miserable. Not on my watch. And I will be damned if I let you do the same. I might not know what the next four years will look like as far as I'm concerned, but you sure as hell do."

Felicity opened her mouth to say something but found herself gathering her knees to her chest, and lowering her head to hide. She let her brown curly hair curtain her face away from her best friend's unwavering glare.

"What did she tell you, Smoak?" Taylor asked, astonishing Felicity. How could she put so much tenderness and anger in the same sentence? "You can't be ditching MIT because I'm not going. We never planned on even going to the same coast. So that leaves one person who talked you out of it. And honestly, I feel bad that I didn't see it coming. I'm a sucky friend."

"No you're not," Felicity countered once more from between her knees.

Taylor chuckled, and Felicity felt her sink beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"See? You always defend me. What are we going to do about you, Smoak?"

She shrugged. Taylor let a moment pass, and dropped a kiss at the top of her head.

"Come on. What did she say?"

"It wasn't her, technically," Felicity relented. "Kevin was making a crack about something, I don't even remember why — it was obscene and gross — and I quipped back, and he said that he couldn't wait for me to get out of there, and that I'll show less attitude once I'm licking some rich asshole's boots in my fancy school."

She could feel the wave of anger roll off of Taylor but for once she kept quiet. Felicity found the strength to pull her head up and look her best friends in the eyes sadly, struggling to keep tears from gathering in her eyes.

"And it made me realize… What the hell am I doing? Have you met me? What the hell am I going to be doing at the freaking M.I.T? This isn't the Strip on Saturday night! Dealing with drunk assholes and low lives who try to feel you up? I can. Having a normal conversation with super smart kids who have been to private schools and have trust funds? How am I going to fit in? You said it! I'm awkward! I say the wrong thing! I babble when I'm nervous, I make weird innuendoes at teachers!"

Taylor tried to open her mouth, but now that her best friend's dam was opened she quickly understood that there was no way she could get a word in before the rant was over. So she pulled back and grabbed the closest bottle of nail paint she could find, and took Felicity's hand gently.

As usual, the girl didn't even notice.

"And then it made me think about her nagging voice, you know? How she says it? _'You think you're better than everyone, but you'll see, you'll end up just like me'_ and it's true! I think I'm better than everyone — I mean, no, not _everyone_ but most people, yeah! — and I feel terrible because that means I'm not better than anyone, which is true! So that brings me back to the first thought: what the hell do I think I'm doing at the freaking Massachusetts Institute of Technology, me, Felicity Meghan Smoak, daughter of a washed up cocktail waitress and absentee father who had her in high school?"

Felicity stopped then, a little out of breath, and looked at her friend like she had all the answers in the world. Taylor stopped painting Felicity's pinkie and tilted her head sadly.

"When will you stop saying that? You're so much more than your parents' daughter! You're _Felicity Meghan Smoak_, god dammit!" Taylor chanted like it was a glorious song, a broad smile spreading her lips. "You scored a 4.0 GPA throughout high school, you're a loving non-judgmental friend who knows when to push and when to take a step back, you have your friends' backs like nobody else and you talk back to your shady mother's boyfriends like they can't hurt you. You're fun, and you're kind and god you're so freaking smart! You basically raised yourself, Felicity, don't you see it? You know so much about so much stuff! How many kids from your neighborhood stopped even trying when their friends told them they weren't cool? How many of them took down every electronic thing piece by piece to see how it worked inside?"

Felicity's lips spread in a shy smile.

"You think you're not going to fit in M.I.T? I say you're exactly what they need. Quippy, smart chick who can hold out her own? They're not fucking expecting you. And you know what? It'll make it more fun. You should look blonde and super girly and then crush all these nerds with your hot brains!"

"Hot brains?"

"Oh yeah! Even your brains are hot!"

Felicity couldn't help the chuckle.

"You're posting that letter tonight, Felicity Meghan Smoak, and it's not even up for debate. And then, we're going to put a shit ton of porn on Kevin's laptop just to mess with him and make your mom ditch his sorry ass."

Felicity smirked, as Taylor went back to paint her friend's nails.

"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity," she started rhythmically.

Felicity groaned out loud.

"I swear, Taylor you need to stop with that song already."

"To seize everything you ever wanted," Taylor kept going, louder so her voice could cover Felicity's. "One moment, would you capture it or just let it slip? Listen to the words, Smoak. Our prophet, our hero, the best rapper of all times…"

"God T, Eminem's songs are not a Bible for life choices!"

"Ha you should have told me before I got pregnant at sixteen," she quipped and began imitating the tone of the priest Mrs Young made them watch every Sunday morning on TV. "But in your case, just listen to the truth: you better lose yourself in the PC, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go, you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow: this opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo!"

Felicity burst out in laughter at the way her friend had delivered the last lyrics of Lose Yourself. Taylor had been listening to that song over and over for two years, forcing Felicity to make a duo out of it where Felicity was in charge of the chorus.

Man, that poor hairbrush had heard horrible stuff.

"You really_ do_ live for that rap shit."

"Ha what can I do? But you'll see, Smoak. You're going to go to M.I.T and that'll be the beginning of the rest of your freaking awesome life."

Felicity bit her lip worriedly.

"Are you sure?"

"Hell, yeah! Most of your arguments make no sense. There aren't only rich people at M.I.T you know. You're not the only kid who'll be there on a scholarship. And if there are rich ones, make freaking connections! Ditch that Creep of yours and find a rich one. I can see it, you know."

"See what?"

Taylor looked up at the TV screen dreamily, not really watching it.

"Your perfect life. You're going to go to M.I.T and you'll meet some royalty over there."

"Royalty, yeah, that sounds realistic."

"Yeah! Like the king of some unknown country or something. A prince. Or, hey, you know, live the full college experience, go down the lesbian road for a little while and end up with a queen of some sort on your arm."

Felicity took her hand out of Taylor's grip and blew softly at her nails to make them dry faster while her friend went to pick her daughter back from her park.

"Ah, and there we are. Past the realistic line. Me with a queen."

Taylor chuckled with pride.

"Come on, that's the whole point of college! Just promise me you'll make bad choices! Date morons. You know, guys like that dude!"

She pointed at the TV where the same footage from earlier was showing. The same twenty-something rich guy from Starling City was shown peeing on a cop car and laughing drunkenly with another one of his rich friends while being arrested.

Felicity's mouth twirled in disgust.

"Oh hell to the no. I have self-respect."

Taylor shrugged, making an 'oh well' face as she ogled the moron on TV.

"Too bad, but okay, this one, maybe don't date. Or just have a one night stand of some sort. And I'm not saying _him_ specifically you know? That dumbass couldn't get into M.I.T even if his daddy paid the board but he's not the only fish of that kind in the ocean of assholes that is the world."

"Aaaah, spoken like a true feminist."

Taylor made Lilly bounce in her arms, eliciting a happy cry from her.

"And don't let your mother bring you down, okay? Stop listening to her crap and second guessing yourself. A worthy mom wouldn't want their kids to lead the same crappy life as them. I know I want Lilly to make better choices than me and go to M.I.T like her aunt Felicity someday, right baby?" She looked at the girl's bright green eyes like hers, and smiled. "Yes you'll go! Aunt Felicity will tutor you and make you all smart like her! But no dismantling the coffee maker, okay? Otherwise Mommy will go nuts and destroy the universe."

Felicity blinked her emotion away and caressed the little girl's dark hair tenderly.

"I'm scared," she eventually admitted. "What if it's a mistake?"

Taylor's eyes showed no doubt.

"Then it'll be the best one you'll ever make."

They shared a hopeful smile, Felicity's way more emotional than Taylor's who frowned.

"Oh hell no you're not turning into a sap, Smoak! Keep these tears for the actual goodbyes when Lilly and I drive you to the airport in August. Not a single one before!"

"You'll take me to the airport?" Felicity asked, surprised.

Taylor looked offended.

"Of course we will! What, you thought I'd let you go without saying a proper goodbye?" she snorted, then looked at her watch. "It's almost time for your shift, you should go, these plane tickets aren't going to pay themselves!"

Felicity grinned sheepishly, smacked a kiss on Lilly forehead and stuffed her books and the letter in her backpack in a smooth movement. Before leaving though, she stopped in front of Taylor and hugged her as fiercely as she could with the nine-month-old in her arms.

"Thanks, T. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Taylor snorted, but Felicity saw through the façade.

"You'd be a lousy cocktail waitress married to a boring excuse of a man. And you wouldn't have cool nails."

Felicity glanced at her hand with a happy smile, and Taylor tried to hide her nervousness by holding her daughter closer.

"Just… don't be a stranger when you leave for good. I know you're never coming back but… My daughter needs her godmother, okay?"

Felicity couldn't say anything for the longest time. When she finally gulped the lump blocking her throat, she cleared it noisily.

"I'll come back," she said, but deep down, it felt like a lie.

"No you won't. You and I both know there's nothing for you here. And it's totally okay."

"You know there's this software called Skype, it's free. We can talk to each other as often as we want."

Some evil glint took light in Taylor's eyes, making Felicity wary.

"Okay, so since you owe me for lying to my face about almost ditching the opportunity of a lifetime, you'll have to make me a promise."

Felicity cringed. Knowing Taylor, it could quickly escalate into something illegal. "What kind of promise?"

"You'll have to paint your nails a different color every time we talk. I'll do the same. You can't wipe it away even if it's chipped if we haven't skyped."

Felicity chuckled.

"I don't even have nail paint."

Taylor arched an eyebrow and smirked.

"I guess you'll have to invest, then. Or I'll give some of my old ones away. As a parting gift," she added, prompting a laugh from Felicity as she spun on her heels and headed for the door. "Oh, and you have to ditch Creepy."

"Yeah, not gonna happen," Felicity answered through the open door.

"Well you just see, Smoak, you just see!" Taylor shouted, at Felicity's back. "My predictions will turn out to be true and I'll get to tell you I told you so!"

"I'm not doing it with a queen!" Felicity quipped back as she slid in her shitty car.

"That's what you say now but just you wait! Some royalty's gonna see how remarkable you are and you'll be a goner!"

Felicity laughed and shook her head. As she backed out of Taylor Young's front yard that afternoon, Felicity bit her lips. She was going to do it. She was going to M.I.T.

She couldn't believe it.

And then she shrieked at her wheel, hitting it in happiness and disbelief, prompting the radio to actually work for the first time in weeks and the hit song of the year before blasted through Felicity's dying speakers. Usher's smart words echoed in her head, perfectly summing up what she was thinking:

YEAH!

[**NEXT:** Part II — THE M.I.T YEARS]

* * *

**Author's Note:** And that's part 1 for you! Every chapter will have a few easter eggs and a little bit of "Oliver" or Team Arrow in it. I promise Digg and Oliver have their own dedicated parts and will appear in the story.  
Next part will mention a pot brownie incident, a lacrosse player, an industrial piercing moment, and an ear-splitting yell of delight. Until then… Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought!


	2. Part II

**Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites! It seems you guys liked Taylor so that's a good thing because you're going to be seeing a lot of her over the next chapters. She'll get to meet Diggle and Oliver too, but before then we have a few years to (funnily) cover. This one is kind of huge, so I hope it's not too much to digest and that you'll find it funny enough. Have you noticed just how everything happened "freshman year of college" for Felicity? Anyway. I half wonder if they're not going to retcon Oliver and Felicity's relationship in the show, what with him working for A.R.G.U.S and Felicity studying computer science but I couldn't bring myself to do it there because I hate retcons. Anyway.**

**PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS**

**PART II.**

"_So I get you sitting outside my house like that lacrosse player in my freshman year of college_"

— Felicity Smoak, episode 2.16

**MARCH 2006**

Felicity blew a soft breath on her noodle soup as she settled in front of her brand new, very expensive, wonderful computer. Computer that she had paid. By herself. With her own money (working for a bookstore sounded super exciting when you were a bookworm but that turned out being a bit of a let down for Felicity).

She had her dorm to herself for the first time since Christmas, and she couldn't be happier. Her roommate Emma had left for Spring Break to Florida, ready to show off her long toned legs earned with hours of running. Felicity would envy her if she didn't loathe running so much. The only kind of marathon she'd willingly go through didn't involve any form of exercise, only a DVD-player — which, Felicity had made the mistake of telling Emma the first week, leading up to a very awkward conversation.

Felicity jumped when her computer sung the Skype ringtone, and clicked on Taylor's face immediately. A glance at her nails informed her that it was definitely time for a chat — the red color was so chipped it was ridiculous.

"F Smoak!" Taylor shouted.

Felicity winced at the loud sound and held out her hand to switch her soup with her manicure kit on the shelf that loomed over her bed.

"Hey T! How's it going?"

"It's Spring Break! Why does it look like you're stuck in your room and not grinding against a hot guy on some sunny beach?" Taylor screeched, not even bothering with formalities.

Felicity gave her an annoyed face.

"You really thought I was going to change my mind?"

"I hoped against hope!" Taylor grumbled.

"Maybe next year," Felicity commented wryly.

Felicity had made the decision a while ago that she would not be going away for Spring Break. First, because she spent all her money on that wonderful, perfect thing that was currently humming on her thighs (and planned on using it to crush Cooper Seldon that smug bastard from her computer engineering class); second, because she absolutely refused to go get wasted on a beach when she had finals coming up (in the next two months) and an internship to fight for in a big company in Boston. Competition was hard. It was ruthless, exhilarating, stimulating, but it also demanded a lot of personal investment and an amount of time that Felicity was definitely happy to dedicate to learning how to code and hack into stuff. Which, of course, Taylor refused to understand.

The fact that Felicity was on a scholarship and needed to get good grades if she wanted to keep it that way was completely ignored by her best friend who managed to support Felicity and still find a way to whine at the way she'd decided she'd live that year. Felicity was completely fine with her long nights at the library, her endless afternoons in the computer rooms and the early mornings she spent working in her own dorm, to Taylor's complete and utter despair.

"Pft, next year's so faaaaar!" Taylor complained. "You promised you'd live the college experience for the both of us, Smoak!"

Felicity opened her mouth to protest, staring at the camera directly for more effect. From the very first day Felicity spent at M.I.T, Taylor had found a way to try to peer pressure her into attending parties and roamed the internet looking for people Felicity might find interesting (understand: potentially date) at her school. The truth was, at this point, Taylor knew more about the life on campus (never having set a foot there) than Felicity did.

"You know, I went to that party the other day," Felicity started, her tone shifting to full-on annoyance.

Taylor's eyes glimmered with something that Felicity refused to name. She couldn't seriously be living vicariously through her, could she?

"Really? You're not messing with me? You went?" Taylor let out so fast Felicity almost didn't hear the words.

"Yeah," Felicity groaned, while Taylor had already started pestering her with incessant "how'd it go? How'd it go?"

"I almost died choking on a pot-brownie, ended up in the hospital with an angioedema, and now the guy who saved my life by calling 911 thinks he earned the right to sit across my dorm in his car because, and I quote '_that totally deserves a date_'."

Taylor opened her mouth in shock, eyes wide, processing the information, and blinked repeatedly.

"I don't even know where to start!" she sputtered eventually, looking sad at the idea. "You look like you're okay and didn't die. Please confirm that statement."

Felicity rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. Some pre-med chick had an ephedrine shot and went all Pulp Fiction on me. It was so humiliating."

Taylor arched an interested and impressed eyebrow.

"You ended up high from a pot-ephedrine cocktail, at a party, sprawled in your underwear, _and_ found a way to get involved in some sort of girl-on-girl situation?"

Felicity sent her a murderous look.

"It better make that bucket list I know you have for me. That'll have to do because I'm not doing drugs ever again and there's no way I'm attending any more college parties."

"Oh, it totally counts, don't worry," Taylor waved off, ruffling stuff in front of her. "That's _so cool_, I wish I'd been there! Minus the you-almost-dying part, of course."

"Yeah, it was exactly my definition of a blast," Felicity commented sarcastically.

Barely a minute later, Taylor shook a notepad in front of the camera, then took off the cap of a pen with her teeth.

"You made number 9 'getting girl-on-girl action', 12 'being high at a party', 17 'ending up in your underwear at a party', and 34 'ending up in the hospital because of partying too much'. I'm so proud because you invented number 58: 'getting a stalker', which I can't believe I'd forgotten."

Felicity shook her head. She was surprised that "getting girl on girl action" was before "being high at a party" on a list Taylor had invented but then again, her best friend made it sound like she was bored to death back in Vegas, taking care of her one and a half year old while working part-time as a secretary for one of her father's friend and attending night-classes at a community college.

Last time they'd spoken, Taylor had spent an hour showing her the brand-new one bedroom apartment that she could finally afford and had moved into without telling her mother. Felicity had warned her that it was a terrible idea, which Taylor being Taylor had obviously laughed off and done anyway.

Two days later, Taylor had texted her that her mother wasn't talking to her anymore with a ton of smiley faces. Felicity had shaken her head.

"You can't have found fifty-eight barely-legal stuff you want me to do while I'm in college."

"No, like I said, I only found fifty-seven! But fifty-eight's even better! Now onto that stalker situation!"

"Scott's not a stalker!"

Taylor made a disbelieving face and tilted her head.

"What do you call a guy who sits in his car in front of your dorm? Prince Charming? Oh, does he drive a white Porsche? It'd be some sort of white horse then!"

Felicity closed her eyes and sighed. Dammit. Taylor was right: Scott was a total stalker. Which brought a whole new angle to the situation. Until now, Felicity was annoyed but sort of fine with the tall muscly brown-haired guy who sat in his car, grinning confidently at her like he was going to wear her down. She hadn't really given it a thought, figured that he'd stop at some point because he'd grow tired of Felicity's gentle but firm "no thanks" (the truth was, the guy had seen her face completely bloated because of the edema and still wanted to date her: she couldn't help but find that nice of him).

But now that Taylor had actually given a name to his behavior, Felicity felt prickles of unease run up her spine. What if he became angry and dangerous?

"How long has this been going for?" Taylor asked.

"I don't know, four days?"

Her mind was now reeling with possibilities, and trying to find an easy solution that wouldn't get her abducted, abused or, why the hell not, killed. Taylor's mind was obviously focused on something else.

"FOUR DAYS?! Is he cute?"

"What does it matter?" Felicity countered, her fingers pinching her nose.

"Well, if you're going to have a stalker, I'd kinda like it if he was super hot. At least, you could sleep with him before requesting a restraining order."

Felicity stared at her friend.

"Sleeping with him would completely defeat the purpose of making him understand that I'm not interested."

"Because he's not hot?" Taylor insisted.

"It doesn't matter if he's hot or not! He's so stupid, T, you have no idea. Like, I take it as an offense that he's attending the same college as me, that's how dumb he is. He spent the evening talking about lacrosse."

"Lacrosse? Really?" Taylor burst out laughing. "It exists for real? It's not made-up?"

"Oh I wish it didn't exist so he would just _shut up_ about it already," Felicity grumbled. "He thinks he's all that too, it was cute at first but he's so full of himself it's just… Urgh."

"Okay, fine, he was dumb, you deserve better. I kinda wish you'd find someone to replace that Creepy-shaped hole in your heart though."

Felicity clenched her jaw, and looked away.

"You _totally_ slept with McStalker!" Taylor yelled, pointing a finger at the computer.

"No, I didn't!" Felicity countered, offended.

"But something totally happened!"

Felicity rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something but Taylor's face changed and Felicity understood that she would not get away with a lie. Oh well. It was Taylor. She wouldn't judge. Right?

"I didn't know the brownie was spiked," Felicity confessed.

Her best friend gave her a dismissive side-eye.

"Yeah, so? It still counts!"

"Yeah but I… He blind-sided me," she eventually admitted.

"What?" her friend frowned, clearly not understanding.

"His hotness blind-sided me, okay?" Felicity growled. "It's ridiculous but he was so hot I couldn't think nor hear him at first and… and… I didn't care that I couldn't hear him! And then I was bored to death when he spoke but I couldn't stop looking at him, he was just so handsome! So… So I took the first thing to eat that I could to prevent myself from speaking and say something and I completely forgot to be careful about the nut thing and… Stop laughing!"

But she'd lost Taylor. The girl was sprawled before her computer, hiding most of herself to the point where Felicity could only see the top of her head shaking from a never-ending laughter.

"I'm cutting off the conversation," Felicity threatened, upset at being laughed at.

"Oh my God you're a true woman, Smoak! Finally! Your hormones took over!"

"Yeah, in a deadly way," she growled.

"Oh I'm so happy you were swooned and brain-washed by his hotness, I was worried for a moment you were one of these chicks who could live without sex and we had nothing in common anymore."

"Screw you, T."

"Oh, come on! I'm just messing with you! So the hot guy made your head spin isn't that a good thing?"

"It could've been if he wasn't the dumbest person alive, nor currently outside my building."

Now that she came to think of it, didn't he have some sort of training so he could win games? Didn't he want to get laid in Florida with the rest of his friends instead of doing nothing while Felicity kept on living? What the hell was wrong with that guy?

A lot apparently. The fact that he was into her should have been a hint.

"You're really into the creep factor, aren't you?" Taylor joked.

"You're not helping."

"No, like, what is it with you and shady people? First you dated Creepy for like ever, now you have McStalker... You were supposed to date a queen."

"I'd do it with a queen if that meant I was rid of that moron."

"Now you're just teasing me."

Felicity smiled, and shook her head, then thought about the situation again and couldn't help a massive whine of despair. She had other things to do! She couldn't deal with getting rid of a stalker when she had massive projects to lead, research to do for so many classes, and competitions to be involved in.

"What am I gonna do about him, T?"

"The way I see it, there are a lot of solutions. My favorite: outrun him, and go to Florida join the other freshmen. There has to be a lot of grinding."

Felicity rolled her eyes.

"What is it, number one on your list?"

"Eh, you wish," Taylor snorted. "Number one is having a one-night stand, you and I both know you're a looooong way from number one."

Felicity stared at her friend, dumbfound.

"Your number one hope for me is to sleep with a guy just once?" she screeched. "Not to be valedictorian? Not to get a 4.0 GPA? Not to register in the most classes ever?"

Taylor raised an eyebrow.

"What for? You'll do it on your own! You don't need a list for that, you're already dead set on this! Dude, when I told you to take a useless class for fun you didn't pick nude painting or French, you registered in some super serious class about a Spanish King no one's ever heard of…"

"This week focused on the Ominous Decade, it's awesome!" Felicity cheered happily. "Which reminds me, I have a ton of reading to do about it…"

Taylor gave her a pitiful look.

"Your life is just too intense," she said wryly.

"I have a stalker, need I remind you?"

"No need. So we have go to Florida, enjoy your Spring Break like any other normal human being…"

"And I ignored that solution…"

"Your loss. But that leaves: do him, give him a try and get him out of your system. Bonus point: you might just score that number one thing and it'll be one more number off that bucket list…"

"Ew, no, I told you. I'm not rewarding his behavior by sleeping with him! It's wrong on so many levels! And he's stupid. It takes all the hotness out."

Again, Taylor's eyebrow raised on her forehead.

"Says the girl who almost died just so she could tune the sound of his voice out and focus on his beauty?"

"I'm not saying I'm proud of it!" Felicity grumbled.

"Well then that leaves one solution: calling campus security, maybe the police. Or! OR EVEN MORE FUN" Taylor suddenly yelled.

Felicity's heart stopped a second, already bracing herself for the offer that Taylor was going to make.

"Threaten him to hack into M.I.T's mainframe and have him kicked out of the school! Please do that! That'd be so badass!"

The brunette shook her head dismissively, refusing to listen to the endless "pleases" that Taylor was showering her with. But she gave serious thought to calling campus security. She'd try to talk to Scott to see if he'd back off, and call campus security if things threatened to escalate.

"Jury's still in, I'll keep you posted," Felicity waved off.

"Well, just rest assured that if you end up murdered by McStalker, I'll tell everyone about his hotness."

Felicity grimaced.

"I'm not being murdered by a jock with less than half my IQ. I just can't let it happen."

"You'd just have to be blond and then we'd have the perfect pitch for a typical horror movie. 'MEATY PARTY AT M.I.T' would be the title: it'd have the best pun because meat would be the hotness of the guys from the cast and the charred skin that the murderer leaves scattered everywhere… You know what? I'll start right on writing that script."

"Yeah, you do that," Felicity laughed.

Taylor smiled at her friend, calmer then.

"So… if you insist on not having any normal-fun, what are you planning on doing this week?"

Felicity's smile broadened.

"Well I do have to prepare for a test about the Ominous Decade that you dismissed so cruelly not two minutes ago, and then I bought a new computer and I'm going to participate in a hacking competition with a few of the guys."

"Guys? Did I hear guys?"

"It's mostly some other people from my IT study group, there's that goth chick Fanny she's super cool. Not as cool as you don't worry. But it's mostly just an excuse to crush that smug bastard."

"Oooh, Smug Bastard, I like him already!" Taylor clapped her hands giddily, a carnal smile spreading her lips.

"Cooper," she spat and rolled her eyes, mimicking a stupid girl. "_'Coop'_, urgh, I hate him."

"I've repeatedly told you that I'm not interested in names, Smoak. Don't bother. Creepy. McStalker. Smug Bastard. I have all the men in your life straightened in my head with this very efficient technique."

If Felicity had been a bitch, she would have shut her friend up by asking her if that was the reason why she couldn't remember her daughter's father's name. But she knew deep down that Taylor knew exactly who the guy was, and kept his identity a secret from her family. Why, Felicity didn't know, but there had to be a reason.

Also, she knew that if Taylor focused on Felicity's boyfriend traits to give them nicknames (or at least what she thought were the guys' traits), she was really glad Taylor refused to apply her own "technique" for "keeping guys straight in her head". Taylor was really bad with names and preferred cataloguing her guys in "size" order. And in that case size did not mean "height". More like, as she told her once: "the height of their pole". Taylor could be a freaking poet sometimes.

"Cooper's not a man in my life!" Felicity spat. "He's a smug bastard who thinks he knows better than everyone, he's insufferable, and I just can't wait to see his smirk falter when I crush his miserable little weasel face with the overwhelming power of my brains and my wonderful hacking skills."

Taylor closed her mouth in shock, and shivered exaggeratedly.

"Sounds like the beginning of a love story to me."

"Every goddamn story sounds like the beginning of a love story to you."

"Wrong! McStalker sounds like a total freak. Smug Bastard on the other hand… Is he hot?"

"Urgh, come on Taylor! It's like your factory setting. I can't mention a guy without you asking me if he's hot."

"Well, I mean… Maybe you're into weasel faces now."

"I'm not. And he's ugly."

"Ugly 'cause you hate his guts, or ugly because he forgets to shower and shave and change his clothes?"

"You know that most nerds do shower, right? And actually change and are not necessarily socially awkward?"

"Eh, so you only get one of the few traits from the stereotype? The socially awkward thing? Thank god, I don't think we could be friends if you didn't shower."

Felicity rolled her eyes. She was so done with that conversation. She refused to dedicate more time to Cooper (or maybe know she'd actually call him Smug Bastard in her head).

"Has your mom started talking to you again?"

Taylor's face fell, and Felicity understood why she had been such a pain that day. Taylor had suffered so much from her mother's reaction to her pregnancy that she had never really healed and forgiven her initial reaction of kicking her out. Pride ran in the Young family and when Mrs Young had realized her mistake, Taylor had refused to come home. Even though Taylor's father was a wonderful man, he never went against his wife's wishes and did his best to calm things down. He actually gave a huge gift to Felicity when he learnt that she was secretly hosting his daughter. He'd swung by many times trying to talk some sense in his daughter, telling her that if she'd just try to talk to her mother, things would settle down.

The fear of giving birth was eventually what pushed Taylor to accept her mother's offer to come back home. Felicity knew that even two years later, the pain of being rejected by her mother was still a bleeding wound. Felicity could relate. It wasn't like her relationship with her own mother was something of an example.

How To Deal With Being Rejected By Your Family could be the title of Felicity's autobiography. Half of that book would be called 'I don't fit in and it sucks'.

"No," she said simply. "My dad swung by though. Loves the place, wanted to buy me a few things but I know if he does she'll yell. I don't mind her yelling at me. But he shouldn't put up with my shit."

"Just call her, T. Put yourself in her shoes. You left without warning her. How would you react if Lilly did that?"

"I would never kick Lilly out if she got pregnant," Taylor bit out stubbornly. "My mother brought it on herself. She never apologized for making that choice. Not once. I know she regrets it but if she'd just… say it, you know?"

Felicity breathed in hard, wishing her friend was within distance so she could show her compassion and support physically instead of just an expression of her face.

"I know. I wish it was different."

"Well there's nothing you can do about it. Are you coming back here this summer?"

"Hopefully not, I'm trying to get an internship in that company in Boston, something IT-related. It'll have to be part time though because there aren't any paid internships and I need the money…"

"I hear you. Urgh, that sucks. Do you think you'll have another apartment by then?"

"My friend Fanny said she'd be happy if we became roommates so we'll check something out I guess. Why?"

"I was thinking maybe Lilly and I could take a few days off and fly out to visit you? She still can't say your name but she's really excited when I tell her about her Aunt Felicity!"

Felicity's heart warmed immediately at her best friend's words and slightly sheepish smile. Did she really think that Felicity would say no? They might talk as often as possible, but Felicity missed her best friend — her only friend for so long — that she couldn't even imagine saying no to such an opportunity.

"Of course you can come! You'll always be welcome at my place, wherever that may end up being."

Taylor's grin widened and turned into a huge smile.

"Yaaay! I read that there still were some parties on campus during the summer, do you think your friend Fanny is a responsible human being who would agree to babysit a well-behaved almost two year-old for free?"

Felicity burst into a laugh.

"Dude, I'll be juggling between an internship and an actual job. I'm not sure you'll get to hang out with me that much."

Taylor grimaced, and switched to a terrible impression of a southern accent.

"Well, at least you'll come home to a great meal after all that work, woman. It'll be a nice change from the Vegas heat though so yay again! Do you think you'll be free enough to take a bus to New York for a week-end?"

Felicity's heart fluttered. Plans for the summer. With her best friend. In her six months in Boston, she had never taken the time to go visit the Big Apple, even during the Christmas Holidays. She had so much homework, she was so involved in her studies that she'd forgotten that New York was merely four hours away by bus. So far, she had figured that her summer would be spent mostly by herself in her new apartment, coming home from work, then going to her internship, then pass out from exhaustion while she anticipated the classes she absolutely wanted to take the year after.

Knowing that she could let loose a little, and share college memories with her very best friend, maybe introduce her to Fanny too, made Felicity's day.

"Yeah, we'll find a way don't worry."

"Awesome! I can't wait! So do you have interviews lined up for that internship?"

"Not yet. Probably next week or the week after though."

Taylor nodded, then took her own manicure kit out and picked what color Felicity would be wearing. She only had red, brown, and pink but Felicity had been trying to get a little crazy. She'd seen kids on campus wearing a different color on each finger and she'd found herself thinking that maybe she could try it too.

"What is that color?" Taylor asked when Felicity showed her the various colors she now owned.

"Pistachio!" Felicity answered. "It's basically very light green, can you see?"

She put the bottle in front of the camera to show her best friend and grumbled.

"I'm so into green lately, I don't know why."

"Huh, it happens. I had my yellow moment, remember?"

They did their nails, bantering and joking around, then terminated the call after an hour.

Next time they spoke three weeks later, Taylor was delighted to learn that Felicity had indeed, crushed Cooper "Smug Bastard" Seldon at their hacking competition, and that Felicity dressed like Mrs Young when she interviewed for a job. Taylor gagged for fifteen minutes before Felicity could lead the conversation to another topic.

* * *

**JANUARY 2007**

Felicity had complained time and time again that she hated Vegas's dry and hot weather. Last year, she had welcomed the concept of "seasons" with wide open arms, reveling in the change in temperatures, discovering that it could pour rain for days in a row and what winter was supposed to be like. She was basically the only person smiling when it was foggy, laughing when it snowed and happy when it was cold as hell one day and too warm to wear anything but shorts the day after. Felicity had fallen in love with the constantly changing weather of New England instantly.

This year, Felicity had thought that she would share that enthusiasm with her boyfriend Cole. Well, boyfriend, she didn't really know. They hadn't exactly defined the relationship. But they'd slept together for the first time a little over two days ago on their fourth date so that had to have meant something, right? Although, since then it wasn't like they were any closer than before. Which was a bummer. She wasn't a prude or anything, but just a text asking how she was doing would have sufficed to appease her growing worry.

As a kid who's been abandoned by her father and neglected by her mother, Felicity always tried to tamper her anxiety and reining in her fears of being left behind. Just because people didn't give news didn't mean they stopped caring.

She also knew that when a guy didn't call, it usually meant that he was not interested. And if he suddenly stopped being interested after having sex with a girl he used to be really into (like, honestly, _really_ into) before, that could only mean two things: either he'd been disappointed in her prowess in bed (which made her think that maybe there should be a way to give reviews to people you slept with, just for improvement, you know?), or he was an asshole. Sadly enough, one did not exclude the other.

Despite her major issues about being ditched without an explanation considering her past, Felicity was willing to give Cole the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe he had a good reason for not responding to her text. Or calling her.

Which explained why she was currently standing in front of the main door of his frat house, gathering up the courage to knock and talk to him.

Bordering on stalker tendencies (but, to be honest, it was only to save herself some time, looking for him all over campus like a lost puppy sounded more like being a stalker than hacking into Cole's online schedule to know when he might be home and when he was in class for sure), Felicity had found a way to be ninety percent sure that Cole wouldn't have an excuse not to see her.

Also, if anyone really wanted to think about it, he'd started it. Cole was the one who'd registered in the same class as her after talking to her at a friend's gathering right before registration. And he was also the one who kept pursuing her, asking her out with broad smiles, always turning the charm on where she was concerned. She'd gladly helped him out with his homework, laughing at his antics, they'd made out a few times also, but she'd always refused to sleep with him and couldn't bring herself to say yes when he asked her out on dates.

Why did she always say no? Well. She couldn't shake the idea that something was off. A cute and popular guy, being truly interested in her? She couldn't really believe it. Mark had been cute in his own way, and not popular at all which was the reason they had bonded in the first place. But Cole… Cole was different. She'd finally said yes the day after finals, pushed by Taylor who, over the last five months, had gone from obnoxious cheerleader to understanding and supportive friend, to a freak dying from frustration.

Taking a deep breath, Felicity knocked nervously. A few seconds later, one of Cole's brothers that she'd always found ridiculous opened the door and leered at her. Felicity tried to prevent herself from rolling her eyes, to no avail. She just couldn't help it. Boobs. They all just saw boobs instead of women. Not only was it infuriating and degrading, it was also pathetic to know that these men were looked upon as the bright future of America. And yet, most of them seemed unwilling to be more than just a lame cliché. Life was really unfair.

"What up, pretty face?"

Felicity blinked and bit back a depressed sigh.

"Is Cole here?"

The guy looked behind him over his shoulder, his eyes raking over the spacious living room and suddenly yelled.

"Hey! Guys! Someone get me Cole! There's another one begging for him, we'll have to get him a new nickname!" Then he turned to Felicity's blanching face, and smirked. "It should only take a minute."

Felicity clenched her jaw and barely nodded. Another one? Begging? Oh there would be no begging. She hadn't known he'd been dating other girls all this time. He spent a lot of evenings or afternoons with her but not to the point where he couldn't have been seeing other women. Which kind of hurt, because in any case, Cole had not been upfront with her. More and more, she could feel that she had been played. She could also feel the guilt engulfing her. Guilt for giving in when her instincts had told her something wasn't right, guilt for having been fooled, guilt for being one of these girls. She knew better. She was supposed to be a genius, remember?

Abruptly, the door reopened and Cole's dark enticing eyes bore into hers.

"Oh hey Felicity. What's up?"

Felicity opened her mouth, looking for something to say, and reminded herself that she was here to give him the opportunity to prove her wrong. To give him the benefit of the doubt. Screw his stupid brother. She wasn't here to beg. Felicity Smoak never begged. She would never fucking beg.

She wasn't her mother.

"I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee and hang out?"

Cole raised an eyebrow, and he looked… Felicity frowned, because he could not be looking embarrassed, could he? Why would he be embarrassed?

"Yikes," Cole grinned, "awkward. You looked like a smart girl, I thought you'd take the hint."

There was a dumbfounded silence, because for the life of her, Felicity could not find anything to say to that.

"Take the hint?" she repeated.

"Well, you know, I was kinda playing dead. Usually, chicks get it and they either come to yell or they come to plead." He brushed his hair with his hand, acting sheepish but Felicity could tell it wasn't sincere. Her eyes became frozen, as Cole looked struck for a second. "You haven't come to yell, have you?"

She opened her mouth, and realized: it was much worse than him being an absolute asshole. It was him being completely dumb too! Just a pretty face with charm, a guy who thought he had enough wit to get him out of any situation. Which, she'd grant it to him, was probably usually true. But you did not use your wit to play Felicity Meghan Smoak. No, you didn't.

"Trust me, I didn't come here to plead either," she spat. "I thought you'd have the decency to admit that you lied to my face but apparently…"

"Oh, that's what it's about? I never promised anything Felicity."

And he hadn't, technically. She'd just mixed interest and persistence with an actual relationship. Silly her.

"No you didn't. But our entire relationship ended up being all an act, your behavior is basically proving me that I was just another pin over your bedpost and that? You could have warned me about."

Cole had the nerve to shrug and grimace.

"Look, to be completely honest, I really thought it would be different with you. You're a nice girl, you know? It's just… I guess I just liked the chase and the fact that you played hard to get. Made it interesting, you know?"

The sentence, delivered with complete sincerity, knocked the air out of Felicity lungs and burnt so much she found herself laughing cynically. Playing hard to get? She hadn't been playing hard to get. She had self-respect, she'd made him wait and it… It had been all a game. She had been game and he a hunter. She wasn't even worth being a person with feelings. Oh no. She was just there for him to take, for him to use, for him to feel…

Irrepressible anger rose deep within her, something Felicity had never experienced before, and suddenly her fist hurt and there was a sounding yell.

"Aoutch! You bitch you broke my nose!"

And then her leg stroke and there was another yell and when Felicity blinked Cole was bended over, one hand nursing his genitalia, the other one trying to stop the bleeding from his nose all the while letting a long whine of pain.

"CUNT!"

Felicity spun on her heels and shook her head. Her teeth were still clenched. Only then did the tears pool in her eyes.

When she got home, her roommate and friend Fanny was watching Dr Who's first season for the hundredth times, eating cookies and laying upside down on the couch. Her legs were up against the back, her back on the seat, and her head was hanging as she brought the cookies down to her mouth.

Felicity dropped her purse, shrugged off her coat and walked to the couch where she literally fell seated, making Fanny's head bounce painfully against the floor.

"Duuuuuude! Harsh!"

Felicity mumbled a vague sorry, looking at the screen without seeing it for a few seconds before she blinked repeatedly and panic stroke in. Her head fell in her hands and she let out a full-on borderline-hysteric yelp.

What the hell had just happened?

"Ohmygodwhathaveidone!" Felicity freaked, suddenly standing up, eyes wide as saucers, and walking mindlessly towards the freezer. "I'm getting kicked out of M.I.T."

"What?" Fanny said, seating up. "Why?"

"Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't go back to Vegas."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Fanny pressed, looking at her roommate's arm reach blindly in the freezer and finding her pint of mint chip ice cream.

The lid was opened and dropped on the floor, a spoon the size of Nigeria taken out of a drawer, as Felicity kept on mumbling "whathaveidonewhathaveidonewhathaveidone" non-stop.

"You're leaving snow everywhere… If you at least mopped every once in a while…" Fanny grumbled in annoyance as she got up and walked towards Felicity's coat.

She dipped her hand in Felicity's pocket and retrieved her cellphone, pressing the number one on her speed dial.

"So many news so soon?" was the quick response.

Fanny grimaced — she found her roommate's best friend exhausting. But she couldn't deny that Taylor had a soothing effect on her rambling and awkward friend. She had met the young woman over the summer, and heard enough Skype conversations between the two over the past few months to know that only one person could get Felicity out of her shell, out of her head, and actually talk about herself and voice her fears.

Fanny did not consider herself a people person (people had opinions, computers didn't) but she actually really liked Felicity who was obviously going through something. Also, she wanted to get back to her show as soon as possible and she had a feeling it would take a while if she didn't call in the reinforcements.

"It's not Felicity, it's Fanny. Felicity's currently freaking out. I can't get through to her."

There was a surprised silence for a few seconds, then Taylor spoke.

"How freaked out is she?"

"I can't make out her words, she keeps ranting about how she's getting kicked out of M.I.T, and I don't care what Felicity says about her metabolism, that pint of ice cream is _not_ meant to be eaten that fast."

"Eh, you'd be surprised about her metabolism. Do you think she's high?"

Fanny looked at her friend's watery eyes as she stared at her empty spoon and shrugged, forgetting that Taylor couldn't see her over the phone.

"I don't think so. I mean… She'd be loosening up, not freaking out, surely, right?"

"Okay, this is useless, I'll take it up from here. Thanks for calling, pass her the phone!"

Fanny shrugged again, and did what she'd been told, handing the phone wordlessly to Felicity who took it more out of habit than full awareness. She pressed the phone against her ear and dug the spoon deep in the box, still thinking everything over.

"F Smoak?" Taylor's voice broke through her haze of panic and at the sound, Felicity's dam broke. The tears didn't just pool anymore. They ran down her cheeks endlessly. Taylor's heart dissolved in pain. "Aw, Smoak, go to your computer and call me, okay? Tell me what happened."

Felicity used the laptop on the coffee table to load Skype as she started rambling.

"I think he was right. I think I broke his nose. He's going to press charges and then I'll be kicked out of M.I.T and I'll have to pay for his stupid nose, and I'll have to go back to Vegas and work with my mom and use my tips to pay back all these loans and…"

The panic that had subsided a little when she'd started crying came back immediately. Holy shit. This couldn't be happening. She'd worked so hard to get where she was, she had done everything right so far. She'd never even been violent before! What the hell had gone over her? So he'd insulted her? He wasn't the first! (sadly, he also probably wouldn't be the last) She couldn't go around knocking people's teeth out just because they'd treated her like shit.

Or, at least, she couldn't do it when she was a poor student, only granted the honor to study in an amazing college because she was on a scholarship that she had worked her ass off to obtain and…

She had too much pride. She couldn't go home to Vegas when she'd made such a big deal about leaving. When she'd decided two years ago that the day she left it was for good, it was to leave for better things.

Whatever. She'd lie to her mother. She'd live somewhere under a bridge, maybe. Maybe not in New England though, 'cause as much as she'd been appreciating winters so far, she didn't think she could handle an actual winter if she didn't have a home to go to.

"Slow down! Slow down! Whose nose did you break?"

"Cole's," Felicity answered, her voice suddenly cold and calm.

"Cole?" Taylor's disbelieving voice echoed. "Cute Cole? Who's been sweeping you off your feet since September? That Cole?"

"Yeah."

There was a confused silence over the phone, during which Felicity brought another spoonful of ice cream to her mouth. The salty taste of her tears mixed with the delicious sugar and Felicity was surprised to find that she actually liked it. Which made her feel even more pathetic. What the hell? She was losing her dream over anger management issues and pride and she was thinking about salt from tears and ice cream? What was wrong with her?

"Doesn't he like you though? Why would he press charges? I'm sure it was an accident."

"Oh, it wasn't an accident."

The Skype session started, and soon enough, Taylor's face appeared on screen and Felicity ended the phone call. In the background, Felicity could see Lilly seated on her stool, drawing ugly pictures that she'd have to pretend to be really impressed about.

"You broke his nose on purpose?" Taylor deadpanned, both impressed and baffled.

Next to her on the couch, Fanny's face expressed exactly the same emotions. Felicity frowned.

"I wouldn't say it was on purpose either, to be truthful." Her eyes widened again, as she recalled what had happened next. "I think I kneed him in the groin too."

"Holy shit Smoak! I… Wow! Didn't know you had that in you!" Taylor said.

"Neither did I. I… He just…" Felicity stammered.

"What the hell happened? What did he do?"

"We slept together and he told me he didn't call back because I wasn't entertaining anymore since I was no longer playing hard to get. Which apparently pissed me off to the point where I blacked out and punched him in the face, then mashed his family jewels."

There was no amusement in Felicity's bland voice, but Taylor blew a long, impressed whistle.

"Again: holy shit, Smoak! All this time, no one wanted us in their team during P.E but they didn't know what they were missing!"

Felicity shrugged and the tears started to fall again.

"He's going to press charges," she repeated, eyes empty.

"I highly doubt it," Fanny intervened.

Felicity's head perked up, and she turned the laptop so Taylor could see Fanny talk. The auburn-haired girl shrugged and shook her head dismissively.

"Guys like Cole, they're all talk but no game. He's dumb enough to think he's a man because he sleeps with girls and ditches them. He's not man enough to admit to a cop to having been beaten up by a girl. That's his mistake, but I think you're totally safe."

Felicity grabbed a tissue from her pocket and shook her head too.

"I can't lose my scholarship. I just… I can't. It's the first time I'm actually happy somewhere, I… I can't lose this. Independence. Fun. Learning interesting stuff. An actual future. I'm fitting in for the first time! Oh my god. I'll go apologize to him right now."

She stood up but Taylor opened her mouth before she could take one step.

"Don't you dare Felicity Smoak! Don't you dare apologize! He behaved like a douche, he's treated like a douche! That'll teach him! Maybe next time an awesome woman shows him the slight interest he'll actually know that he should just be glad and honest."

"He's lucky I'm into girls," Fanny added, her voice as bored as usual. "Honest to God, someone pursues me for months only to treat me like crap when I sleep with them, I'll use my skills to make their life hell."

"I mean," Taylor perked in, "don't let that stop you, you know. You being into girls and all. Maybe you could team up with Smoak and defend all the other girls he didn't treat right?"

Felicity blinked and held up her hands.

"No! No, no, no, no, no. We are not starting some feminist vigilante team! Vigilantism is so outdated. No. I broke his nose. I probably neutered him too, the way he was crying, so I think I've avenged my honor. Seriously guys. We're not going through with this."

"What if you're kicked out?" Fanny asked, her eyes shining with ideas to make Cole pay.

"You said I wouldn't!" Felicity protested.

"I mean, what's a little intimidation, just to make sure he doesn't get any ideas?"

"Yes!" Taylor approved.

"Fanny!" Felicity yelled at the same time. Then she turned her head to Taylor, who was already fist-pumping some cheering mantra. "No! I said _no_. What kind of example are you setting for your daughter? He's not going to say anything. I was dumb enough to fall for his tricks so we're even now. I appreciate the support but no. If he doesn't do anything, then I'll be lucky enough to get away clean and finish up my higher education and I swear I'm not taking any of it for granted. I'm, like, enjoying the whole thing from now on."

Taylor stayed quiet, pondering Felicity's last words while Fanny shrugged and waved the situation off.

"As you wish," Fanny pouted. "Too bad, I wanted to use that hacking technique we studied with Coop'."

"Well, do it on someone who actually deserves that wrath. Someone from the KKK or something."

"Does that mean you'll actually go somewhere with people for Spring Break this year?" Taylor cut, ditching the topic of Cole.

Felicity finished wiping her tears away with the tissue, wincing when she stuck it in her eye as she frowned, caught off guard.

"What?"

"You said you'd actually 'enjoy the whole thing', your words, not mine. Does that mean you'll go on Spring Break this year?"

Felicity opened her mouth.

"Baby steps? Plus, it's too late for this year. But maybe next year. Most definitely the year after."

Taylor raised an eyebrow and gave her an unimpressed look.

"That's your definition of 'enjoying the whole thing'? Going to Spring Break once on your Senior Year?"

Felicity swallowed, but said nothing.

"Hey, did Lilly finally get my Christmas present?" she deflected.

Taylor didn't change her expression, not at all surprised by her friend's reaction. She rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed, then sighed.

"Hold on a minute, okay?"

Taylor left the room quickly, letting Felicity keep an eye on her oddly well-behaved daughter. Felicity never thought that a kid with half of Taylor's DNA could be this quiet and obedient. But she had to give it to her friend, her child seemed happy and very well cared-for. She had spent part of the summer at Felicity's and hung out with the adults and even celebrated her second birthday in Boston.

Barely a minute after, Taylor came back on the screen, carrying the wrapped gift that Felicity had sent weeks earlier and apparently gotten lost in the process. Taylor grinned happily.

"This should lift up your spirits!" she said, making Felicity smile already. "Lilly, come here honey!"

Instantly, as if she'd been eavesdropping on the conversation the whole time (which, now that she thought about it, she must have been and god, Felicity hoped she hadn't understood anything), the two-and-almost-a-half-year-old stood up from her stool and ran to the computer.

"Hey, remember when Santa came in the other day?" she asked her daughter, who nodded excitedly. "And you opened all these great gifts under the tree? Well, turns out Aunt Felicity's got a gift for you from Santa! And look what just arrived today!"

"YAAAAAYY!" Lilly positively screamed, her eyes shimmering with sparkles of excitement.

Felicity startled, and heard Fanny jump in surprise behind her.

"Hot damn, what was _that_?" she grumbled.

The very quiet child turned into a raging monster in an instant. One second Taylor held the very pretty gift that Felicity had wrapped with love and patience so it would look adorable, the next Lilly had snatched the box from her mother's hands and torn the beautiful paper apart in one swift move that reminded Felicity of an attacking snake.

The change was scary. And the scream of delight that followed the moment when Lilly recognized just what exactly the gift was split everyone's ears. The three women were left with ringing ears and their eyes wide opened in utter shock.

"Look Mama! LOOK!" she yelled. She showed the puzzle of Ariel the Little Mermaid and the book that went with it and screamed, pointing at the smiling face of the mermaid. "PRINCESS! LOOK!"

"I'm looking!" Taylor responded quickly, as Lilly discarded the wrapping paper and sat right where she was on the floor to open the plastic of protection, resorting to using her teeth when her little fingers fumbled too much.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said she liked the Little Mermaid," Felicity deadpanned.

"'Like' doesn't cover it, Smoak. I fall asleep to the sound of 'kiss the girl' and wake up to her nightmares about Ursula. I'm exhausted and I hate my mother for introducing her to the movie in the first place."

"Read story Mama!" Lilly demanded, nudging the book against her mother's leg.

Taylor sighed.

"Did you really have to give her the book of the Disney version? She has the movie, you know."

"Oh, come on! You know it's better to read bedtime stories to kids, it's good for them on so many levels it's not even…"

"Yeah yeah, I know. You do realize that she has too short an attention span to actually listen to the entire story, right?"

"You don't have to read it right away!" Felicity countered, while Lilly wouldn't stop nudging the book to get the story.

"Right, like she's going to _wait_," Taylor snorted. "Lilly, what do we say to Aunt Felicity for forwarding Santa's gift?"

The little girl stood up instantly, jumping on both her feet in a move that made Felicity envious, and stuck her head to the webcam, smiling with all her little teeth.

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU AUNT FLEETY!"

"You're welcome," Felicity beamed.

She'd spent the two weeks that Taylor and Lilly had spent at her place trying to teach the kid how to pronounce her name properly, to no avail. Deep down, Felicity knew that her name wasn't easy to pronounce (much less for someone who was barely turning two), and she'd also quickly understood that Lilly had figured out that it annoyed her to no end that she was messing up and made no effort to make it better.

So Felicity had dropped the whole thing altogether, thinking that it'd work itself out eventually. After all, Aunt Fleety was kind of cute, wasn't it?

As quickly as she'd come, Lilly gathered her gifts and stomped off to her stool where she dropped her things and proceeded to peruse through the book and do the four-piece puzzle at the same time. Obviously, the task turned out to be really difficult.

"Well, I should be left alone for a good while I guess now… Thanks for that."

"You're welcome too," Felicity repeated, grinning. "You were right, you know. It did lift my spirit. She's a good kid. You certainly gifted her with powerful lungs."

"Heh," Taylor snickered. Then she bit her lips in a typical tell that something was bothering her. "I… Look, I'm sorry, Smoak."

Felicity frowned.

"What are you sorry for? That was awesome! Thanks for letting me see her reaction!"

"No. I mean… It's… You told me from the get go that you were good with being just friends with Cole and I was the one to push you to get to the next level. I shouldn't have, I'm really sorry."

Felicity's throat tightened, but she managed to swallow the lump of her own guilt and disappointment.

"It's not your fault. He obviously was never interested in being just my friend. If I'd told you a definite 'no way in hell' you wouldn't have pushed."

Felicity sighed, and wiped a worried hand over her face. The panic that had disappeared was seeping back viciously, like an insufferable venom.

"Are you sure I shouldn't go apologize publicly? Or at least offer to pay for his nose job?"

Taylor had a hard time keeping herself from outright laughing (which Fanny didn't even try to do), then sighed.

"I honestly think you'd give him ideas. He won't think about pressing charges, trust me. He's a frat boy. He's got his pride. Don't sweat it. I'm sure it's not the first time he got punched. Or maybe it was. But just think of it as justice."

Felicity frowned, her face closed off.

"I really don't believe in violence to prove your point or get through to someone."

"And if your scholarship wasn't on the line if it suddenly came to him to press charges or mess with you, I would be all for you being the better person. But he hasn't registered in any of your classes this term, has he?"

Felicity shook her head no.

"Then chances are you won't ever have to see him again. He's licking his wounds, probably cursing you, but he won't do anything against you. Drop it. Forget about the whole thing, put it behind you."

Felicity gnawed her lip, anxiously.

"It's like it's opposite day, you know," she mused suddenly. "I mean, usually I'm friend zoned by hot guys and I just stare at them wishing they'd be interested and they're never interested because I'm _'such a great friend'_, you know?"

Taylor rolled her eyes but indulged her.

"And this time," Felicity kept going, "he acted like a friend, and stopped being interested once we slept together. Do you think I'm actually so bad in bed that it cancels out everything that might make me interesting?"

Taylor's jaw dropped, and she legit choked on her anger, while Fanny burst out in laughter. Felicity spun and shot a murderous glance at her roommate.

"What?" she said. "He said he thought he'd be able to settle and bam, I sleep with him and suddenly he's playing dead. There might be a link."

"Oh god," Taylor grunted. "That's it, I'm gonna come right there and punch that asshole in the face myself."

Fanny shook her head.

"Felicity, stop immediately," her roommate ordered, still smirking dejectedly. "This right here? This is 'Being a Manipulative Dick 101'. Of course he's going to say it's your fault. Of course it's because your body and the way you move in bed can't fill the shallowness that is his life, and the emptiness that is his heart. He's a dick. He's a child. He's an utter moron. He's laying the groundwork for other assholes to exploit your insecurities. Don't let him. No one is terrible in bed, it's impossible. People are either scared, insecure, or incompatible."

Felicity gulped, as Taylor clapped vigorously.

"WHAT SHE SAID!" she added. "Hear, hear! Oh I wish I had tequila to cheer to this."

Felicity couldn't help a smile, prompting a devious smirk to Fanny.

"And, you know, if you're that worried, I guess I could be talked into sleeping with you. You know, for your sake."

Felicity barked out a laugh, knowing full well that Fanny was messing with her.

"Awww, that means a lot! Thank you."

"Anytime," Fanny winked at her.

Felicity turned to face the screen again, and pulled a little face.

"You guys are right. I mean… In general, I tend to not go after the guys that I want. Remember Garrett, junior year? Turned out he was interested and I thought it couldn't happen…"

"Garrett? Was that Sweet Buttocks?" Taylor asked.

Felicity rolled her eyes. "Yes! Anyway. It's not your fault. I wanted to believe that he was a good guy when deep down I could feel that it wouldn't work. You know… At least I took a chance, right?"

Taylor smiled broadly, a smile that reminded Felicity of Lilly.

"Exactly. You took a chance. Never stop taking chances, Smoak. And when you make mistakes, you can always hack yourself into the assholes' lives and ruin them from the inside."

Taylor's grin turned positively evil, making Felicity laugh.

"Also, I'm glad you're happy here. Remember that freak out you had at my place before saying yes to coming here? Thinking you'd never fit in?"

Felicity felt her cheeks blush, but kept on chuckling. She'd never thought, the way her day had been going, that she'd be laughing and feeling good within a few hours. She was lucky to have Taylor. To have Fanny too.

"I'm not always right, I guess."

"Nine times out of ten is still pretty impressive, don't worry. I'm still waiting on you to meet some royalty."

Felicity grinned.

"Well, I looked it up. There is no queen attending M.I.T."

Taylor burst into laughter.

"Well! Maybe not M.I.T then. Maybe after that."

"Ha! Let me finish my education first! We're not there yet."

Taylor smiled, tilting her head.

"We're not there yet indeed."

* * *

**JUNE 2008**

"SURPRIIIIIIISE!" Felicity screamed as Taylor opened her door widely, wearing only a beautiful, silky, completely see-through camisole.

Eyes bugging out of her face, Felicity couldn't help but tilt her head on the side, step back, and blink repeatedly. "Surprise for the both of us apparently!" she added, covering her eyes.

"SMOAK?" Taylor screeched, as shocked as her best friend. "YOU'RE BLOND!"

Completely undeterred, Taylor pushed the door fully open and threw herself at Felicity, hugging her so fiercely her breath stopped.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

The rest was a bunch of "oh my god"s mixed with "I'm so happy"s that prevented Felicity from reminding the young woman of her state of undress.

"Can't. Breathe." Felicity managed to utter after what felt a minute.

"Oh, sorry! Sorry! What are you doing here, you sly fox? AND YOU'RE BLOND NOW!"

Felicity grinned happily, passing a hand in her newly dyed hair, as Taylor did the same in wonder.

"Can we talk about that when you're not burning my brain with your unmentionables?" she smirked, arching an eyebrow. "Were you expecting someone or is it the new casual trend in Vegas?"

For the first time in a very, very long time (she couldn't even remember when that time was, frankly), Felicity saw Taylor blush timidly, and gnaw at her lips. Now, her interest was definitely piqued.

"So I was supposed to have a hot date tonight."

"Hot date?! You never said you were seeing someone!"

Felicity should have been offended but the truth was, she wasn't exactly upfront with her friend either. Felicity had started a friends with benefits relationship of sorts with her enemy Cooper "Smug Bastard" Seldon for the past few months and hadn't come around to telling Taylor. She knew her friend would have questions, or would shove in Felicity's face that she'd called it, and the truth was, Felicity couldn't explain what the hell was going on between the two. She didn't even like Cooper. He really was a smug bastard. But they had so many projects together and there were so many tensions to release… Nope, to this day, Felicity still couldn't explain why she was sleeping regularly with Cooper.

So yeah. She could understand why Taylor wouldn't tell Felicity about sleeping with a guy.

Since giving birth, Taylor had been on a few dates but she always complained that it was difficult for a young single mother to find a guy interested in her, because Lilly and her were a package deal. Either they were freaked out by the fact that she had a child (was she looking for a new daddy?) or the fact that she was a mother prevented Taylor from the freedom of going out whenever she wanted. All in all, Taylor had enjoyed what she could, and never really complained.

The fact that Taylor hadn't been vocal about this new guy meant everything to Felicity. The key to understanding Taylor Young was to listen when she wasn't speaking. Everything she said was for show, shock value, or just humor. Everything she didn't say, or barely voiced where men were concerned, was worth knowing.

If she hadn't mentioned him, this could only mean one thing. This guy mattered.

"Well… You know how I get," Taylor confirmed. "I didn't want to jinx it."

Felicity smiled warmly, and kissed her friend on the cheek.

"Looks like you're going to jinx him, you minx," Felicity joked, punching her friend's shoulder slightly. But she couldn't hide the disappointment she felt knowing that she'd screwed up her own surprise. She should have called. She knew better than to be spontaneous. "Well, I'll let you to it, then. I'm here 'til Sunday, so if you're free tomorrow…"

Taylor's eyebrows rose on her forehead, and her arm jerked out to grab Felicity's who was already spinning on her heels.

"What? No way! You're not leaving! Lemme put a rain check on all of this, and then I'm all yours. _'I'll let you to it'_, she says," Taylor mocked, "_'if you're free tomorrow'_, she says. Give me two seconds, then I want the whole explanation for this miraculous sight."

Taylor was already walking towards her phone, dragging Felicity inside with her, and began texting furiously.

"Where's the monkey? How has she not jumped me already?" Felicity asked, looking around, seeking the little girl.

Taylor gave her a side eye.

"At my parents', dummy. I don't make it a habit to parade around my three year old in my 'unmentionables' as you said while waiting for a guy so I can get some. I'm no mother of the year but give me a little credit."

Felicity shrugged, perusing through a magazine laying on the kitchen counter. "Never bothered my mom."

"My point exactly," Taylor deadpanned.

"So… who's the guy?"

Taylor half-shrugged mysteriously, finishing up her texting. Soon enough, her phone beeped with a response, prompting another set of furious messaging.

"No one worth mentioning for the moment. Either he's a good guy and you'll learn his name in a few weeks, or he'll turn out to be an ass and you'll know his number."

Felicity chuckled. Typical Taylor.

"Fine. You sure you don't mind? I wouldn't want to get between you and your libido."

Taylor snorted. "Don't worry about me." She put the phone down and turned towards her bedroom door to change. "When did you get here?"

"I just landed actually. You're my first stop. And hopefully my last."

"Aaaah!" Taylor exclaimed. "The prodigal daughter comes back and doesn't visit her mom. Typical biblical drama."

"You've never actually read the Bible, have you?" Felicity laughed. "She doesn't call. I think she's still upset that I left. If she knew I was here, she'd want me to stay at her place, and she'd be… her, you know? And, considering what I have planned for this week-end, I'll get her hopes up."

Taylor's head perked from the door left ajar in curiosity.

"Now you're getting _my_ hopes up. What _have_ you planned for this week-end?"

Felicity's grin turned evil.

"I'm here to keep a promise I made you when we were thirteen, T."

Taylor's eyes literally started sparkling with glee.

"I want you to say it," she ordered, her voice shaky with barely contained happiness.

Felicity's lips spread into a blinding smile, her own eyes mirroring Taylor's as she dug her hand in the pocket of her jacket.

"Taylor Young. Will you spend my last night as a law-breaking twenty-year-old illegally drinking and partying with me?" she asked solemnly, shaking her fake ID in front of her.

The sound that came out of Taylor was a mix between a screech and a sob, as she ran to tackle her friend on the nearby couch.

"YES! Yes! Yes! I thought you'd never ask! I thought we'd never get to do this! YES! Felicity Meghan Smoak: you rock, you rule. I bow before your awesomeness! Does this mean what I think it means?"

If possible, Felicity's smile spread even wider.

"You have carte blanche. We'll celebrate how you deem fit."

The glint that was in Taylor's eyes would have scared Felicity if she didn't know her friend. Truth was, it should have scared her precisely for that reason.

"Is there something that you really wish for your birthday?" Taylor asked.

Felicity shrugged shyly. "I mean, if I wasn't such a wuss about needles, I'd get one of these industrial piercings, you know? Like, right there, on my ear. Wouldn't that look badass?"

Again with the sparkles in Taylor's eyes.

"Oooooh I was thinking of a stop at the tattoo artist but this is even better!" she exclaimed.

Felicity laughed, hoping to deflect the idea. "I'm terrified of needles. There's no way in hell I can go through a piercing."

Taylor grinned and walked toward the freezer, opening it up proudly.

"I have just what you need to ebb that fear away."

She took the bottle of Patrón out, and shook it accompanying the gesture with a dance. Taylor's eyes really should have scared Felicity. The next morning, Felicity woke up on the bathroom floor, hugging the toilet, with a terrible pain in her right ear and a splitting headache, while Taylor's sleeping form faced her as she laid apparently comfortably in the bathtub.

An epic birthday night it was indeed. Not that they remembered much about it. That's how Felicity spent her first day as a 21 year-old nursing a massive hangover, eating birthday cookies and watching The Little Mermaid with her sick best friend and her snuggly goddaughter.

* * *

**MARCH 2009 **

Felicity blinked, and bit back a moan of annoyance at the sun that was shining behind her eyelids, her hand fisting the sheet underneath her skin. Her head was slightly pounding. She was thirsty as hell.

And she was pretty sure she was naked.

Felicity blinked once more, startled by the realization, and turned her head slowly as the memories from the night before came back to her. She remembered vividly seeing a very, very hot mixed-race guy with the most perfect black skin and most mesmerizing grey eyes she had ever seen in her entire life.

And now, that guy was still sleeping beside her in a motel room that was neither hers nor his. And she'd slept with him. She had totally slept with him. She didn't know how she'd seduced him (or maybe he'd seduced her? Does it count when you're seduced in just one look?) but she remembered his unwavering stare, the way he was just eating her up with his eyes, smiling enticingly at her until she found herself walking slowly towards him, mirroring his smile.

Felicity gathered the sheets to hide her nakedness, eyes already seeking her underwear and flimsy dress. She didn't know why she was suddenly so shy. Because she certainly hadn't been shy the night before.

She wouldn't say she had been smooth (Felicity was anything but smooth) but for once, her weird rambles full of sexual innuendoes had been completely welcome and very useful. The glint of desire and interest in the beautiful man's eyes had only grown every time something inappropriate came out of her mouth.

Because when Felicity Smoak was tipsy (okay, maybe a little bit more than tipsy) she really went all in. She was pretty sure she'd told the guy that he was the hottest six times ("I mean, just… woooooowww"). Apparently, that wonderful technique worked. Who knew that say "wow" for seven seconds straight was considered a flirting technique? She didn't.

Slowly, as quietly as possible, Felicity slid out of bed and grabbed her underwear that she put on, her eyes never leaving the very still form of the hot guy. She grabbed her dress (which was cut) and put it on, grabbing her shoes and her purse then tiptoed out of the room quietly, looking lovingly and proudly at the man who hadn't moved an inch since she'd woken up.

The door closed, Felicity opened her purse, put her sunglasses on because damn, that headache wasn't going away without an Ibuprofen or an aspirin, then took her cellphone out of her purse.

She had four texts and two missed calls.

**Good choiiiiiice that dude is hot!** from her friend Melissa at 11 pm. Felicity smirked. She'd been too busy flirting with him, she had forgotten about her phone for the first time in her life.

**Are u comin back to the room or gettin laid? **At 1 am from Melissa once more, and the fact that the American Literature major had dropped the "g"s and written "you" with a letter meant that she'd passed the "drunk" level.

**Frlicyty w,re bqck qt the rom whhere r u?** had been sent at 5 am. There was no doubt that Melissa had been plastered when she'd texted, and Felicity's heart warmed at the thought that even drunk off her ass her friends were still worried about her.

Felicity was pretty sure her hot guy and herself had fallen asleep around 5:30 (not that she'd looked at the clock). It was now 8, and she was pretty sure she'd been woken up by the vibrations of her phone.

**Not cool not to call. We're worried over here. **

That was the last text, received at 7:57. Melissa had also tried to call her once at 5, and another time right after that last text. Felicity sighed, trying to pinpoint exactly where she was, remembering that neither had driven. They'd paid for the closest motel room, impressed that there was an establishment that wasn't fully booked. Fate had worked for them, for once.

Felicity sighed and texted Melissa back, telling her that everything was fine and that she was coming back to her and their friends. After a slight hesitation, she also asked if she had anything for a headache.

Felicity started walking, her phone clutched in one hand, her purse and shoes hanging limply from the other one. She couldn't help smiling, thinking back about the night. She couldn't help it. She pressed number one on her speed dial and didn't have to wait long before the person picked up.

"What the hell are you doing up at 8 during your Spring Break, Smoak? I'm at work, I have an excuse. You don't."

Felicity pondered the question, wondering where she could even start. In the end, her heart and her body chose for her: the sigh she let out was something a fourteen year old watching her crush walk down the hall would exhale.

"Taylor, it was _perfect_," she said breathily.

There was a surprised silence on the other end of the call.

"What was?"

"I met a guy yesterday. And our entire night was… it was what you see in movies, and shows. It was… I can't even begin to…" she trailed off, dreamily, replaying parts of the evening in her head and blushing despite herself.

"Wow!" Taylor whistled. "That good?"

"And even better. He was… I can't even tell you. It was the most perfect night ever. I wish I could relive it."

"Hot damn, Smoak. You're calling me during you walk of shame at Spring Break? My dreams for our friendship have all come true. This, right here, is the ultimate college experience. I'm so proud."

Felicity felt feverish with giddiness. And so relaxed. Man, she felt SO relaxed.

"Happy to oblige."

"You're going to see him again then?" Taylor pressed curiously.

"No," Felicity grinned. "No. Such perfection can never be reproduced. It wasn't the point. It was a complete live-in-the-moment kind of night. I think we both felt it, you know?"

Felicity could practically hear her best friend blink confusedly on the other side of the phone.

"Are you saying you just had a one night stand?"

Felicity thought it over, startled. Huh. She hadn't thought of it that way until now. It had been so natural, so great between them, she hadn't even realized it would end up being a one night stand. She really didn't think she was the kind of girl who could do that.

But then again…

"I think I'm saying that, yes. How fitting that I'm scoring that number one off your bucket list in the most perfect way, with the most perfect night I could dream of. He was so respectful. So tender, so loving."

"Dude, stop you're making _me_ tingly," Taylor laughed. "How fitting indeed… Are you sure you don't want to pursue that? I mean…"

"We didn't exactly talk, you know? I mean, we sorta did, but it wasn't anything serious or deep, or anything. I know virtually nothing about him, not even his major. Not even his _name_!"

There was a quiet moment where Felicity could completely picture Taylor's dumbfounded face.

"You don't know his name? How do you not know his name?"

Felicity shrugged, even though it was useless since Taylor couldn't see her.

"It didn't seem relevant. I'm telling you. We could both feel it. And if I saw him again, the idea I have of him would stumble and fall."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Felicity chuckled. She didn't know if the giddiness and overall peppy feeling she was experiencing was remnants of her drunkenness or due to the four orgasms she'd had throughout the night.

She was feeling philosophical.

"You know how when you meet someone, you have this idea of them immediately? Like, they're going to look some way and you're going to put them in a category and once you learn stuff about them they don't fit into that category anymore?"

"Yeeeaaahhh?" Taylor said slowly.

"He fits into the Insanely Hot category. And, knowing yesterday would be our only night, we gave everything we got and it was just awesome. I wish I could make up a word for how awesome it was. But if I see him again, I know I'll be disappointed. He probably won't fit the idea of him that I built in my head. Maybe he's usually not that good in bed. Maybe he speaks badly to his girlfriends. Maybe he's a complete dumbass. Maybe he's not even going to college and has lied his way through Spring Break. You know what I mean?"

"This is a very weird way to think, but I'm following yeah."

"I don't want to be disappointed. I don't want to have this night altered because of what comes next with him. It was perfect, Taylor. It was perfect, and I wouldn't want it any other way."

Taylor chuckled, and Felicity was pretty sure her friend clapped in the background.

"Wow. So we're calling him Perfect Night and we're both okay with that?"

"Hell yeah. We're calling him Perfect Night, and when I'm seventy and a widowed cat-owner, I'll think about that night and I'll feel all tingly inside again."

"Eww, but fine if that makes you feel better about growing old. What if you meet someone who's as good as him in bed though? Or as hot?"

Felicity shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't think I'm going to meet a lot of really hot sex-gods at Queen Consolidated. Even less from my cubicle in the I.T department. "

Taylor laughed.

"So you're saying yes?"

Felicity breathed in the delicious smell of the ocean, sitting on a bench distractedly. The sun was already up in the sky, showering the water with light making it sparkle with a million diamonds. The sight fit her mood. Everything felt so good, she wished she could bottle up this moment, and keep it forever with her.

"I mean, I don't know. It's not my dream job, it'll be just I.T but I didn't have time to do more internships these past few years because of my mom's money issues, and that man, Walter Steele, said the position could be temporary. If I play my cards right, I might be promoted quickly. And California is close to Nevada, so that helps."

"What, you'd actually visit your mother?" Taylor joked. "She'll be delighted."

Felicity snorted.

"No, silly. But you could come visit, and so could I. It would be easier, and cheaper."

"You could always look for a job in Vegas. A hacker specialized in surveillance device would be most welcomed in a casino, you know."

"No way in hell," Felicity let out between clenched teeth. "I hate casinos, I hate everything that makes Vegas what it is. It ruined my mother. I'm not cynical enough to add fuel in this machine."

"Okay, okay. Sorry I asked, you don't need to bite my head off."

Felicity sighed, and leaned back on the bench.

"Sorry. I just… I miss you guys, but my life is not in Vegas. It's… I'm so relieved I don't have to go back home after I graduate, you have no idea. Just having a plan, just knowing I'm going forward with my life… You don't know how soothing it is. I lost sleep over that. Just because you declare a major, or graduate doesn't mean you're going to find a job right away. And leaving M.I.T scares the shit out of me. It's the first time I feel good somewhere, the first time people look out for me and are interested in my opinions and my knowledge."

"I know," Taylor responded. "You're going to find that again. Queen Consolidated is a huge company, I'm sure you'll make a ton of friends. I'm sure you'll have people who'll look after you, and you'll soon be part of their team and they won't be able to do anything when you're not there."

Felicity laughed.

"We'll see I guess. Look I'm gonna have to let you go, I'm like, ten minutes away from my hotel and I desperately need to catch up on my sleep right now."

Taylor snorted.

"Yeah, I'm sure you didn't sleep much."

"Say hi to Lilly from me, okay?"

"Yeah. Take care Smoak. And congrats on your bucket list. I remember four years ago when I wrote it, I put number one just to mess with you and rile you up. It's funny how much has changed since then. It's good to hear you so satisfied."

"Satisfied," Felicity grinned. "Yop, satisfied is the word."

Felicity hung up quickly, but contrary to what she'd told her best friend, she didn't walk back to her hotel room right away. She stayed seated on the bench, her feet buried in the cold sand, and she stared at the horizon, relishing in the feeling of rightness that she was experiencing in that instant.

Life was definitely not what she'd expected all these years ago when she packed her bags as she left for Boston. If Taylor, Fanny, and now Melissa had taught her anything in these four years, it was to let go of things that were holding you back. She had become who she had wanted to be. She was no longer lame-o Felicity Smoak from the North part of Vegas, raised by a single mother who loved men more than she loved her kid.

She was Felicity Smoak, soon to be M.I.T graduate, a confident (sort of) woman who would let life surprise her. It wasn't always good, but she had a feeling there would be other things. Other things that would make her feel as alive as she felt right now.

[**NEXT:** Part III — THE PRE-ARROW YEARS]

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm kind of worried some might think Felicity is a little OOC here in that last year, which I'll defend right away. I think Felicity has a tendency to put men on a pedestal (men as in Oliver) and think they're too far out of her league and I think that her being a "nerd" and all makes her think that it's never going to happen. That's sort of what I was trying to show here. She doesn't want the chance to have her "idea" of who that guy is to be ruined because he'll be human. She knows Oliver has flaws but a lot of time she just looks past it because she has this idea (true or not) that Oliver is a hero. I don't know if I'm expressing it, but I don't think Felicity having a one night stand and/or not knowing who the guy's name even is, is too far of a stretch. But I'm opened to discussing this, obviously.

Next chapter will focus on Felicity's first two years at QC and you'll get to see Walter Steele, Moira Queen and witness first hand Felicity's parenting skills. I hope this chapter pleased you! :-)


	3. Part III

**PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS**

**PART III.**

"_I don't really know what my father is 'cause he abandoned us. I barely remember him, but I do remember how much it hurt when he left_."

— Felicity Smoak, episode 2.13

**AUGUST 2010**

"Okay, you're freaking me out."

Taylor jumped a little on the bench and looked at her best friend who had been seated next to her in silence for the past ten minutes. It wouldn't worry Felicity that much if Taylor hadn't come for a surprise visit and taken upon herself to take her out for a lunch break. Felicity only had an hour before she was expected back in her cubicle by her lame-ass manager who couldn't do half of what she could.

While waiting her best friend out, Felicity had decided to try (and fail) to eat a melting ice cream. She grimaced at her cone, tilting her head on the side to lick the dripping cream from the cone just as another part was sliding on her fingers.

Taylor shook her head.

"You're worst than Lilly at this, I swear. Even my five year-old knows how to eat an ice cream without making a mess of herself."

"Five and a half," Felicity grumbled, giving a murderous glance at her now sticky fingers.

"What?"

"Lilly's five and a half. The half part of her age is super important right now, she's as anal about it as you can be about my dating life."

"Well she _is_ my daughter after all."

The two young women looked ahead where the girl they were talking about was climbing a slide and settling on it. They stayed quiet for a moment, while Felicity debated whether to give up on that ice cream situation. On the one hand, she really liked mint chipped ice cream. On the other hand, she felt disgusting and it was so hot outside there was no way to win against it. She wasn't even sure she'd ever dare go back to work and touch her keyboard with such dirty hands.

Felicity frowned, then figured that she couldn't exactly get more gross than she was right now. And the good thing about hanging out with your best friend and her five (and a half) year-old daughter was that they always had baby wipes around. Taylor could claim that Lilly was better at eating ice cream, Felicity was proud to say that she still beat the kid at rolling herself in the dirt (by not doing it). Which meant that her fingers and mouth were the only thing she had to wash after she was done with that annoying ice cream.

After another drop of ice cream fell on the floor between her legs, Felicity rolled her eyes at herself, deciding to eat the whole thing entirely and be done with it. She cleaned her fingers with Lilly's wipes and caught Taylor's worried glance. Felicity frowned again.

"T, what's wrong?"

She was no longer surprised by Taylor Young's surprise visits every year at any random moment (but mostly in the summer). The last time Taylor was this quiet however, she was telling her that she thought she was pregnant. Felicity hoped to everything that was holy that this silence treatment wasn't a repeat of that time six years ago.

Taylor looked Felicity in the eyes for a long moment, in a way that had never happened before. She looked like she was seeing Felicity for the first time, like she was a mystery to solve. Felicity found that she was thirty seconds away from freaking the hell out.

"You never talk about your dad," Taylor finally said.

Okay, Felicity was NOT expecting that. At all. At that point, she was expecting something along the lines of "my mother's dead", or "your mother's dead"… Obviously something about motherhood. And death, apparently. Taken completely aback, she could only half shrug.

"There's not really anything to say. It's not like I've got a ton of memories to share about him."

She was surprised by the bitterness that even she could hear in her tone.

"Do you think about him a lot?"

Now this was just surprise on top of more surprise. Like Russian dolls of surprise and unexpected questions. Who could be interested in her parents? Or her (lack of) relationship with them, for that matter?

Felicity pulled a non-committal face.

"I used to. Not anymore. Why are you suddenly interested in my dad?"

Felicity had an idea of the answer, and she wasn't stunned when Taylor straight up ignored that question.

"But even as kids… I mean, when we met in the sixth grade you didn't talk about him either. You never bring him up, and even… You know, you never talk about your mom either."

Felicity blinked.

"What is this about T? Since when are my mommy and daddy issues that interesting?"

She couldn't believe that she was actually wishing Taylor would go back to nagging her about her (lack of a) love life. Taylor leaned back against the seat of the bench and brushed her dark hair out of her face, apparently hell bent on figuring out Felicity's silence about specific topics.

"You act like it doesn't affect you, and I don't know… It's impressing. I'm a total mess because my mom was a bitch to me once six years ago and you've basically been through ten times worse and you're… so collected, and fine. How do you do that?"

"Come on, T, I haven't been through ten times worse. Sure, I wasn't the poster child for the typical American family of happiness but it wasn't that bad. A ton of kids are abandoned by their dad, it's sadly very common."

"I'm not sure that many go to M.I.T and turn out as okay and hopeful and kind as you."

"Aw, now you're just being a sap," Felicity joked, playfully punching her best friend in the arm.

The truth was, she wasn't really at ease with the topic. She didn't really give that much thought to her father because what her imagination came up with was too sad or depressing to deal with.

Taylor smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She went back to stare at her daughter who was now playing with a little kid with blond hair and blue eyes. He couldn't have been older than two years old and had gained the older girl's affection. She was trying to help him climb the ladder to the slide and cheered him on. Felicity couldn't help but think that maybe she wanted a little brother.

The I.T girl remembered thinking exactly the same before her father left. Wondering why she didn't have a baby brother to play with. Of course, once her dad bailed, everything became clearer.

"She asked, didn't she?" Felicity whispered, tilting her head in Lilly's direction.

Her heart was beating so loud, it was threatening to get out of her chest. It was the first time in six years that her best friend was bringing up the topic of "fathers". It could only mean one thing. Taylor turned her head in Felicity's direction, caught off guard. Then she cast her eyes on the floor and barely nodded.

"Last week, it was her friend Tamara's birthday. Her dad had set the whole thing up… And all the other kids' daddies were coming to pick them up."

"What did you tell her?"

Taylor wiped a hand over her face and shrugged, chuckling humorlessly. Self-deprecatingly.

"I deflected. I knew… I knew since the day she was born that I'd be in that exact situation one day. I just hoped… I just hoped it would take longer."

"She's going to ask again, T. Do you have an answer to give to her?"

Taylor stayed quiet, her eyes trained on her daughter once more.

"You were, what, seven when your dad split?" she started again. "Did you ever ask your mom why?"

Felicity's fingers started picking at the wipe she'd used, trying to test its elasticity distractedly.

"Well, like Cole said, I don't know how to take a hint, you know."

Taylor's eyes darkened in anger at the mention of Cole the Asshole, but Felicity ignored it. It didn't hurt anymore when she thought of what he did.

"It took me forever to understand that he was just gone. He bailed while I was at school and I remember, I kept pestering my mom about where Dad was, why he wasn't home yet, when he would come home… You know how I get. I was relentless. I mean, I was just a kid, it's not like… I realized later, she was waiting for him to come back too. She cried herself to sleep every night; I could hear her. I remember the day she stopped waiting, the day she stopped hoping. She said it would only be the two of us from now on. I never asked how she knew. She wasn't crying anymore. That was enough for me."

Taylor stayed quiet for a moment.

"When did you stop hoping?"

Felicity looked away and shrugged.

"I have no idea. My situation with my parents has nothing to do with Lilly's, though."

Taylor chuckled self-deprecatingly.

"You grew up without a father and with a fucked up mother. Seems pretty similar to me. I just… I guess I'm just trying to make sure she turns out like you."

"Taylor you're anything but a fucked up mother. And mine wasn't always fucked up. She just… She doesn't get me, she doesn't understand who I am and what I like. She and I, we have nothing in common. She can't understand why I've always been more interested in books, in studying, in being by myself when she's such a people person, so outgoing, so into men and partying… My parents were Prom King and Queen. Not the nerds who can't manage to talk normally to people. We can't be in the same room because we just… She doesn't get me, and she wants me to be someone that I'm not. I'm not a people person, I'm not worldly, I'm not the hot chick all the guys are interested in and that's okay with me. It's not okay with her, but it's not my problem."

Taylor gulped and looked down. Felicity kept other truths for herself. She didn't tell Taylor that she knew that Donna Smoak was still in love with Felicity's father. Felicity had found their prom picture in her wallet so many times. She knew without a doubt that if Jack came back one day, Donna would welcome him, arms wide-open and she would forgive everything. Forget about the past fifteen years of the two of them struggling to pay bills, of her mother having to work shitty shifts to make more money.

Felicity also knew her mother blamed herself for Felicity turning out the way she had. For being socially awkward and a nerd. She had spent so much time alone, babysitting herself as soon as she was six, making dinner with the microwave, and fixing said microwave when it broke down because her mother couldn't afford another one. Donna thought that if she had spent a little more time with her daughter, maybe she could have taught her how not to be so weird, how to dress to impress, how to be a mini-version of her.

When Felicity told her that she wanted to go to M.I.T, Donna saw it as a betrayal. Not just because she was doing exactly the same thing as her father — leaving her mom behind. But because, by going to a fancy school, by embracing her brains and a better future, she felt like Felicity was spitting on what her mother was. Who her mother was. But Felicity couldn't shake where she came from. M.I.T had helped her understand that she didn't wear a t-shirt that said "I've been abandoned, my parents are low-lives". She could start fresh. But she still saw herself the way her mom did. Maybe deep down, she didn't want to betray her further, in a twisted way.

"Lilly is a happy kid. She's always smiling, and you do everything for her. There will be difficult times because the poor kid's inherited your 'charming' personality. But at some point she'll know that you're doing your best."

Taylor nodded, her throat tight.

"What will you tell her if she asks again, when she grows up?"

Taylor shook her head.

"I have no idea."

Felicity closed her eyes and braced herself.

"How about the truth?"

She tried to look as chill as possible but she was half expecting Taylor to lie to her face again. That was why Felicity never brought that topic up. She wasn't sure Taylor was ready to face it. And she was right: her best friend looked her in the eyes and Felicity saw fear, anguish, worry veiling them.

"I can't tell her the truth," she admitted.

"Why?"

Taylor shook her head, unable to speak. Felicity's hand dropped on her shoulder, and figured she could help Taylor confess a little bit.

"I think you're lying when you say that you don't know who her father is. I remember the months before you got pregnant. We were going out and drinking but you never went home with guys. You always slept at my place."

Taylor's green eyes flew to meet Felicity's again, and this time it was shame she was seeing in them.

"You skipped school then. It was during the day. And you were never high nor drunk during the day. You know who the father is, and I have to say…"

Felicity took a deep breath and blew it slowly.

"I've never brought it up because there can only be two reasons for you to keep that secret. In any case, your relationship with that man was illegal. Either you're covering him because you loved him, or still love him, or you're keeping quiet because you're scared, because he hurt you."

There was a heavy, loaded silence where the two girls looked into each other's eyes, before Taylor's face covered in surprise.

"Hold on, hold on, hold on! You think I was _raped_?" she breathed out.

Felicity opened her mouth, as Taylor's eyes bugged out of her face.

"Holy shit, Smoak! _No_, thank GOD nothing happened against my will, it was nothing like that! Definitely the first situation. Not legal. Head over heels in love with him."

Felicity released a deep sigh of relief that she didn't know she needed to release. She literally hated mysteries, and her mind had been reeling for the past six years about the identity of Lilly's father. If it wasn't some dark, horrible and painful reason, then it would be much more difficult for Felicity to not pester her best friend about the guy.

"Who is he then?"

Taylor smiled evilly and shrugged.

"That, Smoak, I'm not telling."

Felicity opened her mouth in outrage.

"What? But! You have to! Who is it? Taylor, I hate mysteries!"

She was going to respond, a devious smirk already in place when she stopped and frowned.

"You never talk about your dad," she repeated, thinking out loud.

Felicity arched an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"We covered that already, weren't you there?"

"No, I mean… You hate mysteries, you said it. You never mentioned looking for him. It's not like you to leave something like that alone."

"I lasted six years before calling you on your crap about Lilly's father and it's been _eating at me_. I knew that if you were lying to my face it was because you had a good reason. I can accept that even if it bugs me. But I must admit, I'm a sucker for that face people make when they come up with lame excuses. I wish you could have seen your face when you told your mom you didn't remember who Lilly's father was."

Taylor smirked, proudly this time, and tilted her head to Felicity.

"You're deflecting," she sing-sung.

Felicity rolled her eyes.

"Is that your way of calculating the odds of Lilly looking for her father?"

Taylor snorted and pulled the wipe Felicity was slowly ripping to shreds.

"No. It's me trying to get you to open up about your dad. Did you ever look for him? It's not like you couldn't. You're the one managing my bank account. Don't think I didn't notice."

Both their lips spread into a smile, Felicity's being more sheepish and Taylor's proud.

"No, I never looked for him. You're looking at this the wrong way. My dad leaving is not a mystery. I know why he left, I already told you. He left because my mom and I, we weren't what made him happy. And I… It hurts, knowing that I am part of the reason he's not here, or that I wasn't enough for him to even stay in touch. So the only way I can rationalize that, it's that in the end, I'm better off without him. It's not a mystery."

"Don't you wonder though? Where he is?"

Felicity shrugged once more, playing with one of the remnants of the wipe on her knee.

"Sometimes, but I force myself to stop because it's no use and it hurts. It's not my place to look for him. He left on his own accord. If he hasn't tried to make contact with me, it's either because he doesn't care or because he dares not. Either way, I'm not interested in having a relationship with that kind of person. He wasn't happy with my mom, I can understand that… You want advice about being a kid who grows up without a father?"

She didn't give time to Taylor to respond, her distant eyes looking at nothing.

"Tell her the truth, whatever it is. Tell her you loved her father, and you were gifted with her, and that you wish it were different but her dad can't be in the picture right now. Don't stay quiet. Answer truthfully, that's the only way it'll work. And whatever happens, make her realize that if her dad is not in the picture it's not because of her, it's not because she was born. There's nothing more painful than being convinced that you're the reason your parents are unhappy with their life, and would rather walk away than stay and fight."

Taylor's hand came to wrap around Felicity's, and pressed it lightly, bringing the smallest smile on the other woman's face.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"I guess I had stuff to say in the end…" Felicity chuckled, looking up hoping that the moisture in her eyes would disappear. "I'm happier on my own."

"Are you?" Taylor found herself asking.

Felicity blinked. "Am I what?"

"Are you happy? With your life? With being an IT specialist in a multinational company? You went back to blending in, you know. You hide your industrial piercing with your beautiful hair, you dress in faded colors…"

"Haa we're going back to that. I don't try to blend in, stop it I just don't have time to buy clothes. And I don't need to be the center of attention, I'm better off in the backstage, you know. As for the piercing, my manager told me himself that he'd prefer if I didn't wear it. I have to hide it."

"Urgh, lame," was Taylor's remark. "Wow, check that uptight chick!"

Felicity raised her eyes and saw immediately who Taylor was talking about. Felicity had to admit, she did not share her best friend's opinion about the woman who was walking towards the Queen Consolidated building. She bit her lips and chuckled anyway. Typical Taylor. To be truthful, the woman reminded Felicity of Mrs Young when she attended an important meeting.

"Ha, of course she's uptight. She's my boss."

Taylor's eyebrows rose on her forehead.

"_That's_ your manager?" she shrieked. "I thought it was a forty-something bold dude, not a hot fifty year-old mother of three!"

"I said she was my _boss_, not my manager. And she's a mother of two. Or, well, one now. She lost her son at sea three years ago. I'd look uptight too if I lost my son and husband on the same day."

Taylor blinked and pointed at the woman with her thumb.

"_That's_ Moira Queen?"

Felicity nodded, her eyes trained on the steely, classy woman who walked across the pavement in front of the building with purpose and grace at the same time.

"Damn!" Taylor whistled. "Talk about an Ice Queen!"

"I know, right?" Felicity whispered, as if Moira Queen could hear her (Felicity was convinced she could, somehow). "She scares the shit out of me. Sometimes, she comes to the I.T department, and she acts like she wants to support us but she just… I think she looks past us but I'm not sure. I'm so glad I blend in then. I don't think she knows who I am."

Taylor's expression mirrored exactly Felicity's. For once, the two girls were as impressed as the other by a person. It was rare enough to make Felicity want to clap.

"She'd probably put a hit on you if she did."

"Why?" Felicity asked, offended. "I didn't do anything to her! Why would she want to have me killed?"

Taylor shrugged, her eyes still following Moira who was talking animatedly with Walter Steele. Felicity's heart warmed at the sight. She couldn't explain why, but she actually really liked Walter. When he came to the I.T department, he always remembered who she was and asked her how she was doing. Sure, he was probably just being nice, but that was rare enough too so Felicity knew how to appreciate this consideration. She'd never forget that he was the one who came to look for her at M.I.T. For someone so used to being left out, being pursued by someone (platonically of course!) was refreshing. She couldn't be anything but biased where he was concerned.

"I don't know, she looks like someone who would put a hit on an enemy. Maybe she's crushed with guilt and loss and she takes it out on people that she gets angry at."

Felicity was going to argue that she'd never even spoken to the woman, and demand to know why Moira Queen would be angry at her, when the person concerned smiled kindly and leaned to plant a short but tender kiss on Walter's lips.

"Or she's totally over it," Taylor deadpanned.

Felicity felt herself turn completely red, but she couldn't explain why. Maybe because she really admired Walter and she was surprised that he could be attracted to such a… Cold woman. But then again…

"Good for her," Felicity commented, trying to appear casual. "I mean, she needs to move on, she can't be mourning her husband and her son for the rest of her life. And Walter's a really good man."

Taylor gave Felicity a dismissive side-eye.

"I'm sure she'll be delighted to know that you approve."

"Whatever, I only ever deal with Walter anyway. I hope I never have to talk to her. Can you imagine how it'd go? I'd find a way to bring up her dead family."

Taylor chuckled.

"Too bad her son died, he was really hot."

Felicity shrugged.

"How do you even know who he is? I only do because people still talk about it at work."

"Eh, what can I say, I have a thing for man-whores; their sex-life is way more entertaining than mine that's for sure."

Felicity rolled her eyes, just as Lilly came bouncing back to them, still waving goodbye to the little guy who was leaving with his mother. Felicity ignored Lilly's babbles about the little boy, whom she had apparently learned everything there was to know about (his name was Connor, he and his mom lived in Central City but were spending their holidays in Starling with Connor's grandparents), too focused on staring at Moira Queen on the other side of the sidewalk as she disappeared in the building.

"He's like me," Lilly was saying when Felicity tuned back in. "He doesn't have a daddy, I asked!"

Taylor only smiled, and kissed the top of Lilly's head before she stood up.

"It's not polite to ask about things like that, honey."

"Why?"

Felicity chuckled and shook her head. She was so glad Lilly never asked her anything about social etiquette. Her answer would probably always be "you're asking _me_?" accompanied by an awkward snort-laugh. She'd done it once, earning a murderous glance from her best friend. It was then decided that Felicity would only deal with teaching her goddaughter 'school stuff' and leave anything socially related to her worldly mother.

"It might make other people feel awkward. Now let's go, Aunt Fleety's gotta go back to work."

Lilly was perfectly capable of enunciating her name correctly but the nickname had stuck over the years. Knowing that Taylor was way too amused by its sound, Felicity had stopped battling and embraced what she still thought was a lame-ass moniker.

"Ooooooh!" the little girl sighed in disappointment.

Her shoulders slumped but she still went on the tip of her toes, hugging her godmother fiercely.

"How 'bout I make it up to you by watching The Little Mermaid when I get home?"

She couldn't stand the movie anymore, knowing every line by heart by now, but Lilly's eyes brightened with actual sparkles, making her feel slightly better about having to work while her best friend was visiting.

Sure, the devious grin that spread Lilly's lips left Felicity with the feeling that she had been played, but she found that she didn't care. She only got to see the kid once a year, she didn't mind sitting through that damn Disney movie for the hundredth time in a row if that made her happy.

"Yaaaaaaay!" Lilly screamed.

"Aunt Fleety's gonna need a bottle of wine or two if we're going through with these thrilling plans," Felicity commented drily, making sure that the message was well received by her mother.

The laugh that followed her sentence proved that she wouldn't be disappointed.

When Felicity went back to work, she couldn't help but look around her to make sure that Moira Queen wasn't in the lobby anymore (and felt like a coward and a child by doing so). That day was her lucky day: she snuck back to work without anyone noticing she had disappeared longer than her break usually allowed her to.

Blending in had its perks.

* * *

**JULY 2011**

Wade's lips drifted from her jaw to her lips, claiming them in a searing kiss that would have left Felicity with wobbly knees if she wasn't currently laying under him on her sofa. Or at least, she thought she'd get wobbly knees. Wade was good kisser, she thought. He was no Perfect Night, mind you, but then again, Felicity had had to lower her expectations since that night was exceptional in every way. Life wasn't supposed to be "exceptional" every day, otherwise exceptional became banal and then you expected awesome constantly and you were always disappointed even with great things.

Wow. How philosophical of her. Was it wrong that she was thinking about Perfect Night while she was making out with a cute guy? She'd met him in a coffee shop when she'd spilled her latte on his shirt and they'd had five dates before she invited him for a nightcap.

She remembered vividly how he'd blushed and babbled that yes, sure, he would be delighted. Heh. It was cool not to be the only nervous one for once. So nervous she'd had to take complete charge of the whole thing if she wanted to get any. Which she had. Gotten some, of course.

Now he felt a little more confident, if his hand dipping under her shirt was any indication.

"Do you like that?" he asked timidly.

Felicity nodded, unable to prevent herself from thinking about a conversation she'd had with Taylor about guys asking if they were doing it right. Taylor found it annoying ("When they don't do it right, I tell them, dammit! Just shut up and do your thing!"), but Felicity found it thoughtful and overall adorable. She couldn't help but be thankful for being born in an era where most men actually cared about getting a girl to enjoy having sex with them. Granted, sometimes they only did to make themselves feel good ("I'm such a stud!" — Asshole Cole) but as long as she didn't go home unhappy, she guessed she didn't mind.

Holy shit, did she have to think about Taylor when she was making out with him?

SHIT. TAYLOR.

"What?" Wade whispered, leaning back on his elbows as Felicity tried to sit up and bumped head with him. "Aoutch!"

"Aow!" Felicity complained, her hand flying to her forehead. "I'm sorry."

"What's wrong? Who's Taylor?"

Felicity shut her eyes, trying to get the pain to ebb away, which was stupid because her eyes were not exactly putting any pressure on her bumped forehead.

"I think I have a concussion!"

Wade frowned but shook his head knowingly.

"It's highly unlikely," he stated.

Wade was a medical laboratory scientist at Starling City Hospital and had a little knowledge on the topic. Usually, it was kind of fun, but right that moment, Felicity didn't like his lack of appreciation for dramatics.

"You didn't answer me, though! Who's Taylor? Did I do something wrong?"

Felicity could hear the vulnerability in Wade's voice, and felt bad for him. She shouldn't have been thinking about other stuff while they were making out (she hadn't even told him that she was liking what he was doing!) but at the same time, she had completely forgotten that she had a guest arriving that day.

"Taylor's my best friend and I totally forgot that I'm supposed to pick up her daughter at the airport in…" she looked at the clock on her wall and had a mini-inside freak out, "darn, an hour."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, it totally slipped my mind I didn't think to tell you, I offered to host her daughter for a week so she could enjoy her first ever holidays with her boyfriend."

Wade still seemed perplexed.

"You're passing on your vacation so you can take care of someone else's baby?"

"Lilly's not a baby, she's going on seven!" Felicity protested. "Taylor had her when we were sixteen and she's been in this serious relationship for over a year now but her and Jason have never been just the two of them, you know? So I offered to take the little one with me during my own vacation! It's gonna be fun!"

"Oh," was all Wade said, a little disappointed. "So I won't get to see you this week?"

"I mean, I'll be busy but we can still hang. You'll probably be bored though, Lilly's very girly and she's super outdoorsy."

Wade grimaced, and she felt sympathy. Wade was not exactly the "wild" kind, which she guessed she kind of found endearing. Therefore, she was glad when he said he'd be happy to hang if she wanted but wouldn't be offended if she preferred to just stay with her goddaughter.

That's how Felicity found herself rushing through goodbyes with Wade in order to clean her apartment a little bit. She was pretty sure bottles of red wine were not supposed to be laying around with empty glasses, and she knew for sure that she wouldn't be taken seriously if literally all her clothes were spread across her room. She jumped in her car and drove furiously to the airport, already chastising herself for being late.

She'd forgotten about a kid just because she was making out with her boyfriend? Who the hell did that?

Heh, she knew, and the answer did not please her. Her mother forgot about her kid for a guy. She'd always promised herself that if she ever had kids they would come before anything. She wasn't even a mother and she was already failing at making sure the child she was in charge of was safe. What if Lilly thought she'd been forgotten? What if the cops were already taking her in to protect her, and they called Taylor and she freaked?

Felicity's hand dug in her purse to retrieve a Mars bar that she ate in two bites without even realizing it.

She would be a terrible mother and a terrible caretaker. Was she supposed to baby proof the apartment? Surely at seven Lilly wouldn't hurt herself with drawers, right? Taylor had been coming at her home almost every year for the past six years and the apartment had never been baby proofed. She should have asked Taylor.

She was so freaking unprepared.

She had made a list of everything that could be fun. What if they had nothing to talk about? What if Lilly didn't want to do anything? What if she was like her mother and ran off with some boy and she couldn't control anything?

Once more, Felicity reminded herself that the kid was seven. It sounded improbable. She probably thought boys had cooties. Maybe Felicity could tell her about herpes and gonorrhea, and… scar her for life. Yeah, no, that sounded like a terrible idea.

Why, why, why on Earth had she offered to keep Lilly for an entire week? And she even had to insist because Taylor felt so guilty about it! Leaving her kid to a friend so she could enjoy quiet holidays with her boyfriend? Such a Donna Smoak thing to do! But Lilly had been eager, and she didn't mind at all.

Felicity parked, trying to slow her heartbeat down and not give in to the major freak out she was currently experiencing. She could do it. Looking at the screens, she learnt that Lilly's plane had barely landed, and she knew that the children flying by themselves were the last ones to get out.

Two Mars bars and an empty pack of skittles later, Felicity saw the petite frame of a raven-haired little girl come out behind a stewardess. She didn't even have time to panic about the reality of the situation that Lilly was already running past the lady and tackling Felicity.

"AUNT FLEETY!"

"Hey monkey!"

The little girl hugged her with impressive strength, kissing her so hard on the cheek that Felicity felt a bruise coming. The obvious joy that Lilly was displaying immediately dissipated all of Felicity's anxiety. She looked down at the girl and grinned happily, holding out her hand for her to take. Lilly did not hesitate one second and slipped it in, swaying it with giddiness. Felicity's heart warmed as she texted Taylor that everything was fine — most of all her daughter.

The week flew by and every day ended up being very fun. Despite everything that Taylor had told Felicity ("I can't get her to go to a museum. Worst thing is, I can't blame her." "Brace yourself for a fight when it's time to go to sleep", "Vegeta-what? All she says she likes is candy!") Lilly was game for anything. Granted, Felicity had to trick her a lot in order to get what she wanted (she didn't think it was good parenting but Taylor didn't have to know and it got the work done).

Five days into the week, Felicity invited Wade to tag along, introducing him as a friend when they went to the zoo where he was very funny and provided random info about the animals they encountered. When the two girls came back to Felicity's little town house, she offered to make cookies, which Lilly accepted in a uncharacteristically sober way.

They were kneading the dough when Lilly began shooting her with questions. After five days, Felicity had grown a little accustomed to that tendency (she was her mother's daughter after all) but it was still leaving her wary.

"Aunt Fleety, why don't you have kids?"

Yep. Still leaving her wary. Felicity pressed her lips together, raking her brains for an appropriate answer. Boy, she made it difficult.

"Mh, ehh… because I'm too young, and I haven't met the right person?"

Lilly frowned. The resemblance with her mother was usually uncanny but when she frowned Lilly took that to eerily levels. The only thing that she hadn't had from her mother was her eyes. They were so brown they almost turned as black as her hair when she was upset. Felicity often wondered if they reminded Taylor of Lilly's father when she looked into her daughter's eyes.

"You can't be too young. Mommy had me when she was sixteen. And isn't Wade your boyfriend? You said he was a friend, but Mommy said the same thing when she introduced Jason to me and he was _not_ just a friend."

Slippery slope! And what was that sanctimonious tone? She was seven! She wasn't supposed to have such strong opinions! Heh. When she was seven, Felicity dismantled everything that resembled a computer to understand how it worked. Maybe she should feel lucky that Lilly wasn't deconstructing the television or her brand new laptop.

"Huumm… Haaa, well your mom and me are different, you know? She… Obviously ended up being ready before me?"

How could she be so terrible at this? Couldn't Lilly keep asking questions like "why is the sky blue?" or "what is a color?"? That, Felicity could actually answer, however freaky it might sound. Worst case scenario, Google could help! But what was she supposed to google there?

"I don't understand," Lilly stated.

"Of course you don't," Felicity muttered to herself. "It's really complicated. I guess you'll understand when you're older?"

She found herself praying that it would be enough for Lilly. But praying led her nowhere.

"Is it because you're not married? Mommy says most people get married, but she didn't get married to my dad. I think Jason wants to marry Mommy, he asked me if I'd mind."

Felicity's eyes popped out of her face.

"He _what_? He's going to propose?"

"It's supposed to be a secret! You're cool, so I decided I could let you in on it, but you can't tell her okay?"

Felicity blinked. Was she being told by a seven year old?

"I'll keep the secret, sure. So… You gave him your blessing? You like Jason?"

Lilly shrugged. "He makes Mommy smile a lot, and he buys me ice cream when we go out. He never gives me time out or yell at me when Mommy would." She gave Felicity a sly, impish grin. "When I cry he always makes a weird face like he doesn't know what to do with me. It's fun."

"You're evil."

Once again, Lilly shrugged. "I hate it when Mommy gives me time out."

"I'm sure she only does it when you deserve it, and it means that she cares," Felicity provided philosophically. "Trust me, it's better than a mom that doesn't."

"Your Mommy never gave you time out?" the little girl asked, eyes glowing with admiration.

Oh. And one more slippery slope. Talking about her childhood with Lilly when she was this young couldn't be a good thing. And they weren't even in the same situation. Also, so far, she'd always dodged the "daddy-questions" bullet and she was really hoping to leave it that way.

"Does it mean you're getting a brother or sister?" Felicity deflected, hoping to distract her goddaughter.

"I asked him, but he said it was up to Mommy. She keeps saying no right now. Pf. She's lame, I'd totally help if I had a little brother! I'd play dress up with him!"

Felicity chuckled. "It wouldn't be a doll, monkey. It'd be an actual crying baby who would need to eat in the middle of the night. I don't think you'd like it as much as you say."

Lilly completely ignored Felicity's input: it was not what she wanted to hear and she was really good at paying no attention to things she didn't like.

"Mostly, I'm glad because I'll finally have a daddy."

Truth be told, even as an adult (or what Lilly considered an adult, more like), the young woman had no idea how to react to that. So she went with the only word that came to her mind:

"Really?"

"I asked him," Lilly nodded mindlessly, plunging her hand in the bowl of chocolate chips and sprinkling them on the kneaded dough experimentally, "and he said that if I wanted to he was okay with it. Isn't that cool? I think Mommy will let him pick me up from school when they're married. Do you think you'll get married someday?"

Felicity's mouth opened of its own accord, and she found herself having to forcefully close it in order to gulp properly. She'd sunk on her stool minutes before and it turned out it had been a great idea because she definitely needed to stay seated for that impossible conversation.

"Oh, so we're back to me again?" she grumbled. "I… I guess I hope so?"

But then she was struck with a moment of feminism.

"You know, you don't have to be married to be happy with someone. Originally, a marriage was just a legal bond, and the whole 'father who brings his daughter to give away to another man' thing is really offensive when you think about it, don't you…" Felicity trailed off as she witnessed Lilly blink and stare at her emptily. "Never mind. Who's kidding who. Yes. Hopefully, one day I'll get married."

"Do you think it'll be to Wade?"

There was a screeching sound in Felicity's brain that sounded a lot like someone braking hard.

"Wow, slow down monkey! We're so not there!"

"Why?" Lilly pressed on candidly. "Aren't you in love with him?"

"No."

Wow, that came out very strongly. Had she scared Lilly? Was she supposed to lie to her? What if she thought she had no self-respect because she was dating a guy that she didn't love? Lilly was watching every goddamn Disney movie, and all the princesses and princes loved each other before they started dating (if that could even be called dating!).

Was she scarring Lilly for life?

"I mean, Wade and I haven't known each other for a long time. These things take time."

There. That wasn't so bad. She didn't sound like a floozy and that was a good explanation. And it did take time! Pft. There was no such thing as love at first sight. Attraction, sure. Thinking 'Damn, that's a hottie right there!' did not a love story make.

She hadn't even thought that about Wade when she'd first met him, though.

"Mommy says she fell in love with Jason instantly!"

"Lucky her," Felicity commented wryly.

"I wonder what it does to be in love. Mommy says it's like butterflies in your stomach and you feel ridiculous and giddy at the same time. She says it's like the first day of school. I hated the first day of school. Is that what it does to you when you see Wade?"

Felicity found herself at a loss. It had been a long time since she'd felt the butterflies in her stomach. Maybe that was because she was getting older and she knew too much what was going to happen? Wade didn't look threatening. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who broke your heart and left you hanging which was a nice kind of pace after Asshole Cole and the debacle of Smug Bastard. Her heart still clenched when she thought of him — she really wasn't made for any kind of casual relationship. She was too genuine (stupid?) to give her body to someone she didn't already trust, and when Felicity Smoak trusted, it meant you already had a special place in her heart.

"Love can be different things, it does not need to be all about passion you know," she responded, feeling a little depressed by the conversation. "Hey, you're grilling me, but what about you? Do you have a special someone?"

Lilly's face turned into a disgusted grimace. "Ewwwww! Nooooooo! All the boys are yucky! There's one boy who has a pretty face."

"Oooh, I love a guy with a pretty face! Is he smart?"

Lilly shrugged.

"Hey, don't be like me, monkey okay? Go past the pretty face. Go with the smart ones. Pretty faces? Usually bad news."

"Why?" Lilly frowned.

"Trust me on this one. If you see a guy with a disarming smile and a pretty face, run away. Don't fall for his tricks! I have, it's not pretty. I can tell you, it's not going to happen again!"

"Is that why you are with Wade?" Lilly wondered.

What was _that_ supposed to mean?

"Hey! Wade is cute!"

The noncommittal shrug made a comeback. Felicity felt like banging her head against the wall. Even Lilly disapproved of her choices in men? Really?

"Okay, let's agree to disagree on that one. I'm sure your boy Pretty Face isn't that pretty anyway!" Then she processed her words and felt horrified. "Not that I would think a little kid is pretty. That'd be super gross. And wrong. Forget that I said anything."

"Oh, Aunt Fleety…" the kid sighed.

Lilly side-eyed her godmother and shook her head dejectedly, in a disturbing typical-Taylor move that freaked Felicity out. She felt like she was being scolded. By a seven year-old. She really needed to get her life back together.

They finished their cookies, and Lilly finally dropped the topic of babies, weddings and Felicity's love life (honestly, was it a family thing, to want to micro-manage Felicity's love life?). It was only when Lilly was tucked in bed that Felicity thought back to the conversation.

Was it normal that she wasn't completely overwhelmed with excitement every time she saw Wade? At first, she thought it was because she wasn't eighteen and naïve anymore, but maybe it was something else?

She knew things wouldn't be the same once she left M.I.T. But M.I.T had been everything she'd hoped for and even more. It had been the place where she'd strived, discovered who she was, and had had a blast. Since she'd been hired at QC, everything had slowed down. Sure, she still went out for beers with her colleagues but everyone went back home to a boyfriend or a wife. Felicity longed for the all-nighters with her friends, for the endless conversations with Fanny and Melissa, she missed the feeling of discovering new things, of feeling useful to a research, a cause, or generally looking to solve problems in general.

She wouldn't say she was bored. Or at least, she wasn't really anymore since she'd started dating Wade. He was entertaining, and fun to hang out with. And nice. And cute. She couldn't believe that at 24, Taylor was going to have a full, typical-American family when Felicity was nowhere near it. She'd wanted normalcy for so long, she couldn't believe she wasn't entirely satisfied with what she had.

She'd gone to college, first step towards the normal she aimed for (her mother had never even considered the idea). She'd wanted a normal job where she didn't need to show her boobs to get tips, in a normal company that wasn't a bar or a casino, with normal coworkers who didn't prostitute themselves or drank themselves into oblivion to forget their unhappiness. She had all of that now. So the next normal thing to do when you were 24, in her book, was finding a good boyfriend.

Wade fit in all the categories. Stable. Trustworthy. Adorable. Normal.

Yep. Funny how having a dream come true didn't feel all that exciting in the end.

As Felicity went to sleep that night, she wondered if she'd ever get butterflies in her stomach again, or if it was just a thing for teenagers and bad rom-coms.

If, in the end, it wasn't for her anymore.

[**NEXT:** Part IV — TEAM ARROW SEASON 1]

* * *

**Author's Note:** So this chapter finishes on a slightly less exciting/hopeful note. I'm trying to show just how much despite Felicity's adamant "I'm going back to my boring I.T life" lines from season 1, she was ready for Oliver to barge into her life. Hopefully that was well transcribed here. Next chapter will be sort of "codas" to episodes 103, 109 and 122. I can absolutely certify that at least one Arrow team member will meet Felicity's best friend. And you'll get to learn Taylor's nickname for Oliver…

I hope you liked that chapter! Thank you so much for reading.


	4. Part IV

**Well, I am humbled by all your kind words. Without further ado: finally Team Arrow makes its debut in Felicity's life… I hope you'll enjoy it :-)**

**PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS**

**PART IV.**

"_Felicity Smoak? Hi. I'm Oliver Queen."_

— Oliver Queen, episode 1.03

**OCTOBER 2012 **

"Okay so the weirdest thing happened today at work! Oh hey Jason!" Felicity said when she spotted her best friend's brand new husband behind Taylor.

Jason waved happily in the background but Taylor pushed him out of the frame.

"I don't wave at your football players when they're playing!" she protested. "Leave me and my MVP alone!"

Jason skipped away from his wife, smirking gleefully and left their bedroom to give Felicity and Taylor more intimacy. Lilly had dropped by to say hi earlier, telling her godmother everything about her new teacher and how Jason had picked her up from school that afternoon. Like a good godmother, Felicity had listened to every word, sitting on her own piece of information like she wasn't just dying to tell her mother the news.

"Define weird," Taylor started again. "I'm not interested in knowing that you found the guys doing copies of their penises on the copy machine. I'm not saying it's not weird, I'm just saying that it's depressingly common."

Felicity rolled her eyes. "Everyone's too stuck up at QC to make copies of their penises. Or their boobs."

"Heh, you'd be surprised. I'm sure those executives are a lot more kinky than you'd think."

"You think that's kinky? Making photocopies of your genitalia? I thought it was just disturbing."

"Well, so is choking someone while they come but that's also in the kinky category."

"Right," Felicity conceded. Well that had escalated quickly. "But what happened to me was not that weird!"

"Okay. Can't say I'm not a little disappointed by that poor introduction but I'll bite."

Felicity rolled her eyes and grinned, but felt suddenly shy. She'd planned on telling Taylor the whole truth, the whole story, but the earlier interaction had been so weird, she couldn't help but keep some of it to herself.

"So this… volcano-hot guy comes in my office today, and tells me he needs my help retrieving stuff on his laptop because he spilled a latte on it."

Taylor's eyebrows rose on her forehead, as she shook her head.

"Urgh, I don't wanna know about how the super hot guy is into proportionally creepy porn. I have a vivid enough imagination as it is."

Felicity's shoulders slumped forward.

"Let me finish! So there he is, in all his massive womanizing hotness and he smiles at me delivering this blatant lie because as soon as he hands me the laptop I realize: even if the latte ruined it, it's been riddled with bullet holes."

This time, Taylor's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Hold on, I'm worried about what you find weird in this situation. The fact that the guy was hitting on you, or the fact that he was using a very poor excuse to talk to you?"

Felicity blew a raspberry exasperatedly, because Taylor was obviously missing the point.

"He wasn't hitting on me! He was turning on the charm so I would do his bidding and not call him on his bullshit. It had nothing to do with me. The weird part was that he thought I'd be stupid enough not to notice the bullet holes."

Taylor shrugged, unimpressed. "Well, that was underwhelming. Way to talk a story up, Smoak. I mean, shit happens, isn't there a super bad neighborhood called the Glades?"

"That guy would never get caught in the Glades. He's like, the son of someone super important at the company," Felicity dismissed defensively (and no she wasn't pouting). She considered telling Taylor that the guy she was talking about was Oliver Queen but she knew she'd never hear the end of it if she did. Taylor would never let it go and push her even more than Felicity suspected she would be pushing her at the end of that story. "I just wonder why he'd lie about the bullet holes. It's not like he even tried to hide them. Honestly, his stupid lie raised more questions than I would have asked if he'd just told… I don't know, that he'd saved a poor guy's life with his laptop."

The side-eye that Taylor gave Felicity was plain awkward.

"Really? _That_, you would have believed?"

"I don't know. But why the hell would he be holding on to someone else's computer and say he spilled latte on it? It makes literally no sense. I can't even call it a mystery because it's… It's just weird."

Taylor's reaction was a mix of annoyance, resignation and excitement.

"I'm honestly sad that the most obvious explanation hasn't even crossed your mind. I swear, what am I gonna do with you Smoak?"

"What?" Felicity blinked.

"He came to hit on you, dummy! The hot guy comes in your office with a flimsy transparent lie with someone else's computer that he just 'happened to have'? That's like, How to Make a Move 101 silly!"

Felicity frowned, confused. "I really don't think that's how it happened nor the reason why he came. He genuinely didn't know who I was before he came in my office. He really wanted the information I gave him."

Taylor tilted back in surprise.

"So you did his bidding without calling him on his bullshit?!"

"I mean… what was I supposed to do? What if he tells his mom that I wasn't helping out and I lose my job?"

Taylor rolled her eyes.

"What kind of 'hot womanizer' dude — your words, not mine — would go whine to his mommy that the mean I.T girl wouldn't look into a shady fucking computer that wasn't even his in the first place?"

"I don't know. I just…"

"This was totally another pot-brownie situation, wasn't it?" Taylor asked knowingly, hesitating between being supportive and depressed by her friend.

"I was just being helpful!" Felicity protested vehemently. Too vehemently. "And I'm with Wade! I wouldn't…"

"Oh please! You were blindsided by his volcano-hotness and you helped because you're a sucker for people who don't even try to be good at lying. And flirting with a random hot guy whom you might never see again is not cheating on Wade. Which, for the record, I wouldn't judge you for doing. Much less so with a volcano-hot womanizer. How did it feel?"

Felicity grumbled. This was a trap, she could smell it from where she was sitting. Taylor hated Wade, the first nice guy she was actually dating since Mark in high school. She thought he was too boring for Felicity.

Still, Felicity walked right into the trap.

"How did what feel?"

Taylor's grin turned evil.

"Having your insides churned by the volcano-hot Laptop Guy? How good was it to feel all beautiful and tingly?"

Felicity rolled her eyes, sighing and blushing at the same time.

"It's just physical reactions. I'm telling you. He was _not_ hitting on me. He's like… He's like Leonardo DiCaprio, only dating models that have legs that go for miles, who wear size zeroes and probably speak three different languages."

Taylor groaned.

"You always say that. What is it with you and people who speak three different languages?"

Felicity shrugged. "I don't know. I just find it hot. I'm so terrible with languages."

"Says the woman who masters seven different computer ones?"

"Oh, it's just logic and numbers! What's not to love?"

"I know, right?" Taylor mocked, smiling too brightly, giggling like a teenager. "Don't you wish they all could get along and make babies?"

"Oh, shut up!"

"Anyway!" Taylor grinned. "You'll see. Laptop Guy is going to be back. He'll be back with weirder and weirder requests because he wants you and you'll ditch that boring dude that you call your boyfriend to remember what it's like to have an orgasm."

Felicity burst into laughter.

"I highly doubt it."

"You'll see Smoak. Taylor Young is always right."

"No you're not! You totally didn't see Asshole Cole coming!"

Taylor shrugged, making a little shameless "heh!" face, dismissing Felicity's rightful jab.

"_Detail_."

* * *

**DECEMBER 2012**

It was the sound of the Skype ringtone that took Felicity out of her reverie. She clicked mindlessly, still caught in her thoughts, unable to decide what to do exactly.

"Hey!" Taylor greeted excitedly.

"Hey," Felicity responded, distracted.

"Are you okay?"

Felicity stared at the little notebook in her hand, turning it over and over between her fingers. She couldn't believe Walter had disappeared. Poof. And she had the proof that something was up. He hadn't just been kidnapped. Or if he had been, she knew the reason why. She was currently holding the proof that it was more than just about money. It was about secrets.

And if Felicity Smoak knew one thing, it was that secrets were there for a reason and when they popped open they hurt people. Though, to be fair, she hadn't discovered anything yet and already people were hurt.

"Smoak!" she heard.

"What?" Felicity startled. "Oh hey T. Sorry about that."

"What's wrong?" Taylor asked worriedly.

"I… Nothing, really. My boss was kidnapped."

Taylor blinked.

"Your manager? The bold forty-something?"

"No, Walter Steele. The man who hired me, the man who was making out with Moira Queen that summer? Remember?"

"Oh! Right! It made national news. That's your boss? Do they know why he was kidnapped? Did they make any demands?"

Felicity's eyes drifted back to the notebook that she had dropped near her keyboard. Maybe it was cursed. She hadn't dared to look into it anymore. What if she was the next one kidnapped? Or killed?

"No, no one knows."

Obviously, Taylor had not expected such a short answer and waited for her to expand.

"Do you think he's dead?"

Felicity jumped again in surprise. That was why she was so torn up lately. Was he dead? Was it just a kidnapping, in order to scare Moira Queen? Or was he dead because he was looking into stuff that he shouldn't have been looking into?

"I don't know," Felicity whispered. "I really hope not."

What was Moira Queen's own involvement in all of this? She'd always freaked Felicity out, reminding her of Mrs Young's cold demeanor. She'd always put it on the fact that she'd lost her son and her husband on the same day but… Could she be cold enough to order her new husband's kidnapping? News stories said that she was devastated and Felicity had heard an executive talk to a board member saying that she hadn't stepped in QC and had locked herself in her room.

Felicity didn't know if she believed it. She really wanted to.

"Okay, we're moving onto brighter topics then!" Taylor pressed, shaken by Felicity's quietness. "How's Laptop Guy? Has he shown up again?"

Oh. Laptop Guy. Oliver Queen. Was Walter's own disappearance somehow linked to his shadier and shadier stories? At first, it was kind of fun and until Walter's disappearance, she'd found herself looking forward to Oliver Queen's more and more unbelievable cover stories.

Oliver Queen was most definitely up to something. Maybe that was why she wouldn't tell Taylor who he really was, staying purposefully vague about him. He was the son of someone important at QC. He came in with lame excuses but always needed her answers quickly. Taylor could say whatever she wanted and think that he was into her, Felicity knew better (which didn't mean that she wasn't enjoying the flirty banter).

She didn't know if he was lying to her to make himself interesting, if he really was that stupid jerk he acted like on TV, or if there was something more to him. Frankly, Felicity had decided to dig around until Walter came with his shady notebook of coded names of people who incidentally ended up murdered by the Hood. That notebook was the Holy Grail of Mysteries and she'd completely tossed Oliver Queen's random visits aside, deciding that he probably wanted to make himself more interesting than he really was.

Didn't mean she wasn't glad to see him every time. And looking forward to his extravagant tales. It was like he wasn't even trying anymore (or maybe trying too hard? She didn't know).

"Smoak, dammit, you're worrying me!"

"I'm okay! He showed up quickly with another request. He was being his usual flirt to get what he wanted and was glad when I delivered."

"Did you deliver your vagina?"

That sentence actually brought Felicity out of her funk and made her grimace.

"Gross, T."

"So that's what it takes to make you react? I need to mention the v-word?"

Felicity rolled her eyes.

"How long has it been since Wade's taken care of your needs? I mean, doesn't he get suspicious when you jump him every day Laptop Guys pays you a visit?"

Felicity chuckled and shook her head in disbelief.

"I don't do that! I don't… You're the one who keeps bringing him up!"

"If I didn't, you wouldn't tell me about his bullshit stories. I half-believe you're making all this stuff up, you know."

"Ha. Well. Oh, and I… I think I broke up with Wade."

This sentence was met with shocked silence. Taylor tilted her head, mouth agape, and blinking slowly, as if looking for something to say and how to react. She was probably wondering if she was supposed to be witty or compassionate — Taylor had never liked Wade, but that didn't mean she wanted Felicity to be hurting.

"You _think_? Okay, Smoak we're going to need to talk about how to prioritize information. For example. Your boss disappearing? Important and creepy, but not that impactful on your day-to-day life or super exciting for me. Breaking up with the guy you were dating for the past year and a half? Maybe lead with that next time?"

"I don't even… I mean. I think we broke up. He hasn't called or anything this week. Haven't seen him for two since we had some sort of 'talk' I guess."

Again, Taylor looked torn between being dumbfounded or offended.

"TWO WEEKS and I hear about it now?"

"I've sort of been busy. That's why we broke up, I wasn't making enough time for him I've been too caught up with work. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Taylor arched an eyebrow and shook her head in frustration.

"There's nothing wrong with you. Come on, Felicity can you finally admit that he wasn't made for you?"

"Taylor, I really…"

"No, okay I didn't say anything other than the fact that he was boring so far…"

"You didn't even let us take pictures as a couple at your wedding!" Felicity cut. She was tired and worried, the last thing she wanted was to have to suffer through Taylor's opinions about her now ex-boyfriend. Taylor never really needed to say anything. She was more a passive-aggressive figure that scared the living crap out of Felicity's boyfriends. She was worse than a big brother.

"Okay, that was a dick move, but in the end wasn't I right? You won't ever want to see pictures of you at my wedding with Wade!"

"It's not your choice to make!"

Taylor clenched her jaw and looked sheepish.

"Fine. You're right. But it doesn't change the fact that nothing's wrong with you… You know, yesterday, I made Lilly spinach and when I put it in front of her, she looked up at me and made this face."

Taylor pressed her lips together in a sort of grimace and half-shrugged in total defeat and resignation.

"That's how you look when you talk about Wade."

Felicity opened her mouth in protest. "I have never _once_ made that face!"

But Taylor was adamant and undeterred. Almost philosophical about it.

"Wade is your spinach. Healthy. Good for you. But not that exciting and it's okay. You were never the healthy type, have you seen what you eat? You could survive with ice cream only. You're into sweet things that make you melt."

As Taylor's words sunk, Felicity's eyebrows flew higher and higher on her forehead.

"Also, you showed more emotional turmoil about your boss disappearing than your boyfriend not calling you for a week. That says everything, don't you think? Spinach."

"Okay, okay! I get it. He wasn't made for me. I spent a year dating a normal guy like I'd always dreamed of and it's not all it's cracked up to be. I'll find someone who's a little bit more adventurous next time okay?"

Taylor's face showed her distrust in that statement.

"Yeah, I don't believe you. I just wish you could get some sort of repeat of Perfect Night. Couldn't you even consider that with Laptop Guy?"

And there it was again. Now that was becoming annoying. Oliver Queen might act the way he did but he was not into her. She had to remind herself of it. Because she was already craving his stupid visits knowing that he was just using her as a personal researcher, so if she let herself believe that his lies were true, that Taylor's perception from Felicity's descriptions was realistic, then she'd be a goner really quickly. She barely even stood a chance in the first place (though who couldn't be excited about a guy whose friends were into archery and organized scavenger hunts? She loved scavenger hunts!).

"Urgh, just let it go already. Please drop it. He even shows up with his bodyguard now. Who hits on a girl with his bodyguard sitting closely?"

Taylor made a face.

"Like, every celebrity. Is he a celebrity?"

Felicity felt panic seep into her chest as Taylor turned suspicious. Oh no. If Taylor even suspected that Oliver could be a celebrity she would literally never hear the end of it. Which, technically, he wasn't. Oliver more or less ranked along the Kardashian levels of 2008. People knew of them (Felicity didn't but that wasn't the point) but they weren't famous. It wasn't like Oliver had done any reality TV (which was surprising now that she thought about it. He totally could have. He had the face for it. Oh, what a face…)

"No, he isn't. He just has a bodyguard."

"Because he's seconds away from filing a restraining order?"

"What? No! He's the one seeking me out! I don't… Look. He has a bodyguard that follows him everywhere, and I've got enough of a foot to mouth problem to ask why the hell he feels the need to bring him along when he comes talk to me about scavenger hunts and weird arrows that I need to trace back, okay? Which he doesn't always do. Bring John Diggle along, I mean…"

"John Diggle?" Taylor cut.

"Yeah, the bodyguard. I think that's his name." Felicity mused. Yop. She was pretty sure she wasn't wrong.

"John Diggle!" Taylor repeated gleefully, with a slight undertone of wonder. "This is such an awesome name! Oh! I love it! John Diggle. His name rolls off your tongue. J_ohn Diggle_. So cool. I might just remember it."

Felicity rolled her eyes, amused at her friend's antics.

"Cool. You'll remember the name of a guy you'll probably never meet when you still call Mark "Creepy"."

"I said _might_. Not will. And Creepy's real name was Mark?"

"My point exactly."

"Smoak, it was literally ten years ago. Way to hold a grudge," Taylor smirked shamelessly.

"Whatever."

"So are you flying in for Christmas?" Taylor asked hopefully.

Felicity smiled coldly. "Yeah. After almost ten years without seeing her, I'm actually showing up at my mother's doorstep because I ran out of excuses."

"You should take a page from Laptop Guy's book." Taylor taunted.

"No," Felicity sighed. "No. She actually wants me there for once. She wants to do a Smoak family version of Hanukah where she doesn't get me anything because she's broke and I feel guilty so I give her four hundred bucks. I'm like an overcompensating dad, I swear. I take daddy issues to a whole new level at that point."

"Yikes. Well, at least we'll get to hang out? Even for just one afternoon."

"And see you basking in your happy life?" Felicity groaned.

"Yep." Taylor grinned.

"Okay," Felicity smirked back. "But only if I can hang out with your fam and listen to you tell your mom that she's not getting another grandchild this year."

Taylor's eyes gleamed with gleeful devilishness.

"That sounds like a plan."

* * *

**JUNE 2013**

"You're sulking."

Felicity's eyes lifted up from where she was sprawled on her couch to meet her friend's amused ones.

"I'm not sulking," she grumbled. "I'm offended."

John Diggle sighed and sat on the armrest wiping his face with a tired hand.

"Felicity, it has nothing to do with you."

"I know," she snorted. "Trust me, I know. I'm very aware that I don't influence his life decisions."

"Now, that's not true. The body count has dropped significantly since you've been added to the team. You are a good influence."

"_Was_. I _was_ a good influence," she corrected, playing with the cords of her M.I.T hoodie. "He's gone."

"Gone, not dead," Diggle insisted.

Felicity clenched her jaw and swallowed.

"How do you know he's not dead?" she asked in a small voice. "A man doesn't just drop a million dollars on his teammates' bank accounts before disappearing if he plans on reappearing."

Diggle shook his head dejectedly.

"I didn't know you could be so negative. He's not dead. Oliver didn't survive five years on a hellish island, he didn't become a vigilante, only to commit suicide when things go south. If anything, he wouldn't do that to Thea."

Felicity looked down on the floor, unconvinced.

"You saw him, Dig. He was broken. I've never… I've seen broken people in my life before. But never this…"

She couldn't help thinking back to her mother's puffy eyes all these years ago, and her constant refusal to get out of bed. She'd seen her empty eyes and heard her bland voice as she functioned automatically. For months, Felicity hadn't had a mother. She'd had a robot, who wouldn't talk however hard Felicity would try to get her mother to.

Seeing Oliver come back to the foundry to help her out was exactly the same experience. His eyes were distant and empty, lifeless. He barely answered her, didn't even react when she noticed the gaping wound at his chest and Dig sawed him up.

He only stayed long enough for Tommy's funeral then fled away without another word. It was stupid, really, but Felicity couldn't help but take it personally. She'd opened up to that man. She'd let him in, when she'd been apparently very good until now not to let a man in, and he'd done exactly like her father had. He'd left as suddenly as he'd come, bloody and broken. Except this time, it wasn't the backseat of her car. It was probably with fake IDs that he'd hidden in his stupid case for so long, and she couldn't find his trace.

What could she do when even facial recognition failed her?

"Felicity," Diggle said, his hand falling on her shoulder. "He'll be back. Give him time to process."

Felicity stayed quiet, and somber.

"But why on Earth would he give me a million dollars? What a jerk. The guy promises wine that he never delivers when he's lying to my face and when we need him to be physically here to keep fighting the battle that _he_ started in the first place, he's sending money? Do I look like I do this kind of thing for money?" she spat. "Wow, taken out of context that last sentence could really be awkward."

Diggle chuckled, but Felicity didn't lighten up.

"You said you'd only be there until Walter was saved."

Felicity's eyes flew up again, guiltily.

"Well now we're well past that. What kind of human being would I be if I stopped helping you guys when we obviously only started? The Undertaking made Starling City some sort of Ground Zero. More than ever, this city needs a vigilante. It needs a hero."

Diggle's smile turned a little sad.

"You're incredibly good at pep talks, you know that?"

Felicity snorted, shaking her head. If only he'd been willing to listen. Just to listen to her. Didn't he at least owe her that, instead of a million stupid dollars?

"I wish there was a way I could use that money to piss him off, but he obviously doesn't care enough about it. What's a million dollars for Oliver goddamn Queen, am I right?"

She suddenly stood up and walked around her kitchen counter to get to her fridge. She took a beer out and tossed it to her friend who was watching her, smiling and keeping quiet. It was getting on her last nerve, his whole 'everything's cool' attitude. Didn't he ever freak out? Felicity found that she'd pay good money to see John Diggle panic. Maybe not a million dollars but she'd consider ten grand.

"I told you it wasn't personal, Felicity," John said calmly. "He'll be back."

"Everything is in shambles. Everything is ruined. Did you read the news? There's a company looking to do a takeover of Queen Consolidated. Wherever he is, he must have access to the news. He must have at least _heard_ about it. And where is he?"

Her voice wavered and she bit her lip to prevent it from wobbling. She hid her face by opening the freezer, grabbing the pint of ice cream she always kept in case of emergencies. She was freaking out. Now was an emergency.

"You can't even hood up to help people, the foundry's entire equipment's been destroyed," she added, taking the lid off with a hand shaking with anger.

Mostly, it was anger aimed at herself. She was an idiot. An absolute idiot. How could she have had a crush on _him_, of all people? He was everything she didn't look for in a man. Brawn over brains. A self-righteous attitude. A hero-complex. Urgh, she didn't need that. She'd experienced unavailable men with massive commitment issues enough when she was at M.I.T (hello Smug Bastard!). She really didn't need Oliver Queen to her list of men she crushed on.

And yet.

She was in over her head. And she knew she didn't stand a chance, but in the end it wasn't even about that. _He_'d come looking for her, _he_'d asked her to give him and his stupid crusade a chance. And she'd liked it. It had been exactly everything that had been lacking from her life since she'd finished college. She'd experienced excitement and laughter and buzzing energy for the first time in so long… She resented Oliver Queen for introducing all of this to her and then taking it away as if she didn't have a say in the matter.

What if she wanted to keep going? What if being the Hood meant more than crossing names off a list? What if being the Hood, a team, meant hope rather than dead bodies? What if it meant justice, and not just revenge? Whether he was aware of it or not, Oliver Queen had started something that Felicity _knew_ could be more.

Sure, she understood why he'd left. Losing Tommy… What a price to pay. Felicity's throat tightened at the thought of losing Taylor. She couldn't even fathom the idea. Losing Taylor would be losing a part of herself. She could only imagine what it was like for Oliver, to feel robbed of his life, to get it back, get his friend and brother back, have another taste of what he could have only to lose it as fast as it'd come.

Maybe she'd leave town too, if Taylor died in her arms. Maybe she wouldn't be able to deal either.

"What are we going to do, John?" she asked, rhetorically.

What was she supposed to do now that she knew she could help? Now that she knew that there was so much more to life, now that she knew that she could be more? She wasn't a badass like him, she couldn't fight by herself. And Diggle didn't seem willing to wear the suit in Oliver's absence.

"We're going to take it one day at a time," he said quietly. "But you're right, maybe we should begin with the foundry."

"Do you really think he'll be back?" she asked, fighting the hope that was spreading in her chest.

"Yes."

Felicity bit a spoonful of ice cream and let it melt on her tongue, letting the taste calm her. She closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply. Okay. Freak out over. She could do it. She could wait him out. Oliver wasn't her father. Mostly, she couldn't let herself compare him to her father because this would soon become creepy.

Digg was right. What was up with this negativity? She was usually such a positive person! Felicity shook her head. Oliver needed them more than ever. He needed them not to judge, to give him space, to give him time to grieve. He needed them to believe in him. To him, he'd failed Starling City, he'd failed Tommy. He'd failed his entire mission.

Felicity couldn't fail him. She wouldn't use his money on her (even though she could really use a new car, one he hadn't bled all over). She frowned, calculating quickly.

"Then we'll begin with the foundry," she nodded decidedly. "Verdant wasn't too shaken by the earthquake, I think I read that Thea wanted to open it back in a month. From my horrified memories, I'd say that the main structure is okay."

A new state of the art computer, with massive processors and a fully protected server? That'd cost a lot but she knew a few people who might be able to help out and give her a discount. She'd need to make a list. Felicity loved lists. She picked a piece of paper and began writing down everything they were going to need if they were doing this.

"What are you doing?" Digg asked.

"How efficient are these massive biceps of yours at moving pieces of concrete around?" Felicity asked distractedly.

"Very," John chuckled. "You want to set up the foundry again?"

Felicity nodded. "Yep. It wasn't very well designed in the first place. More like terrible, really. And I'm not just talking about Oliver's use of Windows Millenium. I mean, does a vigilante _have_ to stay in a place with barely any light?"

She didn't see Diggle's lips spread in a proud smile, but she heard him get up and take another sip of his beer.

"So we'll put my computers here, okay?" she showed him the schematics she'd quickly drawn of the foundry setting. "There, Oliver's whole gear. I think we should display his suit in a glass thingy so it doesn't get dusty, and we'll put his arrows over there, as far away from me as possible."

This time, she heard Diggle's short laughter.

"Where do you think we should put the training mats, for maximum efficiency?" she enquired.

Diggle looked her drawing over, and pointed at a specific place. "There, would be fine."

Felicity nodded, seemed think something over, then drew an odd 'H' right across her desk.

"What's that?" Diggle asked.

Felicity lifted her head and grinned, blushing.

"This, is where I'll put the brand new salmon ladder we're going to buy. If I'm spending my million dollars on the new foundry setting, you bet your ass I'm going to keep my eye candy. That? He owes me."

John burst into a genuine laugh that brought a full-on smile on Felicity's face. Yeah. The team was back.

"It's going to take a while," Diggle commented, reading the list that Felicity was quickly drafting.

The young woman nodded. "He has that long to come around. We'll set up the foundry, and we won't come after him as long as everything is not ready. Or, if that stupid takeover takes place, I draw the line at losing my job. Some of us have student loans to pay back."

"I thought you attended M.I.T on a scholarship."

Felicity looked down on her list awkwardly. "So did I, but I had to use some of it for family issues." Her tone was final. Diggle understood what she meant. "And how do you know that by the way?" she pressed on suddenly.

Diggle smiled, unapologetic. "Oh come on, like you didn't run a background check on me!"

Felicity grinned too, and shrugged. "As far as I knew, you guys could have both been psychos trying to make me work for evil under good pretenses, in an Alias-like situation. Working for the enemy I thought I was fighting against!"

Diggle arched an eyebrow. "The Hood targeted one percenters who were famous for being cynical assholes. Now, being a psycho? I'm not arguing against that, but an Alias-like situation? _Come on_!"

"I really do know how to pick 'em, heh?" Felicity joked, catching herself too late.

Well. It wasn't like anyone couldn't see through her, was it? Diggle's eyes softened as he tilted his head.

"Trust me on this, you want way more than what Oliver Queen can offer you," he eventually said, his voice and tone as kind as ever.

Once more, Felicity shrugged. "I know, I know. Urgh. I just wish he wasn't so damn beautiful. It'd be easier to focus on his flaws. God knows he has many."

Diggle chuckled again, as the bell rung from outside the door. Both friends stilled, worriedly.

"Are you expecting someone?" Diggle whispered, his hand flying to his waist to grab his gun.

Eyes wide, Felicity shook her head no. It couldn't be the police, could it? They always yelled "POLICE!" in the movies, to warn them. And Detective Lance had been demoted and had sort of let her know that he wouldn't go after her. He'd even destroyed the records of her interrogation at the station.

The bell rang again, and Diggle slowly and quietly stepped towards the door, his gun drawn, to peek through the peephole. When he looked back, he was frowning in surprise.

"What?" Felicity whispered. But soon enough, a barely muffled, very recognizable voice shrilled through the silence.

"FELICITY SMOAK OPEN THAT DOOR RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR I'LL ASK YOUR CREEPY NEIGHBOR TO TAKE IT DOWN. Yeah that's right I'm talking to you weirdo!" the voice added to someone.

Diggle's eyebrows rose dramatically on his forehead, as Felicity gulped upon identifying the voice.

"Friend of yours?"

"I'm in so much trouble," Felicity deadpanned, running towards the door, shooting a mean glare at Diggle's gun. "Put that back where it belongs! You'll freak her out with this thing! Oh drop the smirk you know what I'm talking about!"

Diggle did what he was told, holding his hands out in surrender, while Felicity opened the door.

"Taylor! What a surprise!"

"_Really_?" the young woman answered on an ice-cold tone. "This is a surprise? You go AWOL for _two_ _weeks_ and I'm not supposed to worry?"

"T…"

"What can I say," Taylor kept going, her voice growing angrier and angrier with each word. "Lilly was getting worried that her _godmother_ wouldn't respond to my texts and calls. I thought you were _dead_."

Felicity winced, looking appropriately guilty.

"I'm sorry T. I really meant to call but so much happened over the last…"

"I know how much happened over the last few weeks!" Taylor snapped, and even Diggle could hear the worry in her voice. "Shit goes down but you always call back, Smoak! You might not want to talk to your mom and all, but you don't screen my calls, you take the time to at least facetime for a minute just so I can see your pretty face and make sure you're not laying in a gutter somewhere, being eaten by coyotes!"

Felicity frowned. "There aren't any coyotes in Starling City. Crows, maybe if you want to be metaphoric…"

"I don't want to be metaphoric!" Felicity's friend ground out.

"Well had I known you'd show up unannounced…" Felicity started.

"I always show up here unannounced!" Taylor cut, stepping inside the apartment, rolling a little suitcase behind her. "Even more when I worry about you!"

Diggle was still standing behind the door, shocked by the exchange that was taking place before him. He'd never seen such a weird interaction: he could see Felicity's happiness upon seeing her friend, feeling that was reciprocated, but he could also hear and witness the worry and the annoyance. Then his eyes crossed path with Felicity's friend's, who frowned and tilted her head.

"Who are you?" she said like he didn't belong here.

Oddly enough, Digg found that he liked that Felicity had friends who obviously looked after her. She was so often with Oliver and him since January, he'd often wondered if she'd stopped having a social life to join Oliver's crusade.

Apparently, she sort of had. He hadn't known Felicity had a goddaughter and a friend who felt so strongly protective of her. He suddenly understood where Felicity got that massive backbone that meant she wouldn't take Oliver's bullshit. Either she'd always had it, or she'd learnt it with the friend that was standing next to her.

Taylor whipped her head to look at Felicity, then opened her mouth, already pointing an accusatory finger at Felicity's chest.

"You forgot to answer my texts to hook up with Laptop Guy?" she screamed. "Not cool, dude!"

"Laptop Guy?" Diggle said, staring at Felicity, connecting the dots and barking out a laugh.

The poor woman looked like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place, unable to decide how to play the situation out. She glared at Diggle, but the animosity was tamed by the awkwardness that she was feeling. He watched as Felicity pinched her nose and closed her eyes, breathing in and out as slowly as possible.

Oh this was going to be fun.

"Taylor, this is my friend John Diggle."

Taylor gave him a long once over, jaw clenched, considering Felicity's words.

"Laptop Guy's bodyguard?"

"Yeah," Felicity nodded, avoiding Diggle's eyes that she knew would be filled with amusement.

"It's a long title though," Digg intervened and she'd been right.

She could hear how much he was enjoying the situation in his voice. And she hated every single second of it.

"You can call me Digg," her friend introduced himself, holding out his hand. "And you are?"

"I'm terrible with names, so don't be freaked if I call you Beautiful or something. I'm Taylor Young, Felicity's best friend," Taylor claimed, taking his hand and shaking it forcefully.

Again, Felicity slid a worried glance in Diggle's direction. To his credit, he didn't even seem surprised anymore. Taylor couldn't have appeared in a background check, and Felicity had gotten used to never talking about her personal life. There was no way Digg could know about Taylor.

"Nice to meet you."

Taylor grinned, then twisted her head around to check over Felicity's shoulder. The I.T specialist followed her line of sight, confused.

"So, where is he?" Taylor enquired excitedly.

Felicity blinked, getting more and more confused.

"Where's who?"

"Laptop Guy of course! If his bodyguard's here, I would assume that he is not that far?"

Diggle watched as Felicity's face fell. Considering Taylor's candor regarding this entire situation, the ex-army was growing more and more certain that Felicity had not declined Oliver's true identity to her best friend. He'd never really been worried that Felicity would tell Oliver's green secret, but he wouldn't have blamed her if she'd told her friend that Oliver Queen was showing up randomly at the office with the weirdest requests.

When she'd brought Oliver down to the foundry the night Moira shot him, she'd said Oliver's behavior finally added up. But Diggle had never suspected that deep down, Felicity had always seen completely through his bullshit and known there was more at stake.

"You're totally sleeping with him, aren't you?"

Diggle blinked. _Or_, she'd known that her friend would harass her about knowing a "celebrity" and didn't want to be bothered. Made sense too.

"I'm not sleeping with him!" Felicity protested on a tone that proved that it was not the first conversation on that topic. "And he's not even here, he fled the country, that's why John's here in the first place."

Taylor smirked, and chuckled.

"He gave you the slip?" she mocked.

"Yeah," Diggle shrugged. "Left to party with a few beach girls in Europe for the summer. Said this whole Undertaking situation was too much of a bummer. I was hoping Felicity there could do some computer magic and help me find him."

Felicity nodded, appreciating the cover story. Which was realistic enough, considering the persona that Oliver insisted he needed to embody. Taylor waved the thing off, making herself at home as Diggle grabbed his beer back. Felicity was still eyeing the interaction with anxiety, and Diggle took note of her unwillingness to mix both of her worlds. The truth was, he couldn't blame her.

"Charming behavior from the guy," Taylor deadpanned. "You've got a real winner there, Smoak."

"I don't…" Felicity began, pinching her nose again. "Never mind."

"I should probably go…" Diggle began.

"Nonsense!" Taylor cut, as Felicity nodded furiously. "I'm finally meeting one of Smoak's non-lame friends from QC. No way am I letting you go. Finish that beer. Smoak is more of a red wine kinda gal for some weird reason. I'm surprised she even has beer."

"T, John has a meeting with his nephew I'm sure you of all people can understand that kind of commitment," Felicity chipped in, a little too fast.

John tried to bite back a smile and hide his amusement. "I can probably stay a few more minutes."

The look that Felicity shot him summed up a word: traitor.

"You've got a nephew?" Taylor asked, grabbing a beer for herself and opening it as Diggle acquiesced. "How old?"

"Eight."

"Oh! Almost like my daughter!"

Diggle blinked in surprise, but shook it out quickly. Not quickly enough, considering Taylor's own smirk.

"Heh, you're trying to do the math, right? Either I'm the hottest thirty-something you've ever met or I got knocked up at sixteen."

"Don't say 'knocked up'." Felicity grumbled, slumping on a stool at the bar, forfeiting her previous desire to get Diggle out the door.

"I wish I could say that I'd stay this hot in my thirties," Taylor continued, rubbing a comforting hand over Felicity's shoulders to soften the 'knocked up' blow.

"How's the monkey?" she asked.

"Mad that I didn't take her along with me and had to leave her with Jason. Have you ever tried to explain to a nine year-old that you're leaving her behind so you can go check if your best friend isn't dead without traumatizing her?"

Felicity winced again. "I'm sorry! I texted you back that I was fine!"

"Any serial killer could take your phone and text in your stead."

"She's right," Diggle commented.

Felicity shot him an annoyed glare. "Not you too!" Then she turned to face her best friend. "I don't even live in the Glades! That's the only part that has crumbled and fallen. I've just been busy looking for… Urgh, I hate saying it, looking for Laptop Guy."

Again, Diggle wondered why Taylor wasn't more interested in knowing the name of Felicity's mysterious guy. Which led him to wonder about what exactly Felicity had told her friend.

"For the past two weeks?" Taylor pressed.

Felicity bit down her tongue. She'd spent a day at the hospital for a check up, then she'd attended Tommy's funeral with Oliver and tried to assess what they'd lost in the foundry. Oliver had disappeared for hours at a time, sulking on his own until he'd finally split. She had been overwhelmed with a lot of things, and keeping track of Oliver had been a full-time job. Deep down, both Diggle and her knew that Oliver disappearing for good was a possibility. They'd both just wished it'd stay one.

"I'm curious," Felicity deflected, "what did you expect to find? Or do, for that matter?"

Taylor tilted her head, and gave her a long, hard look that reminded her of the ones she herself had thrown at Oliver when he came with his stupid stories. Taylor dug her fingers in the pockets of her coat and took a paper out.

"This is the list of all the hospitals and morgues in Starling City."

Everyone heard Felicity's gulp.

"You really thought that I was dead?"

"You wouldn't pick up!" Taylor opposed, frustrated. "What was I supposed to think? You've always called me! Even during that Spring Break after your night of debauchery with Perfect Night when your friends harassed me because you hadn't come back!"

"Perfect Night?" Diggle wondered out loud. "Is that a name?"

Felicity hung her head down in defeat, opening her mouth and looking for an answer, but Taylor anticipated.

"Yes. Like I said, I'm terrible with guy names. I'm better at remembering details about them."

"Like the night they make you spend?" Diggle tried to understand.

"No," Taylor smirked. "Not me. This technique is for Smoak. She only dates dicks with one-syllable names but I just can't remember them. So I have a mnemonic way to memorize it. Creepy, McStalker, Asshole Cole, Smug Bastard, Perfect Night and Wade. Wade was so boring there was nothing interesting to remember him by. Oh, and Laptop Guy!"

"Whom I'm not dating, just like I never dated McStalker," Felicity insisted on mentioning, then she punched Taylor in the arm as Diggle eyed Felicity, impressed. "And you have to stop with this nickname nonsense, we're not seventeen anymore!"

"You weren't kidding when you said you knew how to pick them," Diggle mumbled.

Felicity rolled her eyes, really annoyed now.

"As you've probably figured out, T over here is a huge drama queen."

"Yeah, that's true," Taylor agreed. "But these names are earned!"

"No they weren't!" Felicity protested. "She's exaggerating! Please, let's talk about something else! _Please_, for my sake."

Taylor rolled her eyes, but took mercy on her friend and shook her head, taking a seat next to Felicity.

"So, bodyguard, heh? Aside from being ditched by your client, how do you like that?"

Diggle shrugged half-heartedly. "It sometimes feels like it's a little more than what I bargained for, I have to admit."

Felicity snorted. "You don't say."

"Is he still paying you?" Taylor insisted. "I'm only asking 'cause maybe you could consider his payment as payment to protect Smoak?"

Diggle chuckled as Felicity sighed in despair.

"Protecting Felicity comes for free. I've been teaching her a little bit of self-defense."

"You didn't tell me that!" Taylor accused, mouth agape.

"It slipped my mind," Felicity lied, eyes a little wide. "Sorry. Never had to use it though! It's just in case!"

"Mmh," Taylor mused. "So you've sort of acted like a bodyguard by proxy?"

Diggle pondered for a second, then nodded. "I guess you could say that."

"Good. I'll feel better now that I know Smoak has people looking out for her. It doesn't look like it, but she has the weirdest tendency to get herself into trouble even when she's trying to protect herself. Remember the pot-brownie incident?"

"How could I forget…" Felicity grumbled, holding onto the hope that Taylor wouldn't get into more details about what happened that day.

"I would be the worst client for a bodyguard," Taylor thought out loud. "Can you imagine? I think I'd spend my day singing I Will Always Love You and laughing hysterically at the joke because it would _never_ get old for me. And the guy's growing annoyance would just fuel my desire to push things further."

Felicity barked out a laugh. "Hey, here's an idea."

Diggle could honestly say he had never, not in a million years, thought about this.

"Don't you dare," he warned.

"And you've never even heard me sing!" Taylor added. "I'm more of a rapping gal, actually… Oh, do you think anyone's ever _rapped_ I Will Always Love You?"

"I sincerely hope not," Digg answered despite himself.

"How long did you say you were staying by the way?" Felicity said, feeling that John would not be enjoying the joke for a lot longer.

"Well, I'm only here for the week-end, I'd sorta invented that mantra that you weren't dead. Worst case scenario, you had both arms broken which prevented you from calling."

Felicity frowned. "Both arms broken? How could I have texted you then? It makes no sense."

"Well, Muscle-Man over there would have helped you of course. I mean, I didn't think this entire thing through obviously."

"Obviously," Felicity said, and Diggle thought at the same time.

"But now that I can testify that you're just a selfish jerk who doesn't think that her well-being is important to other people who have _always_ been there for her," Taylor jabbed, prompting Felicity to groan, "I think we can skip to plan B, and I would absolutely love to invite Mr Muscle to come along."

The dread that Diggle saw on Felicity's face gave him an idea that he probably wouldn't like the offer.

"What's plan B?" Felicity asked flippantly.

"PARTYING of course! It's been so long and for once I don't have Lilly with me!"

Before anyone could say anything, Taylor kept on going.

"I've heard of this brand new fantastic club that everyone's talking about even in Vegas! It's called Verdant, I'm sure you've never been before, we should totally check it out!"

She would have added something, but Diggle was coughing, choking on the beer that he'd been finishing. The good thing was that it also worked as a distraction from Felicity's blushing face.

"Are you okay?" Taylor asked, as Diggle shook his head yes.

"Verdant is in the Glades, the area that has been hit by the earthquake," Felicity explained. "It's shut down until further notice."

"Oh… So you know of a few clubs!"

Felicity shrugged noncommittally. Diggle found himself admiring her talent at deflecting. She was scarily good, and he made a mental note to keep that knowledge in mind.

"Anyway, John couldn't have joined us, he has a girlfriend that he doesn't get to spend a lot of time with."

"What are you, his publicist?" Taylor joked, looking down on the bar. "Fine, we won't go to a club, we can just have a few drinks. You're no fun. Are you redecorating?"

"What?" Felicity asked, then she saw that Taylor was looking at the schematics roughly drawn before and tried to keep calm. "Mmmh, it's for Digg. His office. He was showing me his ideas."

Taylor looked Diggle straight in the eyes and he knew that Felicity hadn't fooled her friend. Once more, he couldn't help but wonder what Taylor knew about Oliver, about him, and their relationship with Felicity. She obviously knew that Oliver existed, and that Felicity was attracted to him. How had Felicity hidden the fact that Oliver was important enough to have a bodyguard without telling her his name? She seemed nosy enough to want to know everything that was going on in Felicity's life. How could she not be nosy enough to wonder what "Laptop Guy"'s real name was?

And most of all: how had Felicity managed to keep herself from blurting it out in almost a year? For all he knew, Oliver had started going to her with random stories even before Diggle was let in on his secret. Since Taylor seemed so… casual in her way to talk about "Laptop Guy", it meant that it was a topic that was often brought up.

He remembered when Felicity had been shocked the first time she'd literally witnessed a murder, and yelled at him to leave her alone at the foundry to sulk. He was only now understanding who she might have wanted to talk to about this. Her person of choice was sitting in front of him, obviously wanting to ask him questions. And he had an idea what she would enquire about.

As if on cue (making Diggle seriously wonder if Taylor didn't have secret powers), Felicity's cellphone started ringing. She threw it a surprised look when the name "WALTER STEELE" was displayed on her screen. He had been calling her often to ask her updates about Oliver, whom Felicity was trying her best to cover.

"It shouldn't take long," Felicity whispered nervously as she picked up.

"Take your time," Taylor replied with a predatory smirk.

She had barely walked out of the room that Diggle anticipated Taylor's questions.

"Whatever you're going to ask me, don't. I don't know what Felicity told you about him…"

"I'm not interested in Laptop Guy. He's a douche who strung her along by hitting on her and coming to her with flimsy excuses only to disappear to hook up with random chicks when she wouldn't put out. I hope he gets gonorrhea on his trip and that it itches like a bitch."

Diggle's eyebrow rose on his forehead. Of course Taylor wouldn't like Oliver. Of course Oliver had played the charming card, and of course from an outsider's perspective, Oliver had hit on Felicity only to get what he wanted.

"Felicity told you that?"

Taylor snorted. "No. Felicity won't talk about him, which proves that it matters to her. We don't talk about the men that matter."

"But you knew who I was," he couldn't help but notice, a little put off.

"Don't worry," Taylor smirked, "I only remembered who you are because your name is hilarious. Diggle. John Diggle. It's such an awesome name."

"So happy you like it," Diggle said wryly.

Taylor sighed, and swallowed.

"Look, I might be a handful but I take Smoak's happiness very seriously. The girl deserves it, and I won't have a moronic son-of-whoever at QC mess with her." She plunged her eyes in Digg's earnestly. "You look like a good guy, and you seem to really like her."

"I do," Diggle replied, trying not to smile. "For what it's worth, she can really take care of herself, you know."

It was funny, now that he thought about it, how much everyone seemed to want to protect Felicity when she was proving time and time again that she didn't need anyone. She seemed so independent, and yet so innocent…

"Oh, trust me I know firsthand that she can. She punched Asshole Cole in the face and mashed his family jewels."

Diggle would never admit it to anyone, and if he really thought about it he wasn't that surprised that Felicity had done so, but he couldn't help but feel impressed at that new bit of information. Felicity Meghan Smoak was definitely more than what she appeared to be, that was for sure.

"But if it ever gets out of hand, I'd appreciate another pair of eyes on her…" Taylor kept going. "I wish I lived closer to her so she didn't seem so damn alone all the time. She says she has friends at QC but that dick Wade was so freaking clingy I'm sure she stopped hanging out with most of them."

"You really don't like the guys Felicity dates, do you?"

"Heh. It's more complicated than that," Taylor admitted, staring at Felicity's bedroom door where they could hear her still talk on the phone. "They usually exploit her insecurities and I hate that. She seems to like you, Mr Muscle, so I'd advise that you don't mess this up. Once you have Felicity Smoak's friendship and loyalty, there's very little you can't count on her for. Don't abuse that."

"I had figured. But I'll keep it in mind."

She bit her lip, and looked away for a second.

"Does he even like her? Laptop Guy?"

Diggle found himself ill-at-ease with the conversation. Taylor had no idea what she was talking about, and Felicity was obviously trying her best to keep her away from all of this.

"She earned his respect and his trust. Believe me, that's way more than what he's felt for a woman in a very long time and that's as much as he can offer right now. He needs someone like her on many different levels, and whether she's aware or not, she is making a difference."

He saw in Taylor's eyes that he'd said the right thing, and took it as his cue to leave.

"Tell Felicity I'll see her on Monday. My nephew can only wait so long."

Taylor smiled, a true one that Diggle found he actually appreciated. "I usually drop by in August with my daughter and leave my husband to fend for himself back home since he works like a crazy person. I know your nephew and my daughter will think the other one has cooties but maybe it could be fun for her to have a friend her age over here and have a play date of some sort?"

Diggle smiled back. "Why not? I'll talk it over with Felicity. I guess I'll see you around then?"

"It was great meeting you, John Diggle."

"So I'm boring enough to get called by my name?" he joked.

Taylor shrugged one shoulder. "That, or you're actually the first man in Smoak's life that I approve of. I secretly call Wade 'Spinach-Wade' but it riles Felicity up."

Diggle barked out a laugh. "It was great meeting you too."

Spinning on his heels, Diggle let himself out of the door discreetly, sighing as Taylor started mumbling.

"…will alwayyyyyyys love youuuuuuuu."

As soon as she heard the door close (loudly), the young woman texted her husband, letting him know that she'd 'slightly overreacted' in regards to Felicity's health. Truth was, she had also been a little bit curious about Laptop Guy. Felicity had barely ever mentioned him but gotten home later and later, dodging a lot of her calls over the past months. She'd also noticed that Felicity didn't skype as much, preferring calls (that were often interrupted) and texts.

And now Laptop Guy had vanished into thin air, leaving Felicity and his bodyguard hanging? How shady was that? Taylor knew how reluctant her best friend was at opening up about things that bothered her. Hell, she never even spoke about her absentee father. Taylor knew how it was between the two of them. They waited until the other was ready to push them to talk.

Taylor opened her suitcase, digging the bottle of Patrón that she'd brought along with her thinking that best or worst case scenario she'd need it, just as Felicity was coming out of her bedroom.

"Oh, John's left."

Taylor's lips spread in a sly grin.

"Time to party Smoak. We have a toast to make: you've survived an Undertaking."

"Fine, fine. Let's get drunk."

The grin grew wider, thinking she was on the right path to get Felicity to talk about Laptop Guy and get over her crush.

She was very disappointed when Felicity stayed mum, even when she came back in August. She also found then that John Diggle was not one to trash talk about his clients. And that he most definitely had Felicity's back.

[**NEXT:** PART V — TEAM ARROW SEASON 2]

* * *

**Author's Note:** And that's how Taylor and Diggle met. I hope it delivered and you weren't disappointed by the lack of "real" Oliver presence. Next chapter is set during the summer after season 2 and is written from Oliver's point of view to make it up to you (and to me, I have to admit: I missed him). It'll also have Taylor's POV about Oliver and Felicity.

I hope you liked that penultimate chapter. Let me know what you thought!


	5. Part V

**And here is the last chapter of this story (heh, it ended up being posted faster than I got it written — 5 days vs 2 full months). I hope it won't disappoint. Be warned: there's a good layer of jealous!Oliver ahead. Thanks to everyone who reviewed (guests especially since I can't answer you!). This chapter is set during ****the summer between season 2 and season 3 and is as canon as possible. There are a few short references to what happened in the comics (Arrow 2.5) but nothing that'll prevent anyone from understanding the chapter. Now without further ado…**

**PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS**

**PART V.**

"_So he took the wrong woman. I love you."_

— Oliver Queen, episode 2.23

**AUGUST 2014**

Oliver tried Felicity's cellphone for the fifteenth time as he got off his motorcycle and left his helmet on the seat. Again, her chipper voicemail welcomed him immediately.

"Felicity, it's me again. I'm getting worried and parking at your place. Call me."

As he turned, Oliver witnessed Diggle parking in a spot right behind him and getting out of the car looking surprised.

"She's still not answering," Oliver explained. "Do you have her spare key?"

"We are not using her spare key unless she's not opening her door and we get reasons to worry," Diggle sighed.

Oliver felt bad for waking Diggle up on a Saturday at ten. But he and Felicity had plans to review the papers from the lawyers in order to prepare for the hearing about QC that was coming up at the end of the month. He knew technically Felicity had not gone to law school but she was very good at finding precedents and training him at answering lawyers without snapping at them.

"I looked up her cellphone's position from the foundry it says she's home."

"Her car's here. I'm sure everything's fine. She probably overslept."

"Felicity doesn't oversleep," Oliver countered, stepping towards her town house.

Though he wouldn't blame her for that. She'd been working like a crazy person lately, accepting a position at Kord Industries that was way below her qualifications just so she could be available at five and head to the foundry for their night job. Then she spent her week-ends going over the papers from the lawyers in order to help Oliver get his company back. They had help from Walter and decided to retrieve it via a some sort of bidding thing (Oliver was still fuzzy on the details), but Felicity was helping him figure out what all the lawyer-language could mean.

If he was honest with himself, he'd admit that he didn't really need Felicity that much. Or yeah, he needed her. But not for that purpose. He didn't understand anything that was in the contracts but he paid lawyers in order to explain things slowly. Oliver just found that when he didn't see Felicity everyday, he didn't feel good and he missed her. He was very aware that it was pathetic. He saw her literally every night of the week. And yet he couldn't do without seeing her face, and couldn't find an excuse that wasn't a date to hang out with her during the week-end. So when she'd offered to give him a hand with his company, he'd jumped eagerly at the opportunity. So eagerly that Diggle had shaken his head in utter despair to Felicity's complete bafflement.

So far, she hadn't missed any of their meetings except for this one time when she'd had a doctor's appointment but she'd warned him by putting it on his agenda. He remembered vividly the deep blush that had colored her cheeks when he'd asked if everything was alright with her and she'd mumbled something about her "yearly gynecologist appointment, that she'd only remembered about because Lyla was pregnant". The ramble that had followed was so adorable and awkward, Oliver felt sort of bad for letting it get out of hand.

So that was why he was so worried that day. Because Felicity hadn't told him she would be late or busy. Because after one hour without a text and considering the kind of job they had (at night), shit happened and Oliver still remembered that night last year when the Count had called to taunt him. And that other night a few months before when Slade did the same.

He pounded on the door, Diggle right behind him. Despite his reassuring words, Oliver could read the worry on his face, which did nothing to appease his growing anxiety.

"Felicity!" he called, knocking loudly once more.

He waited a few seconds, but no one came to the door. He tried turning the handle, scared that the door was opened and they'd find the apartment trashed, but it stayed locked, prompting another set of noisy pounding.

Finally, he heard a sound from behind the door and soon enough it was opened violently.

"Oh my god, what's with all the ruckus already?" someone whined.

Oliver was already sighing with relief but his breath caught in his chest when he realized that it wasn't Felicity who was greeting him. It was a tall, slender, dark-haired kid who was eyeing him with attitude. She had one bowl literally filled with cereals in one hand, while the other one was holding the door strongly.

He was honestly too baffled to find something to say. Oliver found himself staring at the number on the little house, worried that he had somehow gotten mistaken but no. He was at the right address. He'd slept in that house by himself a few weeks back.

Who the hell was that kid?

"Oh hey Lilly!" Diggle greeted behind him.

The child — Oliver thought she was around eleven considering her height — looked up and her entire demeanor changed. She went from annoyed to delightfully surprised.

"Mr D.!" she exclaimed, a smile lighting her face.

"You know her?" Oliver deadpanned. What the hell was going on?

"Yeah," Dig replied shortly. "Felicity didn't tell me you guys were here already! When did you and Taylor get there?"

Oliver frowned. Taylor? Who on Earth was that Taylor person? How did Felicity know them? And who the hell was that kid?

The girl — Lilly, apparently — brought a spoonful of cereals to her mouth and held out her fist for Digg to bump, which he did promptly under Oliver's completely dumbfounded stare.

_Who was Taylor?_

"Yesterday, it was a surprise!" the girl answered. Then she stopped ignoring Oliver and side-eyed him like an annoying fly. "Who is he? What does he want with Aunt Fleety?"

"Aunt Fleety?" Oliver repeated, finding new layers of incomprehension.

Diggle's smile turned highly amused, and Oliver found he did not like the glint that suddenly sparkled in his eyes.

"Oh trust me this is going to be fun," he promised the girl, ignoring Oliver's surprise and insistent stares.

"Can anyone explain what the hell is going on over here?" he snapped.

"Language! Is he always that impolite?" she grumbled. Oliver did not like her attitude one bit. Nor did he like the way she looked at him. "Aunt Fleety's sleeping," Lilly stated flatly, addressing Diggle again like Oliver wasn't even there. "They were up all night and made a lot of noise in her bedroom. You know how they are when they get together!" she added with a jaded roll of her eyes.

Oliver's heart stopped, his eyebrows flying up his forehead. He opened his mouth, sliding a glance to Diggle who seemed to be having the time of his life. He obviously knew something Oliver didn't, and considering how much Diggle was nagging him about growing a pair already and ask Felicity out, he figured there might be a reason for it.

A reason he wouldn't like.

"Yeah I know," Diggle laughed, like he wasn't talking about _Felicity making noise in her room with a guy_.

Gross.

"Maybe we should come back another time," Oliver bit out, trying to tamper a growing anger that he had no right to feel.

So Felicity had completely forgotten about him to hook up with another guy? While a kid was there to _hear_ the whole thing? What was wrong with her? The least she could have done was warn him that she wouldn't be available that morning!

He knew offering space to Felicity while she hung out with people who obviously mattered to her to the point where Diggle knew about them but not him was the right thing to do but deep down, Oliver wanted to meet this Taylor guy, see what he was up against (yes, because he was currently trying to find the right time to ask Felicity out on a date).

Maybe it was just some friend with benefit thing. Which wasn't threatening to him. The guy would leave, and Felicity not mention him like nothing happened. Then — Oliver could already picture it — everything would become completely right and he'd ask her, and hopefully she'd say yes and not think this was all a joke, and he wouldn't screw everything up so the guy would never come back.

That sounded like a plan. A cowardly plan based on a lot of "if"s but Oliver didn't really mind that much. He was too annoyed that Felicity had basically forgotten about him as soon as that guy had shown up.

"No, no, Taylor will want to see us," Diggle reacted quickly, grabbing Oliver's arm and pushing the door wider to get inside the little house. "Please Lilly, can you go tell your godmother that Oliver and John are here?"

"We really should give Felicity some privacy," Oliver lied, as Lilly stepped back to let them in.

She rolled her eyes once more and sighed desperately. "Fiiiiiiiiine. It better be worth it like you say, otherwise I'm losing a morning of peace and I do not get much of these."

"Oh the drama that is your life," Diggle joked.

Lilly stuck her tongue out and walked down the hallway, knocking slightly on Felicity's bedroom door. Meanwhile, Diggle stepped around the bar and began fidgeting with the coffee maker. In Felicity's living-room, the TV was on the Disney channel, showing just why Lilly was so disgruntled by the interruption.

"What the hell is going on? How do you know that kid and that Taylor person?"

Diggle chuckled. "Taylor is Felicity's best friend from Vegas. I met them last summer when you were away dealing with your things. They both visit every year around that time but never warn Felicity beforehand."

Felicity's best friend from Vegas? So a childhood friend that she slept with? How came it was the first time he heard about him? And how was he supposed to compete against that guy when he asked Felicity out?

"Aunt Fleety?" Lilly was asking, peeking through the door. He heard the little girl chuckle. "Aunt Fleety, you've gotta wake up. There's a rude guy and Mr D. waiting for you."

Rude guy? He wasn't rude! He'd been worried, which wasn't the same thing! What was with the attitude? If anyone was rude it was that Lilly kid for being so unwelcoming, and Felicity too now that he thought about it, for putting him in that position in the first place.

As Digg was getting comfortable and sitting on a stool to wait Felicity out, Oliver tried to put his finger on what exactly was bothering him. He could admit to himself that he was jealous. He was used to Felicity's entire attention (and he liked it. A lot), so realizing that there was another guy (and a goddaughter in the mix?) involved that suddenly set him back to second place was harder to swallow than he'd ever thought. He knew he was self-centered (even more where Felicity was concerned) but it wasn't the only reason why he didn't like the fact that Taylor had shared a bed with Felicity.

He didn't like that Felicity had never even mentioned him. She had a friend she was close enough to that she was godmother to his daughter but she never even brought them up in conversations? And Diggle knew about it?

Oliver racked his mind, trying to remember the last time Felicity had told something personal. He knew about her fear of heights. He knew she'd attended M.I.T. He knew when he'd done a background check on her that she had a mother in Vegas and a father who split and never paid child support. Actually, most things that mattered he knew because he'd looked her up back when he was paying her weekly visits with shitty excuses in order to make sure that she was someone he could trust.

Since she'd joined their crusade, he'd been so focused on the Undertaking, then fighting the takeover led by Isobel Rochev, then Slade's vendetta, that he'd never sat down to realize that Felicity never volunteered any personal information. Nothing specific about her past.

Oliver knew who Felicity Meghan Smoak was. She was strong. She was opinionated. She hated being told what to do. She was bold, and fun and outspoken. She spent her days with him and Diggle (or she used to, until he signed off his company to a psychotic bitch), so he'd always thought that she was kind of a loner.

He kind of hated himself for never even taking the time to ask her about _her_. And the knowledge that she'd never volunteered any information either meant that she thought he didn't care or she didn't _want_ him to know. He didn't think Felicity had anything to hide, not like him and the monstrous things he'd done. Either way, it hurt. He trusted Felicity with more than his life. He trusted her with everything and she didn't trust him enough to open up. It was his own fault, but it stung anyways.

Things would change. Definitely. Before he summed up the courage to ask her out. Which he would do. Soon.

Yeah. Soon.

There was a sudden thumping sound that took Oliver out of his reverie and made Lilly jump. He suspected Felicity had fallen off her bed and was currently struggling to get up.

"Are you okay?" the kid asked worriedly.

Oliver heard an unintelligible answer on the other side, and Lilly shrugged, shaking her head dismissively before walking back to Diggle and him. She was still carrying her bowl of cereals around as if someone would steal it away from her. He remembered how he would annoy Thea when she was around that age and chase after her, relishing in eating her bowl and drive her nuts.

His heart clenched. He missed his sister — but she was backpacking in Europe, working off her issues with him and she was safe. He couldn't exactly expect more when he'd sort of done the same thing the year before.

"She's on her way," Lilly explained, as Felicity stumbled out of her door and almost ran into the one across from it.

Oliver had to blink. She was wearing sunglasses and sort of staggering in the hallway like she wasn't confident in her balancing skills. Which, coming from Felicity shouldn't be that surprising. But it was ten a.m on a Saturday. Was she hungover?

And was that his shirt she was wearing?

"I'm so sorry Oliver!" she said and winced automatically at the sound of her own voice. Yes. Definitely a hangover. "Aaaaooow" Felicity whined, her hands flying to her head while Lilly smirked at her and ate another huge spoonful of cereals. The mountain didn't seem to lower.

Oliver stared at the vision before him, unable to get any word out of his mouth. He was used to awkwardness where Felicity was concerned, but he wasn't usually the one feeling uncomfortable. Yet, he had to be man enough to admit (and kind of weirded out too) that seeing Felicity in nothing but his shirt knowing that she'd just spent the night getting her freak on with another guy was kind of unnerving.

"Are you okay?" he asked coldly.

"Taylor isn't getting up?" Diggle pitched in, holding out a mug of coffee to a very thankful Felicity.

"Yes I'm good. My head just hurts — I think it's okay if I stay really still. And I don't know about T. Ooohhhh, coffee, I love you Digg."

Oliver couldn't help the murderous glare he sent Diggle's way. Well this morning was just getting worse and worse. Not only did he insist on making Oliver meet this guy but he also got three nice words thrown his way.

He watched, mystified and his mouth going dry, as Felicity sat on a stool close to him, the shirt (his shirt!) she was wearing riding up her never-ending legs. Her complete ease and the absence of embarrassment let Oliver know that she had not grasped the situation completely. She'd probably forgotten that she wasn't wearing her usual PJs. He didn't know if he should feel smug, amused or uncomfortable. But he was definitely feeling something at the sight.

"I would have brought coffee if I hadn't been worried you'd been kidnapped," Oliver eventually whispered, a little unnerved that Diggle was getting all the love when _he_'d been the concerned one.

"You were worried?" Felicity asked candidly, as if Oliver didn't usually care. "What time is it? I'm so sorry, Taylor came to visit and of course tequila was involved which I was the only one drinking, it turned out and then we were catching up and you know how we get Digg, you saw last summer when we visited the zoo with A.J…"

So everyone had met Taylor and Lilly and he'd never even _heard_ about them? What was so special about them anyway? Or about Taylor, really? Did she _love_ him?

"Anyway," Felicity cut herself short, "I thought I'd be up and on time but… Ooohh I need some ibuprophene… I'm not eighteen anymore… Hey, who let you in anyway?"

"Lilly over there," Diggle pointed with his thumb.

Lilly, who had gone back to sitting on the couch to watch her show raised her spoon in the air when she heard her name.

"We agreed you never opened the door, monkey!" Felicity chastised, on the same tone she used when she disapproved of something Oliver did. That was weird. "We had the safety talk, remember? About creepy people who lurked and kidnapped helpless kids?"

Of course Felicity, the woman who offered herself as bait for serial killers and mass murderers dead-set on revenge would lecture a child on opening doors and putting themselves in the path of danger. That was rich, coming from her, when he'd told her to check her stupid peephole before opening her door at least a hundred times.

"They were this close to taking the door down and it was annoying," the girl answered, her eyes never leaving the screen. "I tried to scare them off with attitude like Mom does with these sales reps that keep popping up."

Felicity's head fell between her hands. "I thought the pounding was in my head. Which it was, but I just… whatever. Can we please agree on the fact that attitude is not a self-defense move against pedophiles?"

"Yes," Lilly replied uncaringly. "I'm watching my show now. Don't mind me."

There was a short silence while Felicity looked like she was looking for something to add and took her sunglasses off when Oliver could hold his tongue anymore.

"So that's your goddaughter?" he asked, making Felicity jump, and Diggle's lips spread wider.

"Yes! That's Lilly, my best friend's daughter. Sorry. So rude of me. I'm just tired, last night was…"

"Your best friend _Taylor_," Oliver cut, not wanting to know just 'how' last night had been.

"Yes!" Felicity confirmed. "From Vegas."

"The one you've never mentioned before but that Diggle's entire family has met."

Even he could hear the sound of jealousy and hurt in his voice, which he knew was both unfair and mean. But he couldn't help it. Felicity knew more about him than anyone in the whole damn world and she didn't believe that he'd be interested in anything that was related to her?

It seemed like something clicked in her head because her lips pressed against each other and her eyes widened suddenly. She didn't just depict the saying 'a deer caught in headlights', she _embodied_ it. Full on panic hit her, making Oliver wonder once more just what the hell was going on, because at this point Diggle didn't just look amused. He seemed to be having the time of his life.

Felicity spun on the stool, throwing a worried glance in the direction of her bedroom, then looked at Oliver with so much guilt that even _he_ felt bad for her. Surely, she couldn't be blaming herself because she'd been with a guy? It wasn't like she owed him, Oliver Queen, anything. If anything, he owed her for sort of shoving Isabel in her face that night in Russia.

"Okay, there's something that you need to know…" Felicity began shakily, whispering quickly.

"I think I've pieced everything together," Oliver cut, not exactly wanting to hear _that_ ramble.

"You have?" Felicity asked, at the same time as Diggle. They were both looking at him in surprise. Did they think he was that clueless? Felicity squinted her eyes, searching his sharply.

"Yeah. It's okay Felicity, you don't owe me…"

Suddenly the door opened and a beautiful woman came out of it dressed in jeans and a loose t-shirt. She had long raven-colored hair that looked exactly like Lilly's and was as slender as the kid. Oliver was starting to think that he had indeed not pieced everything together.

The young woman walked towards them and smiled happily upon seeing his friend.

"John Diggle! How are you? I believe congratulations are in order? Smoak told me you were going to be a daddy!"

Oliver didn't know who to look at. On the one hand, Felicity had literally stopped breathing and was looking at Oliver like she was bracing herself for something. On the other hand, the woman Oliver was quickly suspecting to be Taylor went directly to Diggle and enveloped him in a hug that he returned warmly.

If he was honest with himself, Oliver was slightly dizzy at the realization that Taylor was girl. A woman. Whatever. Taylor was non-male. He would never admit it to anyone, not even himself, but god was that a relief. He could more easily picture the sounds that Felicity and her had made the night before and not choke at the thought. He found that his jaw unclenched on its own accord, as he felt generally way more relaxed. Taylor was a girl. Which made total sense, when he thought about it.

It still didn't explain why he'd never heard about her, but it didn't seem to matter that much anymore.

"Hey Taylor. Yes. It's going to be a little girl! I might need some pointers if you've got any…"

Taylor barked a short, genuine laugh. "God, no. I guess I did well the first few years but I can't control her attitude nowadays."

You don't say! Oliver thought, eyeing the girl grinning proudly while Taylor gazed at her with a look he'd seen his mother wear too many times when she spoke about him.

"I thought pre-teens were a thing invented by the media but man was I wrong," Taylor whispered conspiratorially.

Oliver was still staring at Felicity who was gnawing her lips and the nail of her thumb at the same time in obvious discomfort. What was she so worried about? And was it the reason why she'd never said anything about her best friend? Taylor's eyes fell on him, and Oliver felt Felicity's tension escalate even more. What the hell? She slowly closed her eyes, almost resignedly, while Oliver noticed in the corner of his eyes Diggle grab the box of cereals Lilly had obviously left to lay around and start eating them one by one as if it were pop corn.

"And who are you?" Taylor asked expectantly. Oh yes. Lilly was definitely her daughter. Same tone, same attitude. He could see in her eyes that she knew him from somewhere but hadn't put her finger on it yet — he was used to it. He could also see the wheels in her head turning really fast.

They were both missing something and trying to piece the situation together.

"Taylor, this is Oliver. Oliver, this is Taylor."

Felicity's voice was so strained, it didn't even sound like her anymore.

"Hi. Nice to meet you," Oliver said, holding out his hand but still eyeing Felicity, a little vexed.

Taylor shook it with energy, smiling politely. "Oliver… I can't quite place you, I'm sorry…" she said, obviously sensing her friend's discomfort. "And don't be creeped out but I feel like I've seen you before? I'm terrible with names, I should say so it doesn't mean Felicity never mentioned you."

Oliver bit back the taunt that he, for one, had never heard of her before. But Diggle chuckled, trying to hide it with a terrible impression of a cough that had everyone looking at him. Everyone, except Lilly who was still watching her TV show and ignoring the adults.

"You might have seen me before," Oliver explained wryly. "I'm Oliver Queen."

Taylor's hand fell from his, and Oliver did not miss the way Felicity suddenly found herself highly interested in the hem of the shirt she was wearing. She stilled at the same time as Taylor who turned her head to look at Dig, then glance at him, then at Felicity whose face was slowly becoming redder and redder.

She'd finally noticed what she was wearing.

"Oliver Queen," Taylor repeated slowly. "As in Queen Consolidated?"

"Yes," Oliver nodded.

"As in Smoak's boss."

Felicity slid from her chair, staring at the floor, and pulled at the hem of the shirt as if it would make it grow longer.

"Former boss," Oliver confirmed. "I kinda lost my company."

His I.T girl was slowly walking backwards in the direction of her room when Taylor's arm flew out to grab her friend's. So she'd heard about him. The… thing… that was in Taylor's eyes was definite proof that she knew perfectly who he was. And Oliver wondered just what Felicity had told her about him that would have Felicity want to melt away and disappear.

"Laptop Guy is _Oliver Queen_?" she suddenly screeched.

Laptop Guy? What was that… Okay. Dig and Felicity had been right — he did not even have the first clue about what was going on.

"Oh, Oliver look at the time!" Felicity said immediately, dropping the shirt to look at a nonexistent watch on her wrist and grabbing his arm to walk him towards the door. "John, you guys had so much to do today! Thanks for dropping by but I…"

"Felicity Meghan Smoak," Taylor thundered, making the poor girl wince and flinch. "You filthy, dirty, _disgusting_ liar!"

"I didn't lie!" Felicity mumbled weakly. "You just assumed…"

"When you said you were an executive assistant you forgot to mention that he'd turned into the C.E.O! I really underestimated your talent for euphemisms! 'Son of someone important'? 'We're good friends'?"

"Well it's true!" Felicity barely articulated. "He's the son of someone important and we are good friends!"

She looked up at Oliver with insistence, a hopeful gleam in her eyes that was supposed to prompt him to back her up. So he nodded, still feeling at a loss. He couldn't block out the sound of Diggle digging his hand in the cereal box, nor the sight of Lilly suddenly turning her head to watch the interaction with amused curiosity. Taylor however, was not buying any of it.

"You said you weren't sleeping with him!"

Felicity's eyes bugged out of her face in shock, her mouth agape by then. Frankly, Oliver was this close to reacting the same way.

"I'm… I'm not— we're not," she opposed, baffled, refusing to look at Oliver now.

"So you just parade around in barely any clothes in front of all your bosses? Or it's just the ones who randomly show up at your place with their bodyguard on a Saturday morning?"

Oliver pressed his lips and had to admit that Taylor had a point. And she didn't even know it was the one he'd given her when she'd been shot by Tockman. Taylor's head would probably explode if she knew.

"No!" Felicity exclaimed vehemently. "This is— This is all a misunderstanding I didn't— You know how I get when…"

The poor girl was literally withering under her friends' stares. As Taylor's eyebrow suddenly arched, Felicity stopped still and closed her eyes.

"Three, two, one…"

"Felicity and I were supposed to meet up," Oliver intervened gently, taking pity on the girl. "Since you came here unannounced and apparently involved tequila in the mix, Felicity forgot to tell me yesterday evening. I got worried and showed up. Like a friend. As to Felicity's state of dress… well it's… just… Felicity."

He didn't waiver under Taylor's implacable stare, but she really was scary. Felicity seemed both disgruntled and relieved by Oliver's honest explanation and stayed quiet.

"Right," Taylor eventually stated. "You're friends. All three of you spend a lot of time together during week-ends."

Felicity frowned, her head tilting of its own accord, trying to decipher whether there was a hidden meaning behind the words. Oliver just shrugged: it was the truth. They did spend a lot of time together. He wouldn't tell Taylor that he'd slept at Felicity's place while she pulled an all-nighter at her new job because she'd jump to conclusions but all in all… They were friends. More than that. Partners (who were in love with each other, but weren't dating. Yet. Because Felicity had no clue, because he'd spent a LOT of time keeping her at arms length).

All of which Taylor obviously didn't know about, which made sense when Oliver thought about it.

"Right," Oliver confirmed candidly.

"How would you like to go to dinner with us, Mr Queen? John Diggle's invited too."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Diggle smiled.

"Yes you would," Felicity growled. "And Oliver has a ton of plans. He has a hearing to prepare for, business to attend, man, so much to do, am I right?"

"Nothing that I can't postpone," Oliver replied, eyes boring into Felicity's before shifting his attention to Taylor. "And please, call me Oliver. Mr Queen was my father."

"I don't know, I kinda liked Laptop Guy." Taylor quipped, obviously amused.

"I _really_ think you have other stuff to do, Oliver," Felicity insisted. "Also, you're broke."

"I can afford a restaurant, thank you very much," he countered, a little defensively.

"John, didn't you say that Lyla really needed you lately? You wouldn't want to upset your very pregnant ex… new? Ex-yet-still-your-wife-somehow?"

Now she was just grasping at straws. It was adorable, but literally useless.

"It's like you don't want me to meet your friends, Smoak!" Taylor smiled sweetly. Too sweetly. "Why wouldn't you want your closest friends to hang out with each other?"

Felicity clapped her mouth shut, pressing her lips together, racking her brains for a way out of that tag-team. After a few seconds however, she shook her head and asked in defeat:

"What time?"

"How does seven sound?" Taylor replied enthusiastically. "Oliver will book the restaurant. I'm sure he knows the best places."

"Will do," Oliver smiled back, his usual Oliver-Queen mask on. "I'll leave you to it then."

John set the cereal box down and wiped his hands on his pants then took a few steps to hug Taylor goodbye, telling her that he'd see her later in the evening. He waved at Lilly as Felicity walked her friend to the door.

"Thank you so much for your help," he heard her grumble sarcastically to Diggle.

"Anytime," the man replied, kissing the top of her head amicably.

She was standing under the porch, obviously waiting for Oliver to join her, and obviously having forgotten yet again that she was still wearing nothing but his shirt. Her bed hair was adorable and it was literally taking everything in Oliver not to throw her over his shoulder and forget about dates and finding the right moment and all the other things that he'd convinced Felicity deserved.

Also, he had a feeling Taylor didn't like him very much and if he knew anything about women it was that it never worked unless you had the best friend's approval. Considering the fact that Oliver didn't even know Taylor existed until that morning, he wasn't entirely sure that rule applied but he found that he wanted Felicity's only apparent family member to like him. She obviously had Felicity's back, and it was clear that they both mattered to each other — that Taylor's opinion mattered to Felicity.

Oliver joined Felicity who closed the door behind him, effectively shutting Taylor out of their conversation.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured, her blues eyes shining with guilt. "I really didn't expect you two to ever meet really…"

"Why?" Oliver couldn't help but ask.

Felicity stayed struck, surprised by the question.

"What do you mean, why?"

"Why would we not meet? She's your oldest and best friend. Why have you never told me about her? Or her about me?"

"I told her about you obviously, I just didn't name names!"

"_Laptop Guy_, Felicity? Really?"

"She came up with the name. I stayed mum."

He looked at her, staying quiet, which prompted an annoyed eyeroll from Felicity.

"Oliver, you came to my cubicles with the lamest lies. You were basically the only interesting thing that happened at work that my best friend could relate to. Of course I mentioned you. What was I supposed to say? 'Oliver Queen came back from the dead and he's obviously lost a few marbles because he lies to my face and is charmingly shady'?"

"Charmingly shady?" he grinned.

Felicity rolled her eyes again. "You know what I mean. She thinks you were hitting on me and led me on by the way. I always kept her straight but be warned: you've joined the list of guys in my life that she doesn't approve of. To be fair, there wasn't even a list of guys in my life that she approved of until she met Digg, so…"

"She likes Dig?" he couldn't help but ask, a little hurt and feeling a little competitive too.

"Yeah," Felicity deflected, seemingly glad that this was the only thing he chose to focus on.

He was saving them both, truthfully. He had indeed used his charms and his 'flirty-flirt' talents to get her to do what he wanted at first. Of course her best friend, only having Felicity's perspective on the story wouldn't appreciate that. And he also knew what cover story Diggle had used that last summer when he'd disappeared to Lian Yu (going to Europe to chill with chicks) which couldn't have helped him win points with Felicity's best friend.

"Oliver, you guys can't come to dinner," Felicity kept going. "What if there's an emergency and we all have to disappear? How are we going to explain that? 'Sorry, we've all got explosive diarrhea'?"

She seemed to regret the words as soon as they left her mouth. Oliver chuckled. He couldn't help it, he dropped his hand on her shoulder and pressed it slightly. He found that he'd forgotten what she was wearing too and the feeling of the fabric under his fingers sent a jolt through him. The warmth of her skin seeping through the shirt was as pleasurable as knowing that she was wearing something of his.

This repressed attraction thing was getting out of hand. Soon. He would ask her out soon. But not now, not when her best friend was here.

"Look, things have been going better lately. There aren't that many emergencies anymore, maybe this time we actually take a night off and let you enjoy a quiet evening? Worst case scenario, Roy can handle it. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to actually hang out somewhere other than Verdant and with your friends?"

She'd gone back to biting her thumbnail worriedly. He took that as a yes.

"So I get why you didn't tell her about me…" he started again.

"It's not that I didn't tell her about you. It's just that… what was I supposed to say? How do I explain that we've become friends?"

"There's nothing to explain…"

"She knows me better than I know myself," Felicity cut frustratingly. "She saw me… We've never grown apart all these years, how rare is that? How am I supposed to explain how you went from lame-ass stories to you disappearing to Europe to us being such good friends that you promoted me without her asking questions that you know as well as I do that I can't answer? You didn't even like me when we first started working together!"

"What? That's not true!" Oliver countered, taken aback by the words.

"Oliver, you treated me like a slave at best. 'Do this. Look for that. I don't want your input.' I quit, at first, remember? You only began being nice to me when I almost got my head blown up."

He thought back to that night when Digg and him had found her with the bomb around her neck and his absolute fear that he'd failed her. The nice, innocent, delightful girl who brought the first genuine smiles he'd given in five years. He tried to open his mouth to apologize, but Felicity didn't let him. She smiled peacefully and kept going.

"Not telling Taylor your name, and more of you in the first place, it wasn't me trying to block you out, it was me trying to protect myself. I'm an awkward and _terrible_ liar, and I'm saying this to the guy who told me he was carrying a hangover cure in syringes."

Oliver smiled despite himself and shook his head amusedly.

"I get it," he promised. "But why didn't you tell me about her, then?"

Felicity opened her mouth and stepped out of his reach, her arms wrapping around her frame. He tried to ignore how much he didn't like it.

"Because…" she hesitated. She took a deep breath, and seemed to be bracing herself. "At first, it was because you weren't exactly available emotionally. I'm not sure you were interested in my goddaughter's antics and her mother's crazy ideas for me back when we started our night-job."

Aoutch. Well. Okay, Oliver could grant her that. He remembered that he liked her rambles, and she'd brought up a few random stories but nothing personal because Oliver wasn't interested in anything personal. His quest was as personal as he could get then. But things had changed. She'd brought him back. Literally. She'd gone to pick him up, dust him off and she'd wriggled her way into his heart like no one ever had.

They were partners, for god's sakes, and she couldn't even tell him anything personal? He had to wait for his family to literally crumble to pieces for her to bring up one story about hers?

"But what about since then?" he asked softly, his eyes searching hers.

"Oliver… Everything in my life revolves around you. Taylor… Taylor is the only thing that's just mine. I have so much to hide from her already, she's kept so far away from all of this and… it's refreshing to have something that separate. It sometimes feels a little schizophrenic but I manage and it feels good. I guess I'm just trying to hold onto something… So I don't lose myself."

The sentence had a punching effect on Oliver who tried to stomach it without making Felicity feel bad. He understood the feeling. He was tainting her, surrounding her with darkness and she was losing it. Taylor, she was her light, she kept her sane…

"I get it," he said hollowly. "I won't come tonight…"

Felicity blinked upon seeing his face and her hand flew to catch his, her other one squeezing his shoulder tenderly.

"No, no, no! Don't… You don't understand. I'm happy with our crazy life. God, I wouldn't trade it for the world! I was the one who came asking for more, wasn't I? I'm just saying… I trapped myself with my lies, and I'm so bad at lying it's easier to keep things straight if I'm the only one in control. Also, I'll add for the sake of argument that it's not always easy being part of the guys, you know? You all tend to forget that I'm a girl. Taylor won't let me."

Okay, this was as far from the truth as could be possible, and if he were honest with himself, Oliver should be more hurt by the fact that she thought he saw her as "one of the guys" than by the fact that she seemed sort of okay with it. At that rate, he wasn't even sure Felicity would say yes when he'd be ready to ask her out.

Or that she'd believe that he wasn't kidding.

Now that he thought about it, she'd tossed aside his 'I love you' and his refusal to confirm or deny whether he meant it or not very easily. So… okay maybe over the years he'd sort of used her gullibility and abused her niceness. She kept him on his toes but she gave him so much he forgot that he was actually taking… and losing her in the process. She didn't think he was remotely interested in her. At all.

What the hell was he going to do?

"Plus, she won't let you cancel," Felicity kept on going resignedly. "It's too late now. Made my bed. Might as well lie in it. I just… Urgh. Please don't believe a word she says about anything. She loves pushing people's buttons, it's just the way she is. Also, she can be very aggressive and protective of me."

"Ah! Good." Oliver grinned shyly. "We already have one thing in common. Relax. I won't humiliate you."

"It's not you I'm worried about," Felicity finished sadly.

Oliver's hand cupped her jaw, and she leaned into it with a grin of her own.

"I'll pick you guys up at six forty okay? I'll be my charming self all night, prove to her that there's a reason behind our friendship."

He began walking backwards, heading towards his motorcycle slowly. Felicity crossed her arms on her chest and leaned against the door, smiling dejectedly.

"Oh, that's why we're friends? Your charm?" Felicity mocked. "I thought it was because I'm the only one willing to put up with you!"

"Well, there's that too," Oliver admitting, almost shouting by then. "Nice shirt, by the way!"

He only missed Felicity's blush because she was literally running back in her town house where he was pretty sure Taylor was waiting impatiently for more questioning, and actual explanations. Oliver found he actually felt nervous and couldn't really wait for tonight. He had a feeling he'd learn more about Felicity in one evening than he had in the past two years.

**#**

Taylor Young knew who she was. She was a mother. She was a wife. But first and foremost, even before she'd become all of this, she was Felicity Smoak's best friend.

And she owed her. She owed her her sanity, her life, and her somewhat healthy relationship with her daughter. Felicity was the sister Taylor had never had. She was the yin to her yang (or the other way around, she didn't know which was great and what the other one was).

She'd seen Felicity go from the teenager who lacked self-confidence and tried to blend in, petrified with the fear that she might someday become her mother to the assertive competent woman she'd blossomed into.

She'd also witnessed the other changes in her that had occurred since she'd met the man Taylor called Laptop Guy. Oliver Queen. Man. She hadn't seen that coming.

Felicity and Taylor had always had that unspoken agreement about men. The ones that didn't really matter, they mentioned immediately and were allowed to dissect, mock and toss aside as soon as anything happened. That was why Taylor had never really had any trouble dissing "Boring Wade".

But for the past two years or so, Felicity had gone quiet. Taylor had noticed. Felicity was always busy, busier than usual and she was always hanging out with John Diggle, and working for Laptop Guy. Taylor did not like Laptop Guy. She was willing to give Oliver Queen a chance, but she could honestly say that she did not respect nor like Laptop Guy.

Laptop Guy was the man who ignored Felicity's upbringing, Felicity's hopes and hard work to get into M.I.T in order to facilitate his own life. Laptop Guy was the guy who hit on Felicity for months before asking for more favors, before ditching her for girls with low-self-esteem in Europe… Laptop Guy was the person whom Felicity had apparently dragged back from Europe so he'd take on some responsibilities and he'd thanked her by promoting her without a warning, without _asking_.

Taylor remembered vividly Felicity's outrage at the nomination, and then the quiet acknowledgement that she couldn't let "_him_" down and that "_he_" needed her. Now that Taylor knew that "_him_" was Oliver Queen, the lamest C.E.O of all time, everything made a lot more sense. The bodyguard, the importance, the trust issues… The truth was, she was hurt by the fact that Felicity had kept it hidden.

Because it could only mean one thing. Laptop Guy could be dissed, could be mocked, could be insulted. Oliver Queen couldn't. Wouldn't be. Oliver Queen mattered way more than she'd ever know. And that honestly scared Taylor.

She understood way more than Felicity thought she did. She understood now why Felicity was so sure that he wasn't hitting on her all this time. Why she was so adamant about the fact that he wanted her brains and her abilities and not her body. It was because she did not think it could happen. Yet, from the little interaction that she'd seen between the two, Taylor could tell that there was definitely more between them than what she'd been told, than what she'd even dared to assume.

Taylor Young knew who she was. She was a nosy brat who was fiercely protective of those she loved. Felicity Smoak was one of them. So of course, as soon as John Diggle had left and Felicity closed the door to have a private conversation with Oliver Queen, she'd put a finger on her lips to a judging Lilly and pressed her ear against the door and listened in on the conversation.

She hadn't understood a lot, but she'd understood enough to know that there was more to that whole thing, and that Felicity was lying to her in order to protect him. Taylor wasn't angry at her friend for that. She knew better than anyone how important it was for someone to have a friend who knew there was more to a story but didn't push. She would never be thankful enough to Felicity for not asking about Lilly's father. So she'd return the favor and wouldn't be questioning Oliver, Felicity and John Diggle's odd friendship — nor the secrets behind it. Oliver had a reason to go to Felicity. He obviously respected her and appreciated her a lot, she'd discerned the tenderness and concern in his voice.

When Felicity had run back inside, avoiding her eyes and heading directly to her bedroom to change out of what Taylor had guessed was Oliver's shirt (who other OQ had their initials sewed into their collars?) and into more appropriate clothes, Taylor had let her. Felicity had apparently decided that she'd act as if the entire morning had not happened. Again, Taylor let her. If Felicity wanted to play mind games, Taylor knew she'd win. She wasn't the one who was hiding something.

That was why around five she decided it was time to get ready. She was surprised to find Felicity seated in her underwear, staring at her dressing with a frown.

"Don't know what to wear?" she taunted.

"I don't know where we're going," Felicity answered naturally. "If it's Big Belly — which we should because Oliver's broke and can't exactly afford Table Salt anymore — I can go casual and wear my jeans but knowing him he'll want to treat us right and take us to some place fancier."

She suddenly stood up and perused through her clothes, taking a tight black camisole and a flowing dotted skirt that reached right over her knees. Taylor hadn't really noticed the change in Felicity's dresser until now. There was a multitude of bright colors and adorable outfits that seemed dressed up yet not uptight. Once she was dressed, Felicity looked both like a mature woman that you'd be wrong not to take seriously and a very hot confident badass. She let her hair down, brushing it so it'd spread casually around her shoulders. Taylor was amazed: it was typically Felicity but breathtaking. It had character and was remarkable while still low-key enough not to draw too much attention. Taylor felt pride spread in her: for so long, she had hated that Felicity tried to blend in. She wasn't trying to anymore. And it suited her perfectly.

"You're not wearing contacts?"

"Why would I?" Felicity wondered. "It's only for special occasions."

Taylor sat on her friend's bed, considering her reactions carefully.

"So it's true then? There's nothing special for you to go to a restaurant with your boss and his bodyguard?"

Felicity's eyes met Taylor's through the mirror as she sighed.

"We don't usually go to the restaurant, we go to Big Belly Burger or we eat take-out. But yes, I'm used to hanging out with them. We're all _friends_."

"But you don't tell them about you."

Felicity's hand jolted and spread mascara on her eye messily.

"What?"

"Oliver didn't know I existed, admit it. You hang out with them, but they don't know you."

"They know me differently," Felicity eluded, trying to wipe the mascara away distractedly.

"They don't know about your past," Taylor insisted.

"_My past_," Felicity mocked. "Trust me, I'm not as interesting as you make me sound. It just never comes up. I've mentioned you without saying your name, but most of the time we work. Oliver doesn't usually drop by my place, he's only a little paranoid about safety stuff because of the island. Oh speaking of which, there's a list of topics you are not allowed to broach during this dinner. It's on my bedside table."

"A list of topics I'm not allowed to broach," Taylor repeated with as much skepticism as she could. "Of course there's a list: I'm hanging out with Felicity Smoak."

She took one peek at it and rolled her eyes immediately.

"Of course I wasn't going to bring up the island! Who do you think I am? Oh, hell no. There's no way I'm not bringing your exes up. I want him to hear about Perfect Night."

"NO!" Felicity spun on her heels. "Taylor Young, no! You are not, under any circumstances, allowed to even _think_ about Perfect Night!"

"Who do you think is better in bed? Oliver Queen or Perfect Night? I won't lie, I've been wondering about that since I laid eyes on him. How do you even keep yourself from jumping him every occasion you get?"

Felicity blinked repeatedly, trying to keep her composure (and failing). "I'm a professional."

They shared a look, testing each other, then Taylor burst out in a laugh that she was sure she'd ever be able to stop.

"Yeah right. You sound like a hooker."

"Whatever," Felicity puffed, "you'll see, there's nothing going on between us. Strictly platonic. And before you say anything, you'll be the witness that the guy has sexual chemistry with a _fork_. So hold back your horses. Nothing's going on. And tonight is going to be proof of that."

Taylor couldn't help but smirk. Felicity wore his shirt when she fell asleep completely drunk. They needed to reassure each other about the other's importance in their lives. He came to her apartment to make sure nothing was wrong with her when they were not even working together anymore.

'Tell that to someone else,' Taylor wanted to say. But she knew Felicity. She knew she didn't want to hear it. She knew there were other things, other secrets. So she settled for something simpler.

"Fine. I'm expecting to be dazzled by all the friendliness of your relationship. But know that I'll only believe you if you braid each other's hair."

"You're insufferable."

Soon enough, Oliver knocked at the door, carrying two beautiful bouquets. Taylor shook her head dismissively. Maybe he was always like that (understand: over the top), but Taylor appreciated that he was _trying_. He'd sensed her reticence earlier and him trying to impress Felicity's best friend meant that he wanted them to get along, if only for Felicity's sake.

Oliver Queen was winning a few points.

"Lilly's not coming along?" he asked, sneaking a glance over her shoulder and looking slightly relieved.

"Oh honey, you'll thank me later for that," Taylor answered, taking the bouquets and settling them in a vase. "Bringing a snarky ten year-old kid at a restaurant with only adults for company would have driven everyone nuts."

"She's at Carly's," Felicity explained, rolling her eyes. "Lilly and A.J get along great. And she was not looking forward to hanging out with older peoples. I'm twenty-six, and officially uncool… That didn't last."

Oliver's smile turned from one of façade to a genuinely moved one. Taylor blinked, impressed by the sudden change Felicity elicited in the man. Oh there was definitely more about them.

"I'm sure she still thinks you're cool," he said amusedly.

"See it that way: you can't be more uncool than I am, don't worry…" Taylor soothed. "You should have been there during that whole 'I want an iPhone 9' conversation. My ears are still bleeding. Thankfully, I'm heartless. Or at least, that's what she yelled. I'm like that Game of Throne character that you like so much: I know nothing."

"There's no such thing as an iPhone 9 yet." Felicity frowned.

"Of course, that's what you take from that story. Anyway. Shall we go? I'm kid free tonight, or as kid-free as I can get right now, and I am looking forward to thoroughly enjoying the fact that your social life has expanded."

They stepped under the porch while Felicity locked the door, and Taylor noticed how automatically Oliver moved to make more space and settle his hand on the small of her back, prompting Taylor's eyebrows to arch on her forehead. She glanced quickly at Felicity to check her reaction and was fascinated by her lack of one. Her blond friend straightened up and grinned at Oliver, dangling her keys in front of him.

"See? Locked."

"I know you lock your door," Oliver rolled his eyes, pushing Felicity slightly so she'd start walking, under Taylor's highly interested stare. "I just told you not to keep a spare key in your car. What if someone steals your car and decides to pay a visit?"

"Jeez, it was one time!"

"Granted, I don't know who would be weird enough to want to steal your car…"

"Stop right there Oliver Queen," Felicity cut, as Oliver opened the passenger door to let her sit, which she did automatically. Taylor opened her own door and settled on the backseat, oddly content with the fact that she was being completely ignored. She was too fascinated by the interaction to take it personally. This was better than reality TV. "Do not talk ill of my baby. Who _wouldn't_ want to steal it? It's adorable!"

"A cereal box is bigger!" Oliver threw.

"Oh!" Felicity gasped in outrage. "Take that back! We can't all afford Bentley's, Mister-I'm-broke-but-don't-realize-it. You've never read my memo on how to live on a budget have you?"

"I…'ve been busy?" Oliver winced.

Oh this was too precious. And typical Felicity Smoak.

"You wrote him a _memo_?" Taylor chipped in. "Even _I_ wouldn't want to read that. And I've been broke most of my life."

The ride to the restaurant was spent listening to Felicity's rambles, and Taylor studying Oliver and Felicity closely. Oliver showed impressive patience with Felicity's storytelling abilities — a patience that Taylor could admit she didn't remotely possess. She usually forced her friend to go back on track or went nuts. But Oliver always listened, only stopping her once with one knowing grin that made her blush and prompted Taylor to wonder what the hell that grin meant already.

There wasn't any doubt left in her mind. They were friends. They knew each other. And Oliver very obviously respected Felicity as a person and as a woman he worked with. If his patience wasn't enough of a tell, the way he looked at her as she spoke would have convinced even someone blind. Taylor was pretty sure that even Jason didn't look at her that way when she told a story. The sight of Oliver's obvious feelings was as mesmerizing as Felicity's complete obliviousness.

They got out of the car, Felicity still talking animatedly, and met with John Diggle who had come even if his wife (or ex-wife? Taylor couldn't keep up) had declined the invitation, too tired to contemplate a night out. Taylor could relate.

"Oh I remember how it was when I was seven months pregnant. Just the idea of moving made me tired. I was so bloated and I felt so huge… Smoak called me a lazy whale."

"You're taking that out of context!" Felicity protested. "You were using your pregnancy as a constant excuse for not doing anything and not showing up to class and I told you that one lazy whale laying on the couch was enough and I didn't need another one."

Diggle and Oliver chuckled, but Taylor could see that Oliver was trying to decipher who exactly was the other "lazy whale".

"Oh right!" Taylor confirmed. "That was Donna and Craig's third breakup, wasn't it?"

"You called your mom a lazy whale?" Oliver asked with shock.

Felicity blushed and shrugged, so Taylor came to the rescue.

"And trust me on this one, that's another one of Smoak's massive euphemisms. When Donna goes through a breakup it's like the world needs to stop and mourn the shitty relationship she insisted on having. She sprawls on the couch and feels sorry for herself until the guy crawls back or she forgets why she felt miserable in the first place."

Felicity shook her head. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

Taylor frowned. Felicity didn't usually mind when Taylor brought up the topic of Donna "Queen of Drama" Smoak. But she was avoiding Oliver's eyes, Oliver who had obviously sensed Felicity's unease. Was she ashamed? Of her upbringing? Taylor knew Felicity had fought her entire life to get out of Vegas, out of her mother's house. She remembered where she came from, and she owned it like nobody else. Did she fear that Oliver would think less of her if he knew where she grew up?

She wouldn't let Felicity hide that. She had so much to be proud about.

"When I got knocked up at sixteen…"

"Don't say 'knocked up'!" Felicity hissed, making Taylor roll her eyes.

That was the word Donna always used when she spoke about getting pregnant with Felicity. Her best friend hated the word, but Taylor couldn't make her understand that she didn't mean it in a bad way.

"Okay, so when I told my mom I was pregnant, I was four and a half months along and she kicked me out. Smoak didn't think twice, neither did Donna. I stayed for a few months, until Lilly was ready to come out. Without Smoak, I'd probably have given birth in the back of a dirty alley…"

"Or in the sewers," Felicity rolled her eyes at Taylor's exaggeration. "It was nothing."

"It wasn't nothing! Don't _ever_ say that," Taylor protested, turning to face her best friend then addressing the other two guys. "She worked double shifts at a diner with a skeevy boss, went to school and had so many advanced class even my brain fried at the thought, got my homework when I didn't show up _and_ managed to be valedictorian. As if that wasn't enough, she still found the way to drop by the seven eleven on her way home to buy some ice cream and candy to make me feel better. Smoak was awesome."

"Sounds like you haven't changed!" John Diggle chuckled. "You must have been exhausted, doing all of this."

"Not really," Felicity shrugged shyly. "I already did it for my mom. And I never needed much sleep anyway."

Taylor observed Oliver looking at Felicity, and her breath hitched. She had literally never seen as much admiration and pride in someone's eyes. He didn't seem surprised. He seemed unfazed by the news, as if he already knew it but was excited to have confirmation.

"What about you, Oliver Queen?" she tried to deflect because Felicity had invented a whole new shade of red to her face. "What did you do when you were sixteen?"

Oliver's eyes shone with a knowing gleam and shrugged unapologetically.

"I cheated on my girlfriend and drank myself into oblivion with my best friend Tommy."

"Impressive. Did you do any of this in Vegas?"

"Ha, Tommy and I might as well have owned a suite at the Four Seasons."

"Not bad. Maybe we went to the same parties at some point."

Oliver blinked, taken aback, like it was the very first time the thought even crossed his mind and he chuckled, clearly amused.

"Maybe. I really hope not though. I was a douche then."

No one contradicted him, not even Felicity, and this filled Taylor with satisfaction.

At some point, Felicity mentioned that she needed to go to the bathroom but Taylor declined despite knowing that her friend was reluctant to leave her alone with John Diggle and Oliver. However, Taylor knew Felicity waited until the last second to go to the restrooms and couldn't wait Taylor out. The smirk of victory she offered when Felicity gulped and escaped in defeat was met by a murderous and warning look.

"Behave!" she whispered angrily.

"Always."

Felicity kept glancing at them as she headed for the restrooms and by the time Taylor had finished waving at her, Oliver had already seen through the bullshit. Taylor contemplated confronting Oliver but he was obviously expecting it and she didn't want to give him the satisfaction. With a dismissive smirk, Taylor decided to pay more attention to John Diggle and began discussing his impending fatherhood. She completely ignored Oliver who seemed both baffled and relieved. When Felicity walked back, she eyed everyone carefully and sat down, letting Oliver mindlessly slide his arm on the back of her chair. They started a conversation, each looking in the other's eyes, suddenly and effectively blocking out the rest of the world.

Taylor shared a long look with John Diggle who smiled knowingly. He understood what she'd noticed. And he agreed. Oliver Queen was in love with Felicity, and Taylor knew despite all her recriminations that Felicity was head over heels in love with him.

Truthfully, they were both kind of adorable together. Not that Taylor would say anything. She just felt bad for John Diggle who had to suffer through that on a daily basis. Couldn't be easy.

At the end of the meal, the other three stood up with her and began walking towards the exit, leaving a very willing Taylor behind. Felicity was in between the two men, talking animatedly about future plans and Oliver's hand had already glued itself on her back. She noticed how John Diggle was observing their surroundings, making sure that everything was okay. They made an odd group, she thought, but it seemed natural. They just fit together.

Suddenly, Felicity's cellphone rang and all three froze expectantly. Taylor paid extra attention as Felicity read what was written and shared an anxious look with Oliver first, then showed the content to the bodyguard.

Oliver shook his head, and smiled peacefully at Felicity.

"Roy can handle it," he whispered, but Taylor heard anyway. She was pretending to be texting, acting like she was in her own bubble.

"No, Roy was hurt not so long ago when you guys went nuts in that plane…" Felicity whispered back. "I'm not sure he…"

"Show a little faith in the guy, won't you? Digg, back me up please."

John Diggle nodded assuredly. "He's taken care of worse by himself last summer, didn't he?"

But Felicity was biting her lips, reading her cellphone over and over, until Oliver's hand came to cover it and take it slowly and softly away, forcing her to plunge her eyes in his.

"We said _one_ night off. And you have a guest at home. I don't think you can ditch Taylor and you said you were a terrible liar. Remember?"

"What if…" Felicity began.

"You know what? I'll go give him a hand, okay?" John cut gently. "So Roy's not alone to deal with all of that, and I know how to run your tracking apps. You guys finish up here and enjoy your evening. How's that?"

Both men stared Felicity down until she relented and nodded that she agreed.

"Tell him to be careful, okay?" she asked, as John Diggle walked up to say goodbye to Taylor.

"I promise I will. Something came up, I'm sorry Taylor. Will I see you before you leave?"

"I hope so! You and your wife, or ex-wife I'm a little confused about all of this, should come to dinner some time this week!"

"I'll let you know," he smiled.

As they rode back home, Felicity checking her phone, Taylor kept observing and reaching conclusions that she found she was at peace with. All she'd ever wanted was for Felicity to find happiness. That was why, despite the fact that she herself was stuck in Vegas with a kid, she had pushed her to go to M.I.T all these years ago. That was why she had let her go, expecting Felicity to fly out and never look back.

Felicity had kept looking back, throughout the years. She'd looked back at her past, at the men who'd treated her like shit, she'd looked back at the people who had been such an important part of her life. These past two years had been tough for Taylor because for the first time, she had seen Felicity in a different light.

For the first time, Taylor had the feeling Felicity was not looking back nor trying to predict the future and control it. From what she'd witnessed that day, for the first time ever, Felicity was living and basking in the moment.

She was no longer blending in. She wore shiny colors. She wore a ponytail that put her face forward, made it brighter. She looked confident, and she'd never been more herself than Taylor had ever seen her be. She wasn't some dull-looking, confidence-lacking woman anymore.

And Taylor had the feeling that she owed that transformation to Oliver Queen. From their interaction, Taylor had witnessed a push and pull dynamic, each carrying the other when needed. When Felicity wasn't so sure, Oliver was reassuring. When Oliver seemed to be lost, Felicity was there. They might not be together (right now) but Taylor had a feeling that it wouldn't take that long. Or that, in the end, it didn't really matter. Oliver Queen, for all his flaws, for all his mistakes, made Felicity truly happy.

Who was she to ask for anything more?

So when Oliver parked the car in front of the little townhouse, Taylor got out immediately.

"You should come to dinner too, next time. If you don't have any plans," she offered to Oliver.

The man looked a little stunned but smiled when he understood what that offer meant. That was a peace offering. That meant that he'd passed the test that Creepy, Smug Bastard and Spinach Wade had failed miserably.

"I'll be there," Oliver replied.

Taylor nodded, then spun on her heels.

She couldn't believe that all this time, Felicity was really destined to meet a Queen, and that this meeting would make her best friend so happy.

Heh. Felicity was so getting an "I told you so" in the morning.

For now, Taylor would let her flirt with Oliver Queen in the car and keep her mouth shut.

Consider that her future-wedding present.

[**THE END**]

* * *

**Author's Note:** So I'm leaving this open-ended and I'm trying to be as canon as possible with what we know of season 3 so far. It's marked as complete because so far I've told everything I wanted to tell about Felicity and Oliver and how they evolved with each other and by themselves, but I'm going to be hoping that season 3 doesn't just mash completely what I've done and that this story stays somewhat canon. Which means that if it should so happen, I might try to write Felicity and Oliver's [spoiler] interactions from Felicity or Taylor's point of view. Or maybe next summer Taylor can visit again and have an opinion on what happened during season 3 (maybe also during the Christmas hiatus, who knows?). I'm not saying it's going to happen for sure, but I'm not saying a definite no. If you are interested of course.

Thank you again for the support, it's been highly appreciated. I hope this story (so far) pleased you and that you had fun reading it. I definitely had fun writing it.


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